What I learned from being diagnosed with ADHD

I’ve always felt “different”. At some stages in my life, I’ve thought that “I'm broken”, “I'm too much”, “I'm inadequate”, “I'm not capable”, "I am not smart”, and other not-so-positive adjectives.

I thought something was wrong with me because I didn’t behave like many others do.

A few years ago, I had a heartbreak experience that led me on a path of self-discovery and healing, but also on a path to not feeling very well physically, mentally and emotionally for a few years. I was starting to feel better in early 2020 when the pandemic hit. The first few months I was OK, but with time I started to feel not OK. 2021 was a tough year.

I got to a point that I couldn’t see a way out; I was lacking motivation, I felt tired most of the time and I found it really hard to focus or getting things done. I looked for answers everywhere, I visited different kinds of doctors, had tests done, I tried alternative therapies and more.

I am very curious about many topics. I had read about ADHD (1) and I started to identify behaviours that I had that seemed like I could have ADHD. A doctor gave me a referral to visit a – very expensive - psychiatrist. A few conversations and tests later, I was diagnosed with ADHD. I felt relieved and petrified at the same time. I cried that day. Having a diagnosis explained many experiences that I had as a child at school and at different stages in my life.

It’s been a process of understanding myself, my behaviours, how I operate and learning to accept myself as I am.

For a while, I felt very embarrassed. I told a few people and some were not very supportive. It hurt, particularly because my mental health wasn’t great at the time. I don’t take it personally. I understand now that there are many situations that people don’t know how to handle, and that’s OK.

I get it! It can be difficult to understand something we haven’t experienced ourselves and we don’t know much about.

It’s been a few years since the diagnosis and I keep learning about myself. I’ve learned that:

• We are all very different, and there is value in diversity
• My neurodivergent (2) “perks” are what make me “Vivacious”: I am active, curious, creative, passionate, spontaneous, resilient, compassionate, caring, persistent (with things that I care about), cheerful, observant and great multitasker.
• I may do things differently, but I keep finding what works for me. ?
• Being “different” helps me aim to understand people better, it makes me more open minded and curious to learn from others
• My brain is fascinating! I can go from a nerdy engineer to a creative artist mode in seconds and vice versa. The best of both worlds ;)????

With time, I’m becoming more open to talk about ADHD (and neurodiversity (3) in general) and it’s becoming less confronting to do so. However, I still hesitate about mentioning that I am neurodivergent because I worry that people will think less of me, feel pity or treat me differently. And that’s something I continue to work on.?

I’ve noticed that neurodiversity (3) is more common than I thought and conversations about it are becoming more normalised now, and I love it! But there is still room to improve and lots more to learn and be aware of.

Having an ADHD diagnosis doesn’t define me!

To me, it just means that my brain works differently. But all our brains do anyway! There is no reason to be embarrassed or feel less capable. I have accomplished a lot personally and professionally being as I am, and I continue to build a beautiful life following my passions.

Definitions:

(1) ADHD (Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder): Neurodevelopmental condition that affects the nervous system, including the brain, during development from childhood to adulthood. Since 1994, experts have used the term "Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder" to refer to neurodivergence that affects attention and concentration.

To me, this is just a medical term; it’s not a deficit of attention, it’s selective attention; it’s not a disorder, it’s just diversity in behaviour.

(2) Neurodivergent: Someone who behaves, thinks and learns differently compared to those who are neurotypical (4). This term can be used to describe an individual whose brain functions differently to what is considered “normal”. This includes people with ASD, ADHD, OCD, dyslexia and a range of other neurodiverse conditions. More info: https://exceptionalindividuals.com/neurodiversity/

ASD: Autism Spectrum Disorder

Dyslexia: Learning difference that can affect reading and writing

Dyspraxia: Learning difference affecting coordination, movement, balance and organisation abilities

Dyscalculia: Developmental Dyscalculia (DD) is a specific learning disorder that is characterised by impairments in learning basic arithmetic facts, processing numbers and performing accurate and fluent calculations.

OCD: A common mental health condition where a person has obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviours.???

(3) Neurodiversity refers to the virtually infinite neuro-cognitive variability within Earth’s human population.?It points to the fact that every human has a unique nervous system with a unique combination of abilities and needs.

(4) Neurotypical: not having, or not associated with, a brain condition, especially autism, that is often considered as "different from what is usual".

Disclaimer:

I am no expert in the topic. I am just sharing my personal experience and views.

To write this, I did some research about neurodiversity/neurodivergency. I learned some things about the meaning of concepts and how I was using some of them wrongly.

I also did some research about ADHD. Wow! Most of the information out there only mentions negative behaviours and not many talk about the positive traits that makes people with ADHD unique, amazing at what they do and great team members & leaders!