What I know at 59 that I wish I’d known at 25

There are many things I wish I’d have known at 24 that I know now. Having said that, life is about gaining wisdom through experiences, interactions with others, emotions, and reflection, so of course we know more as we grow older (and unless we fall prey to mind control, hopefully also wiser).

For this article, let me pick just a few things that would have been super useful in my career.

1.??????Always negotiate your compensation

Before I even talk about this, let me be clear: This is not about exaggerated entitlement. When we apply for our first dream job, there’s usually a lot to learn.

Having said this: A lot of people, and especially women, and even more so of my generation and the one after, never negotiated their salaries… only to discover later that their colleagues (the ones who did negotiate) took home a lot more money than us at the end of the month.

Not negotiating my salary cost me $300,000 over a period of just 3.5 years at one point in my career (and this is not the only time I missed out), and if you have never negotiated your compensation package, I know it’s costing you, too.

Stop leaving money on the table just because you think you can’t negotiate, either because “in our organization, we don’t negotiate” (this is never true!), you don’t have the guts (upgrade your mindset!) or because you think you don’t have the skills (I have an easy fix for that, too – DM me!).

DM me now if you need help negotiating your salary

2.??????Promotions and raises are never a result of taking on more tasks

At 27, I was promoted into a leadership position for which I had no obvious preparation: no related studies or background. Luckily, someone saw the potential in me. Yes, I was working too many hours at the time, but the reason for this promotion was elsewhere: I proactively suggested improvements to processes and brought innovative concepts to outdated (or missing) systems.

But because I also spoke several languages, I soon was doing translations “on the side,” in addition to leading a diverse team with just as diverse needs, being the go-to person for literally anyone in the office, being in charge of people management, career development, training, operations, and later also office buildouts and remodeling projects, just to name a few, while introducing new processes and systems. This meant, I’d take home entire presentations (usually to be translated from German or French) after already long days to finish them off at night or during the weekends.

I just couldn’t seem to say no.

Why was that? – Well, probably because I had a huge need for validation. I wanted to be someone. I wanted to be important. Maybe deep down, I wanted to feel loved, which is often at the root of not setting healthy boundaries.

Soon, I wasn’t only in charge of one office but two. Which, by the way, was aligned with what I wanted, as it gave me the opportunity to learn a new language and travel to the second location practically every week, and I love traveling! But as you can imagine, it also added a huge workload to my already full plate, especially as the new office needed to be built out first, staff was to be hired, trained, and managed,…

Admittedly, this was a compelling opportunity for me; I could not let slip through my fingers; I wanted it! But I failed to budget for an assistant to delegate some of my other responsibilities.

The years flew by far too quickly. I hardly ever made it to my 8pm dance classes, despite starting my day before most people arrived at the office, and I sure didn’t get rich from it. There was no additional raise, and I was already getting the highest possible bonus anyway.

My point is: More work doesn’t mean more money. What brings you a higher salary, is a better strategy.

My clients know this, and they have tools to focus on what's relevant for their next career goal and manage their priorities – strategically!

DM me now if you need help with your prioritization and promotion strategy

3.??????I am enough

We are all enough. We are not supposed to be perfect. We are called to be or become the best version of ourselves.

Frankly, I don’t know for sure where exactly my need to be perfect or my need for validation came from. I have analyzed this quite thoroughly because my parents did not require us to be the best at school or at anything, for that matter. They just let us be, and we were free to choose whatever education or career we wanted. While they may not have been able to provide a lot of guidance, they also gave us all the freedom in the world to make our own decisions and they’d always support us as best as they could. And I know this wasn’t easy. I grew up on a farm and my dad had a full-time job in addition to the farmwork in order to sustain us all, so I’m forever grateful for all my parents’ work, their love, and their sacrifices. I have the best parents I could wish for.

So where did this “not-enoughness” come from? – It’s a very complex topic for sure. Maybe subconsciously, I just wanted to be the perfect big sister for my siblings…

Fact is, it took me decades to learn that I am enough, and I am still working on integrating this truth. This truth that says we are all enough as we are. That we are not meant to be perfect. Much rather, we are called to be the best version of ourselves, the best version of who we already are, deep down.

And that’s also how we can achieve the most fulfilling success. Not through fake success, the type of success that is not sustainable, the success that doesn’t feel good because we’re sacrificing our wellbeing and our desires; and maybe also putting our passions on the backburner, denying who we really are, and abandoning our purpose.

We experience the best-feeling success… Not by showing up as someone we are not. Not by chasing perfectionism. Not by playing a role.

We experience it by daring to be authentic and to uncover, own, and show our unique brilliance.

And sometimes, by being a cycle buster, in our very own way.

See, purpose isn’t about what you do. It’s about who you are and how you show up for yourself and in service to the world (a world that may not always get you).

If you’re in your twenties now, your background and reality may be completely different to mine.

?You grew up with the internet, which gives you a broader spectrum of information, but you’re also constantly bombarded with lots of confusing messages coming from many fronts.

Maybe you were born in a large city, while I was raised in a tiny village.

Or you may have grown up in a wealthier or a less wealthy family than I.

In the end, it doesn’t matter. What matters is what you do with it, while always remembering that: You are enough!

DM me if you still don’t believe it, and we get that fixed for you.