Is what I do who I am?

Today, I'm turning the newsletter over to my dear friend Jessica Harjo. Jessie is the Chief Experience Officer at Minno and the mom of two young boys. I relate so much to her thoughts on the risks of over-identifying with our work and how we might find freedom in grounding our identity in our faith.

I recently visited the beach with my husband and two young sons. As they are ages 4 and 7, we spent a lot of time building sandcastles. And as anyone who has built a sandcastle knows, this is a short-lived glory. No matter where you build it, that castle is at risk, either from high tide, wind, or some early-morning jogger who doesn't realize that the mound of sand ahead of them is a magnificent work of art that should not be stepped upon. Each time we headed down to the beach, I found myself coaching my sons to enjoy the sandcastle while they were building it and to remember that it might not last. Even if everything seems perfect and conditions are ideal, sometimes it just…. collapses. Sand is not to be trusted.

As I stood on the beach, watching the tide erase the sandcastles my sons painstakingly built, I couldn't help but see a reflection of my journey. In many ways, our lives can sometimes mirror these temporary sandcastles. We pour our time and energy into building our careers, only to find that all too often, shifting circumstances or simply time have allowed these things to wash away.?

When I started my career, I was blissfully confident that I would always have a handle on "work to live, don't live to work" and the idea that happiness doesn't come from wealth, power, or success. As a Christian, I went even further, knowing beyond a doubt that my true worth comes from the Lord and that my ultimate purpose is to bring Him glory. And yet, as I got older and began to experience some small successes in my career, I realized that I enjoyed identifying with where I worked and what I did. After all, aren't we supposed to take some pride in our work? Yet, when I began to find myself in situations with pressure to perform and drive tangible business outcomes - I faltered. While being laser-focused on metrics and performance is acceptable and appropriate, looking back, I can see how I inadvertently tied my value and worth to whether or not I could hit these goals. If I couldn't, I was an utter failure. If I could, it would be the most significant victory of my career. Everything would change - everything would be different. When did I go from simply being proud and enthusiastic about my work to deeply tying my self-worth to my career? I'm still determining. But I do know that somewhere along the way, I had foolishly traded foundations - leaving the safety of rock for ever-shifting sand.

If this strikes a chord with you, and you're wondering if you might be in the same situation, I would ask: Are you exhausted? If so, you might be caught in the same trap I found myself in. Here's what it might feel like:

Due to various accomplishments, you've made a tall mountain of sand that felt tempting to climb on and take pride in. You've looked around and thought, "Look what I built! I love that this is mine!" Yet, you're somehow aware that it might not last. Inevitably, the tides will change. Something will go wrong. You'll fail or make a mistake. The economy will change, or your life circumstances will change. It's as sure as the tide. Eventually, the foundation will wash away. And now, you're trapped in a never-ending cycle. You are constantly scooping up new sand, trying to shore up your foundations, and rebuilding your castle before the next wave.

In my case, I was focused on not only getting ahead and building a bigger castle but also making sure I didn't lose any ground. From time to time, I felt like I got ahead of it for a bit. I would try to rest. But all too fast, the cycle would start up again. The tide kept coming, and it never ended. The sand kept crumbling. I was exhausted.?

It wasn't until I talked to a dear mentor and friend that I realized that at some point along the way, I had allowed a business result to become linked with my identity. With one gentle question, she helped me identify the lie I was holding onto: If this business failed, then I was a failure. Thank the Lord for the wisdom of friends who can help us see when we've accepted a lie as reality.

And so it was time to step back onto the actual rock. Leaving my sandcastle of personal accomplishment and acknowledging that I am valuable not because of anything I've done but because of who God is and who He says I am. His daughter. This is the firm foundation He offers us: To root our foundation in He who is unchanging and to rest in the truth and peace of that eternal promise. We are at our best when we find our identity in Christ because it depends on Him rather than on our accomplishments.?

Since learning this, my professional career and personal peace have improved. By resting in the peace of knowing that my value is secure in Christ, I'm not so shaken by external factors. I've also found that I'm braver. Who would have guessed that once I learned how to plant my feet more securely on this firm foundation, I'd be more willing to take on additional responsibility and more significant, riskier opportunities? I've even found myself embracing the volatile world of startups - because I'm no longer fearful of what failure might mean. When we're confident in who God says we are, fear of the future and fear of failure become easier to manage. Failure might happen, but it will never define me.?

In the future, I plan to try, with God's help, to keep my identity rooted in Jesus Christ rather than the shifting sands of personal accomplishment.?

If my experiences resonate with you, here are a few things you can do:

1. Evaluate Your Identity: Ask yourself a few questions: Where have you planted your foundation? What are you most proud of? What is the single most important thing about you? Is it on Christ, or is it dependent on something less trustworthy, more temporal??

1. Anchor in Christ: Refer to the Bible! John 1:1 says, "Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God." Another passage I like is Isaiah 43: 1-7. If you're still not sure you're anchored, reach out to the Lydia Lab community! Any one of us would be glad to talk to you about building your life and anchoring it in Jesus.

1. Embrace Courage: Jesus offers us freedom. Circumstances matter less. At the end of the day, we're all just doing our best to love God and love others. So let go of any fear and trust Him. Your performance in this life is different from what will make a difference. His perfect performance was the only one that mattered.

1. Consider Others: Being clear about your identity is valuable as a manager and leader. It is critical to remember that everyone we work with, from employees to peers to external partners, has immense value to our Creator! The way we treat people matters—regardless of their impact on the bottom line. When we accurately view our identity and value to the Lord, recognizing the value of those around us must inevitably follow.

CS Lewis talks about this in his book "The Weight of Glory": "It may be possible for each to overthink of his potential glory hereafter; it is hardly possible for him to think too often or too deeply about that of his neighbor. The load, or weight, or burden of my neighbor's glory should be laid daily on my back, a load so heavy that only humility can carry it, and the backs of the proud will be broken. ... It is in light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, and civilizations are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit. ... Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses."

Thanks for letting me share with you my journey in redefining my identity. My prayer for all of us Christian women in this community is that we continue to do great things while always staying firmly rooted in and focused on Christ.