What I Do When I'm Bored

Two days ago I got home from a month in Scandinavia, having kayaked in Greenland and the Svalbard Islands, mushed dogs (in the summer no less) hiked epic territories in the land of the midnight sun, and otherwise explored the land of some of my long- distant ancestors. This is what happens when you get curious about your DNA. You find out, then you wanna go see where you came from..or at least I did.

I hadn't been back 48 hours, changed out the SIM card in my phone before the scams started up again. I was driving back to my house after the standard put-the-parts-back-in-place visit to my sports chiropractor when I got the Phone Call:

"The IRS has (sic) law suit against you. In order to avoid jail time YOU MUST CALL THIS NUMBER IMMEDIATELY."

I cracked up. Here we go again.

First of all, I live on a disability income which isn't taxed, because, well, it's a disability income. Not much there to tax.

Second, the IRS doesn't sue anyone. And they sure as hell don't call people like this.

India has an IT problem. Their universities churned out hundreds of thousands- no, millions of people with IT skills and now, they have no jobs. Over the last few years they've been finding highly lucrative ways to utilize those skills by finding ways to scare, scam and finagle dollars out of our collective wallets. In particular, they target the elderly, the immigrant, the low income, those who have little to no knowledge of how things work here. There have been highly publicized shutdowns of chop shops, but they crop up again because the money is just too easy. And America is a great big fat stupid target. We are uniquely ill-informed, and too lazy to educate ourselves. We fear The Man, and especially with our elderly, they want to do the Right Thing. They fear they forgot something and are eager to set things right. Sitting ducks.

I have been the target of their scams on Match.com. Over the years they have come after me using this IRS scam repeatedly. Anyone with even the most basic knowledge about the IRS understands that this is not how the IRS works. However, they've been very very good at convincing people to go find ways of paying them, and it's spread like wildfire. It's one hell of a cottage industry. In fact, it's a whole lifestyle in India. Better than getting a real job.

So out of boredom (I had half an hour to get home, hell, why not) I called their number back. Repeatedly. You can hear the chopshop in the background. All those friendly Indians in Mumbai calling all those suckers in America and sucking millions out of their bank accounts. Each time I'd get a new guy who claimed to be an IRS agent. Each time I scammed him back. Each time I led him down the garden path and then pinned him to the wall and let him have it.

Oh, they get sooooooo angry when you do that. They don't like it when you peel the layers back. They get vicious and ugly and call you nasty names. Scream obscenities and tell you they're going to bomb the White House or something. (I almost said "go right ahead, that's a GREAT idea, except that I rather like the building, and otherwise nice people might be visiting it).

You don't mess with America's military. I just report them to the FCC like I always do. And eventually another chop house will bite the dust.

What can you do?

As with most things, educate yourself. I posted information, photos and samples of a Match.com scam here on Linked In- and almost as soon as I did, someone wrote me to say that he was being scammed by the same guy on Match.com even as he was reading my post! This is how we help each other. Publicize this stuff. Report it to the Federal Communications folks. Takes half a minute. DO IT.

Care enough to let others know. Your post could save someone else their entire inheritance. Inform yourself, inform others. These scams work because they count on our not knowing any better.

I'm America's military. I may just be a veteran, but I believe in protecting my country against ALL foreign invaders. And I consider these scammers a foreign invasion. The best way to fight is shared information. Talk to your aging parents. Talk to those who work for and with you. The IRS DOES NOT SUE. People here from other countries who are working and paying taxes may not know this. They are prime targets.

Indian scammers are widespread, exceedingly smart, and coming up with new versions all the time. And it's always something digital. If you are online, if you have a phone, you are susceptible. If you get what you think may be a suspicious inquiry, phone call, email of ANY kind, talk to the Feds, the police, the FBI. Report it. Google it. Keeping quiet gives them power.

Then for the sheer delight of it, look up what one man recorded recorded himself doing to one of these scammers on YouTube. It's hilarious. Worth every minute: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CuVFcizDwqw

Especially if you're bored.