What I Did When I Lost My Job

It was a Thursday afternoon when I got the text.

“Can we meet for coffee tomorrow morning?”

My heart sank. I’ve come to realize over the last few years that I suffer from Impostor Syndrome. I’ve also come to recognize that most of the time, my paranoia is unfounded. Still, this text put me into a bit of an emotional spiral.

My wife and I talked and decided that I was being dramatic. So instead of skipping that night’s TEDx event, because I thought about that in my emotional state, I went to the event. I’m so glad I did.

The next morning, as I watched the emotion under the surface of a man I admired, called friend and worked with while he delivered the hard news that we were parting ways, I knew my world was changing.

20 minutes later in the car when I’d taken a few breaths, I called my wife and asked if she could stay home from work that day. I knew I needed her, and I knew the news wouldn’t exactly lead to a productive day at work for her. When she heard the news, the worst-case scenario had come true, she took the time off work (it was a Friday, so the bonus of a longer weekend was nice!) and we hung up.

What the hell am I going to do?

My next step was to pray. I’m a man of faith, so I took time to pray for strength, clarity, peace and protection for my family. Maybe for you it would be simply mindfulness or meditation. For me, it was talking directly to my Creator.

Next, I thought about the adage that “A person alone is a person at risk.” I called one of the pastors at my church and asked for prayer. He offered encouragement, a bit of advice and prayed with me.

At the same time, my bride went into prayer mode unbeknownst to me. I’m so grateful we share in our faith, and our first reaction is to pray.

As I drove home, my next reaction was the emotional one you’d expect. I cried a bit. I’m already a pretty emotional person, so crying isn’t exactly out of the question for me. But that release helped me to center myself as I prepared to face my partner and the prospect of “what’s next.”

Thankfully, my wife is a rock star. After we hugged, cried a little and prayed again, we got to work.

I made looking for work my full time job. Immediately.

I believe the steps I took when I lost my job are simple enough and universal, that anyone can take this potentially devastating and move forward with a plan. It doesn’t guarantee that you’ll find work the next day, but it helps focus you on the next chapter rather than looking back at what you’d just lost. The choices I made right away – transparency with my partner rather than hiding it, faith in a bigger plan rather than wallowing in my loss and reaching out to my network rather than going it alone – all helped to set us on the path to progress.

We set out that Friday to begin to find my next professional step. While I wanted to stay in my field and at the level I’d grown to, I understood that my responsibility to my wife and daughters was to provide. To me, this meant that my desire to grow professionally would be second to my financial obligation to my family. It’s what I signed up for, and I was prepared for this.

In fact, as I looked for work in my field, I made the conscious decision to also begin to prepare for “any work.” Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. While looking for marketing positions, I looked at options like driving for Uber, taking a CDL class to drive trucks or talk to my uncle about his family business. I knew, and I accepted, the possibility that I’d need to find paying, honest work out of my field to support my family. This gave me a peace I needed.

While I began to lay out my plan and take care of administrative things – who knew tying my personal podcast to my work email was a bad idea! – my wife started looking for jobs. She combed through websites like Indeed and GlassDoor, and listings in LinkedIn.

Our success is measured by our relationships

I turned my attention to my network. I called, messaged and texted people in my circles that might know someone or a company that could fit my skills and have a need for me. We spent that Friday working on finding me a new position like it was our job. By mid-morning I’d applied at two companies, refreshed my resume in a creative format and a basic format and talked with several friends and peers.

When the work day was done and our daughters were home, we sat them down to share the news (they’re young teenagers) and assure them that we had this. We shared our journey that day including our praying, as that’s a lesson I want to impart, and let them ask any questions. Transparency is the foundation of trust in our family. Once we finished, we were able to laugh and enjoy our family time. My lovely, caring and amazing wife even accidentally joked about the situation. I was being silly and “rapped,” to which she offhandedly told me not to quit my day job… I told her I couldn’t since I was fired that morning and we laughed. The lesson to my daughters: Find humor where you can or you’ll drive yourself crazy with worry.

The next day my bride looked over our budget – she’s the bookkeeper – and figured out just how we’d survive if I couldn’t find work. Pragmatism and a realistic outlook are her strengths. Dreaming is mine, so I took time to think and dream. I’m not convinced it was nearly as helpful as her activity, but it’s me.

Time to get to work

That first Monday I made it my mission to work on finding a job as my full-time work.

• I created a “hire Dan Moyle” page on my website
• My design skills and writing were the focus
• I recorded a video to showcase my multimedia skills
• I created a Facebook ad campaign to target anyone working at one of the companies I’d applied with on Friday
• This included a “hire me” Facebook business page (needed for the ad)
• I set up accounts with Indeed, Zip Recruiter
• I changed settings on LinkedIn to let recruiters know that I was available for job interviews
• I spoke with my friend Greg who recruits for a different industry
• Greg looked at my resumes and digital content for feedback
• Greg offered ideas, advice and encouragement

It's time to stay connected, not draw further away

The following day, Tuesday, I met with my friend John who’d gone through a similar experience. He lost his job four months prior. We had a great conversation, and I didn’t feel so alone. It’s hard to be “let go” from a company, especially when it’s your dream job. While my work doesn’t define me as a human, it’s a big part of who I am. Without that, I felt like a failure. John spoke life into me.

He also shared a genius idea that I never would have come up with myself. John suggested that I consider temp work as I looked for a permanent position. He’d faced job loss before in his line work, and each time he’d found his next position through temp work.

When I shared with John that I was struggling with my wife’s stress, he had a great suggestion. I knew that I needed to be a rock to her and show her that she was safe, and I’d take care of my family. Now was not the time to ask for her to nurture me. His suggestion was to go even further with my transparency and partnership with her. John told me to write down on an index card each day what I’d accomplish. Of course, we’re a digital couple so instead I emailed her. But sharing that list each day helped to focus me, add a layer of accountability and show my partner that I was serious about taking care of our family.

Seek advice - and listen

Another piece of valuable advice came from Greg, my friend who recruits. He suggested that I contact recruiting/staffing agencies to let them know I was looking for work. On this idea, I reached out to a couple of his suggestions on Wednesday. One of them reached out right away and set up a phone call with me the next day.

Thursday, I spoke with Lindsey, the recruiter. She had a client that she thought would fit perfectly on both sides. I sent her my resumes and creative collateral to share with the client. Funny enough, I’d applied for this job through one of the job sites. But her connection to the company made all the difference. She sent my information over that afternoon. That night, I already had an email from the VP of sales and marketing.

The best part of this message is that Mitch knew me, as we’d connected in the past. His company was in the running for a vendor relationship at a previous company for me. Despite not choosing his company, I’d made an impression on him. He’d followed my career a bit and knew my work. He was excited to connect.

Friday morning we talked. The conversation was easy, I asked a few questions, he asked some. I told Mitch I would need to speak with my wife. As he was traveling the next week and was anxious to talk again, he asked when that might be and if we could meet that afternoon for coffee and further discussion.

The next chapter for me

One week to the day where I met at a coffee place and lost my job, I met at the same café (different location) and had an informal job offer. What a difference a week makes.

Mitch asked if I’d be available Monday to meet his business partner Craig, tour the company and get to know the layout and mission. He told me an official offer letter would be there for me.

Monday morning, my offer letter was in my email first thing, I met with Craig and with the Human Resources Director for a few final questions, and I went home to once again talk with my partner in life.

Networking and serving others I do as part of who I am set me up to be able to reach out with an ask to my network.

That evening, the offer letter was signed and I was ready to start the next chapter.

I credit this week to few things.

What I've learned from losing my job

First and foremost, my faith. Whether it was a week, a month or a year, I knew in my heart that my faith would get me through it. My God isn’t a “wave the wand and fix everything” God. But He does provide.

Second, my partner. If you’re married or with a significant other, they’re your partner. Be transparent. If you’re that partner, be there for the person losing their job. It may not be easy (I’m sure my wife wasn’t taking this as well as she showed, but she was a rock star).

Additionally, my network. Leaning on my friends and professional peers was paramount to my sanity and well-being, as well as my next steps. Even though I didn’t find my next job directly through that network, they encouraged me, offered ideas and advice, and helped me focus.

Finally, my plan. I went into this situation with the idea that I’d find my next job and knowing that it might take some time. My mindset helped. My hope helped. My plan made it happen. Treating the job search like a job turned a potentially depressing week into a challenge I took on with gusto.

Bonus: Much of how this all turned out came from a bedrock of what I do every day. One of the biggest things I found in this situation is that the networking and serving others I do as part of who I am, set me up to be able to reach out with an ask to my network.

Networking often has a bad reputation. We think of it as an awkward cocktail party or business gathering where everyone exchanges business cards and tries to “get something” from you. I see networking as an opportunity to meet people I may be able to help. It’s a chance to give to my community (local and digital). I love to connect with people with the question, “How can I help?”

While knowing that my network may someday help me, I never go into it with that as my goal. The more I help and serve others, the better bedrock I lay for solid relationships. Without that, I’d have been sunk this week.

One final lesson: Encourage. Sometimes the only thing someone needs from you is the encouragement that they’re good enough, smart enough and valuable.

Resources:

• Build an engaging LinkedIn profile and keep it updated
• Social media isn’t just for venting. Share your activities, your “why” and connect with others.
• Facebook ads: You can target specific audiences on Facebook, including people at a company.
• Website: Have your own website where you can showcase your value to a company. You can also have a “hire me” page on this site when you need it.
• Other people: Get out of your own head and connect with others.

Epilogue

A few months into my new job, and I'm so grateful for where I landed. The work I'm doing, the people with whom I work and the environment in which I find myself have added up to a great next chapter.

This is the fourth major change in industry I've taken in my professional content journey in the past 16 years. I've come to realize I really enjoy the change and focusing on new-to-me industries.

Also, I've honestly struggled with this journey. This is the first time in my professional life I've been fired from a job. My journey has always been about moving on and moving up on my own terms. I've been fortunate. Being fired for the first time rocked my ego pretty hard. The impostor syndrome really kicked into high gear. So I talked to my bride and we thought it would be a good idea for me to talk to a professional.

Thankfully, we have a terrific counselor we see when needed, and I was able to talk with her. If you're facing a life-changing situation, struggling with self-doubt or depression, please don't do it alone. Talking with someone I trust and a professional has really helped.