What horses can teach us about leadership

I had a very insightful interview with Jude Jennison who spent seventeen years at IBM, a woman in a man's world, developing an outstanding reputation for managing client relationships. But after taking a year's leadership programme, she rethought her purpose. That led to her starting an executive coaching business that involved interaction with horses.

What does that have to do with executive coaching, you may ask? Read on to find out more.

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Jude has also written books on leadership, including?Leadership Beyond Measure , Leading through Uncertainty , ?and?Opus: The Hidden Dynamics of Team Performance.? She has become a genuine thought leader in her field, understanding the nuances of communication and their impact on relationships. Our chat unveiled insights that will be eye-opening to everyone as they apply to business and any relationship. Any leader aiming to better engage with their people, will learn much from Jude’s methodology.

Jude's IBM years

Jude joined IBM in the early 90s when women in tech were practically non-existent. She was one of a handful of women in an office of 1500 men. She recalls: "I was told, 'You'll never have a career as a woman; you're not technical'. I had a French degree when everyone else had a maths background. I was just different."?

Jude was placed on the usual training programme, focusing on technical details. But she was soon bored. "I asked to be taken to a client. They loved me because I was a people person, I had energy." That experience led to Jude being appointed as a Service Manager, the interface between client and organisation. It was a role relatively unheard of at the time.? ?

Jude admits she had no idea how to do many things she was asked to do, but it is how she developed. "That's what leadership is. It's about getting out of your comfort zone, and I did that for seventeen years, including having operational responsibility across Europe."

She consistently found her view of the world differed from her colleagues: "I join the dots between things people don't see. Yet I see them clearly and create a picture others don't see. They think I'm weird or dismiss me. Eventually, they realise the picture makes sense, but often, I am ahead of the curve."?

Despite a successful career at IBM, things were about to change.

The road to leadership coaching

Jude had two pivotal moments that made her reassess her work life. She went to an all-female conference in Europe with 500 women attending. A presenter talked about their business supporting a community in a remote village in the Philippines. "I was inspired," remembers Jude. "I wanted to do something that made a difference to people’s lives, so I trained as a coach. I coached colleagues at IBM for over three years."?

While the coaching path was set, Jude neglected her physical well-being. Working long hours, she was close to burnout. "I came off a flight about 9 pm one night. As I came through, I was stopped and asked where I'd flown from. I could not remember and said, 'Milan'." Only when the fellow passenger behind her said 'Munich' did she realise how bad things were getting.

Jude knew she needed a break and took a year's sabbatical. In that time, she completed a leadership programme that, she says, 'stripped me back to the core'. It forced her to think about who she was, what she stood for and what her purpose was.

When she completed her training, she realised there was so much to do in the world. She never returned to IBM, connecting with her purpose instead.

Why horses?

When Jude had finished the programmes, she was frightened of horses but wanted to overcome that fear. "I was thinking about leadership and how fear gets in the way. We all experience fear but either push through and get the thing done or avoid it." She explains those who push through don't resolve the issue. It is still there the next time they face that task or barrier. Jude wanted to sit with her fear and see what she could learn.

"I found a coach who worked with horses. Within five minutes of meeting him, I'd reframed fear into respect. I realised I needed to respect this 600kg beast, but it needed to respect me too. We had to work out how to be in a balanced relationship with each other, ensuring it wouldn't push me around, and I wouldn't let it."

Jude realised this was no different to working with an intimidating individual who shouts and swears in the office. By working through her fear, she was able to articulate who she was, what she stood for and create clear boundaries that allowed her to stand calmly in front of something or somebody who was not respecting those boundaries.

How Jude applies the learning

By working with horses, Jude demonstrates how to build a balanced relationship through open communication, both verbal and non-verbal. But the real learning, she says, comes from the visceral experience itself. "Horses respond to your non-verbal cues, not just body language, but how congruent you are. That means operating without ego and being authentic. Are we saying what we are really thinking or feeling? The horses see through inauthentic behaviour and refuse to engage."

Working with people is no different to working with horses.

Many operate behind a mask, but horses and people respond to you at the core. Sensing frustration is typical: "We first notice frustration in our bodies, but many have learnt to close that feeling down because we make emotions wrong." Jude expands: "It means we first sense our frustration when we feel cross. If a horse senses that, they'll either move away from you or get agitated. It's very visceral. People are the same, although they may not fully understand why. You must use the visceral experience to change your state quickly." This is what Jude calls 'The Hidden Dynamic'.?

The revelation that individuals must be aligned with their thoughts and feelings is akin to putting your leadership, communication, and teamwork under the microscope. But revealing what's going on, says Jude, makes you so much more effective.

Getting teams to share

Creating an openness between team members is an essential objective in Jude's coaching. Naturally, clients need the courage to expose themselves to their peers. "Whilst I am tasked with getting teams to share, they only need to share what they want to."

Sometimes, she asks how people made sense of something. They will respond, 'I don't know'. Jude then asks if they felt a shift, and invariably, the answer is yes. That's all that is needed because they know what changed and can apply it later in the workplace as well.

We discussed a team she coached who came into her facility exhausted from working flat out for months. She recounts an almost unbelievable tale: "When the team walked through the gates, all the horses lay down in the field. One of the team asked me if they were tired. I answered, 'I don't know. Are you?'"?

He said he was fine; it was typical of an organisational culture where everyone just pushed through. With resilience, another expected characteristic, nobody wanted to admit they were tired. Yet, one by one, people started to reveal their exhaustion. Once they had all acknowledged how they felt, the horses all stood up again.

It was a clear example of how exhausting wearing a mask can be and how a team can fulfil its potential by removing them and having a more honest conversation.

How the team use their learning

Jude believes people learn to wear masks, suppressing their emotions to meet their objectives. Many don't even know they are doing it, which is exhausting.

The team now has a process of checking in with each other before each meeting: "The idea is to understand how each of the team is feeling. It's not about explaining things in detail. It is as simple as saying, 'Mary is irritated', or 'John is tired'." It creates a greater openness and understanding, compassion for how people feel and a more effective team.

The Hidden Dynamics of Team performance

The ideas behind these varying levels of communication and the need for transparency and congruence led Jude to write her last book,?Opus: The Hidden Dynamics of Team Performance.?"Opus means work, a subject I'm passionate about. It's a huge part of everyone's life and should be work that makes them energised and joyful," she explains.

Jude believes we should all be able to thrive at work and when we do, we can make a difference in the world: "I truly believe business can solve the world's problems. If we lead consciously, we can do this. Work becomes more purposeful, which makes it more energising and joyful."

Thanks to those hidden dynamics, she knows working in a team can be both joyful and highly challenging. The coaching work incorporating horses aims to reveal those hidden dynamics and create conversations that can make all the difference.

Making assumptions

Conflict can have an impact on these hidden dynamics, says Jude. "If you've argued with somebody, you're more likely to make negative assumptions about them next time you meet. You will probably go on the defensive or, arguably worse, the offensive. We wear a mask, blame or criticise them, and yet these are all just stories we tell ourselves in our heads."

As she states, this thinking only damages our relationships and harms the purity of conversation. By becoming aware of these biases, we can be more open and communicate effectively, building stronger and more inclusive relationships.

Words of advice

Jude discusses the need to be open to any eventuality: "I thrive on uncertainty. I go into things without preconceptions or knowing the answers." In fact, her approach is to say, 'Here I am, here you are, what can we create together?'

Jude's attitude is if it works great; if not, notice it and try again. "Really, it's about being more human in the workplace. Then we can be more transparent and authentic and have many more revealing conversations that lead to great work."

That is a fine note to end on. My conversation with Jude opened my eyes to the power of open and honest conversation and the need to be in touch with your true self. Only by dropping the masks we carry and exposing ourselves to our family, friends and colleagues can we genuinely experience fruitful and joyful relationships. And such an approach results in leaders who can share their purpose and inspire their teams.

You can contact Jude Jennison via her website here

Opus: The Hidden Dynamics of Team Performance , is published by Practical Inspiration Publishing and is available from Amazon for ￡14.45.

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