What Holds You Back from Reaching Your Full Potential?

Do you feel like there is a gap between what you want in your life and what you have at this moment??

If there is a gap, do you know what is causing it and what to do about it?

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Do you have Clarity on your Goals?

Sometimes your goals can be quite vague and at times you don’t even know what you want. This is especially the case when you have gone through a significant change in your daily life. When the future feels uncertain, you may be unsure about which direction to take. Life can feel so confusing at this time and the water appears very muddy. Uncertainty is scary and we want to find our new direction as soon as possible.

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When you are in a stable situation, your mind can switch to automatic pilot. This is when the brain guides you to live habitually, based on your unconscious beliefs, with as little change as possible. Safety is in repeating the regular patterns and you are living without much conscious thought and with few ups and downs. Funnily enough, although it seems safe, you are often dissatisfied and bored after a time. Humans are built to develop and grow and you often don’t feel happy when you’re stagnating. Something seems to be missing.

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Achieving your goals is also affected by whether your conscious goals are aligned with your unconscious goals. If your conscious goals are not aligned, you will find yourself acting towards fulfilling your unconscious goals.

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What is Blocking You From Achieving Your Conscious Goals?

Generally speaking, your unconscious goals block you from reaching your conscious goals if these are not aligned.

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Your unconscious goals are determined by the environment in which you grew up and life events you have experienced as well as how you personally perceived these stimuli. Think of the following categories:

Family relationships, Culture, Economics, Gender, Geography and Spirituality.

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These factors and your perception of your experiences form your unconscious beliefs about yourself, others and the world at large. You have formed a blueprint based on the above and you see life through your own personal lens.

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An example: If you grew up believing that helping others is good, but that taking care of yourself is being selfish, you may find yourself unable to achieve your goals to lose weight or to live a healthier lifestyle. ?You may say that you have no time to plan your weekly menu or go to the gym. Further investigation reveals that your lack of time is largely related to helping others one way or another.??

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Your unconscious belief to not be selfish and help others is blocking you from achieving your self-care goal.

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How Can You Move On and Achieve Your Conscious Goals?

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The first step is to make sure you are clear on your conscious goals. What do you really want out of your life? Ask what each of your goals will bring you. Do you feel a big YES when you imagine achieving it?

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Sometimes your conscious goals are actually formed to satisfy an unconscious goal. Conscious goal: I want to earn lots of money. Unconscious goal: I want my dad to be proud of me, and I believe that by earning lots of money, I will make him proud of me.

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You need to work on revealing your unconscious goals too. Discovering what your current blueprint is will help to bring unconscious beliefs into consciousness.

Some example questions:

What did my culture and family teach me about x, y and z?

What do I believe about money?

Do I believe I deserve to be successful and live an abundant lifestyle?

Do I trust others and the world?

Do I believe that resources are scarce and that I have to fight to get a piece of the pie?

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Once you have a clearer picture of what your learned beliefs and values are, you can see whether they are still serving you or not.

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One great tool to help you identify your unconscious goals is to look at your actual results at this moment.

Example: From the example above, say one conscious goal is to lose 10 kgs. The actual results show an increase of 2kgs. The unconscious goal is to gain weight. The underlying belief is that taking care of myself is selfish. To prove I’m not selfish (and therefore I’ll be accepted in the group), I should put on weight and not lose it.

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You can write down a story about how to gain 2kgs and not lose 10kgs (understanding the gap):

Example: If you want to gain 2kgs instead of losing 10kgs, make sure you:

1.????? Take on more voluntary work at the charity shop

2.????? Always have time to listen to Aunty Sue’s complaints about her husband

3.????? Avoid driving past the gym so as not to feel guilty that you’ve still not signed up

4.????? Make sure that you don’t have a meal plan and buy something quick at the corner store

5.????? Ensure that you never have fresh fruit or vegetables in the home

6.????? Be too busy helping others to take up Judith’s offer to go to yoga together

7.????? ….etc.

This helps you to really see how your actions are creating the manifestation of your unconscious goals.

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Conclusion

If you notice that you’re not achieving your goals, take time to ensure that you are clear about what they are and that they really light you up.

Notice what your unconscious goals and beliefs are. Look at the actual results in your life to help you identify the underlying beliefs and goals.

Be honest about your underlying beliefs and values and bring the unconscious into consciousness.

Write down your stories based on your actual results to see how you are manifesting your unconscious beliefs and goals.

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Once the unconscious beliefs and goals move into your consciousness, you have better understanding and are able to make different choices.

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If you would like help to explore any of the above elements, contact me for a chat.