What The Hell Was I Thinking....

Looking back now, it’s hard not to cringe

My eyelids jolted open as I woke up... the alarm hadn’t gone off yet... Was the morning after show-day in Manilla (2016), meaning photoshoot time!

The photographer and I got to local Anytime Fitness Makati (Manilla) early to avoid crowds. I got into my ‘short-shorts’ (which never worn since ) and sprayed extra virgin olive oil all over my body

45 mins of flexing around the gym… can’t imagine what was going through the local's minds

It felt like the ‘most’ important thing in my life. That I had to show everyone how amazing and shredded I was… secretly crossing m fingers I’d be a #Insta-fitspirational model .

FYI - I was hangry all day! low energy and moody with the sex drive of a 15-year-old de-sexed Labrador...

Yes, the photographer did a bloody amazing job… But I wasn’t even happy with myself in the shots. I remember thinking, “Damn… I’m not big enough… not as shredded as this other #insta-guy” .

About a year later… it finally hit me that, no-one cares about photos... and nor did I, really... I don’t regret it, but trying to be a show-pony didn't really help anyone.

And trying to maintain that leanness is just...silly, unsustainable and harmful to the body and long term health.

The only person that should give a crap about my body and health is 'me'.

Thankfully, I learnt how to live normally and comfortably at 13-15% body fat, enjoy food, train well and maintain it without sacrifice (with the testes fully functioning )... So yuh, probs won't ever do that again.

With that said... all that matters is, YOU are happy with YOURSELF… for Yourself... for the sake of yourself.

But you also gotta be honest too... because if ‘You’ are not happy with 'You’... Well, you don’t need any permission to make a change