What the heck is Self-Sabotage?

Hello, my name is Tanya Sturges, and I am the world's only self-sabotage coach specialising in workplace trauma.

But what the heck am I talking about when I go on about self-sabotage anyway?

Keep reading to find out more…

Self-sabotage isn’t just about drinking too much alcohol or eating the wrong foods when you are on a diet. Self-sabotage happens when you engage in thoughts, habits or behaviours that directly conflict with your goals and desires.

But the problem with self-sabotage is we often don’t realise we are doing it because we can’t see what’s right in front of us. ??????

That’s where I come in. I help my clients untangle the stuff in their heads so they can see things clearer.

Self-sabotage in the workplace might look like:-

?? Being overly critical of yourself

?? Rejecting praise and focusing on the negatives when provided with feedback

?? Not asking for help when you need it

?? Saying yes when you want, or need, to say NO

?? Failing to set boundaries with colleagues, family, and friends.

?? Putting everyone else before yourself, even if it means sacrificing your own needs

?? Neglecting your self-care

?? Saying you’re “fine” when you are not

?? Denying to yourself who you truly are

?? Accepting and making excuses for people who behave badly towards you

?? Procrastinating on important tasks

?? Setting yourself unrealistic targets

?? Blaming yourself for things that are not your fault

?? Failing to stand up for yourself or to put forward your views

?? Dwelling on the past

?? Ruminating over your mistakes

?? Seeking revenge or to hurt others for the harm they have caused you

This is not an exhaustive list, but, basically, any act that directly conflicts with what you want to be doing is self-sabotaging.?

It’s also important to note that self-sabotage is different for everyone. What might be sabotaging for one person might not be for another….For example, I would expect a brain surgeon ?? to be a perfectionist, but for many of us, perfectionism might hold us back from completing tasks and getting things done!

What causes self-sabotage?

“Why, oh why would I inflict such harm on myself”, I hear you ask. Well, the truth is, we are not trying to harm ourselves. Quite often, it’s the opposite.?

Self-sabotage is often a form of self-protection, usually in response to something that has happened to us in the past, such as a workplace trauma. It’s your subconscious mind’s way of protecting you from that perceived harm reoccurring, and it’s your mind’s way of keeping you safe from perceived hurt, rejection, humiliation, fear, shame and guilt. Even if the risk of harm is not real, if your subconscious mind perceives it as harmful, it will try and protect you from it.

As well as being a form of self-protection. Self-sabotage can also be caused by low self-esteem, low self-confidence, low self-worth and feelings of inadequacy. For example, if we do not feel deserving of something, our subconscious mind might self-sabotage to prevent us from receiving it.

And finally, self-sabotage can be triggered by an unfulfilled need, such as the need to be liked or feel in control. For example, people-pleasing behaviours are often driven by the need to be liked and the fear of rejection.

Fascinating huh?

So what can you do about it?

Overcoming self-sabotage is not just about controlling your impulses and changing your habits, behaviours and thoughts; it’s about identifying and overcoming the underlying cause or trigger. Because once you’ve identified the cause or trigger, you can then look to break the cycle.

In doing so, you’ll set yourself free from what is holding you back ??

AND

You’ll regain your power ??

Next steps

So, could self-sabotage be what is holding you back from being true to the real you and from achieving your goals and desires?

If so, you’ll want to sign up for my Autumn Waiting List to be notified when my new Autumn offers are available, including my 1:1 coaching programmes and new price plans!

In the meantime, check out the case studies below to learn more about how I can help you quit sabotaging your potential at work so you can excel in your career.?

Jane - https://bit.ly/casestudyjane

Lucy - https://bit.ly/casestudylucy

Mia - https://bit.ly/casestudymia

Amy - https://bit.ly/casestudyforamy

More about me

Hello, my name is Tanya Sturges, and I am a fully qualified trauma-informed coach specialising in workplace trauma and self-sabotage.

I trained with the Animas Centre for Coaching, the world’s leading school of Transformational Coaching, accredited by the globally recognised International Coach Federation (ICF). I’ve also studied psychology at degree level, and I am a certified Breathwork Teacher.

With over 5 years professional coaching experience, you can be confident that I’ve got the skills, knowledge and expertise to help you.

Before coaching, I worked in corporate in HR, recruitment & leadership roles for 15 years, giving me a vast understanding of people and how organisations work.

I offer a variety of 1:1 coaching programmes. All coaching sessions take place online, giving me the flexibility to work with clients from all over the world.

I have many tools in my coaching toolbox, including traditional talking-based coaching methods, person-centred therapy, cognitive behavioural coaching, and breathwork techniques.

My approach is focused on both talking about stuff and taking action and getting results. Think 50% mindset, 50% strategy.

Past clients of mine have gone on to get promoted, change careers, set up their profitable businesses and double their salaries, BUT most importantly, they all feel better about themselves; believe in themselves again and feel less stressed, anxious and worried after working with me.

Outside of coaching, I’m a 40-something, post-menopausal cat mum who thrives on family time and enjoying the sun.?

Next Time

Thank you for reading. In my next newsletter I'll be sharing more about the different types of self-sabotage and how they can impact upon you in the workplace.

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And don't forget to sign up to my Autumn Waiting List to be notified when my new 1:1 coaching offers drop!