What in the heck was that all about?

If you had asked me two years ago what the next two years would hold, my reply would have been confident and detailed as I outlined my plans. I loved the company I worked for, was excited about the people and products I worked with, and was learning more about the industry and our customer needs. My boss, the owner of the company had blessed me with an opportunity to participate in a key player advisory group, where I was learning more about integrating faith, life, and business. I felt alive and fulfilled in ways I had never dreamed, and was excited to help the business I worked for grow as I developed as a leader.

And then something unexpected happened. It wasn't a moral failure, incompatible values, or any animosity from either side, but it became clear that my vision was misaligned with that of the organization I worked for. I loved the work environment, the business, the industry, the people, and had built relationships with internal and external stakeholders that I didn't want to lose. But try as I might, the ongoing friction built up to the point that it needed to be addressed, and that meant finding uncomfortable clarity about me not being the right person for this company. I found myself planning an exit from a place I didn't want to leave.

The unknowns that followed were scary. I had a clear vision about how the operations and supply chain of a company could be different, but couldn't find the right organization to step into a role leading or even contributing to operating this way. I tried changing myself to fit the opportunities I found, but was unable to convince anyone that I was the right person for their immediate hiring needs. As strange as it seemed to someone like me who never wanted to build my own company, that started to seem like the best path forward.

I created For Influence, purchased a domain, and set out to figure out how my new company could come alongside other businesses to help solve this issues created by the typical ways of operating. As I tried to figure this out, still hoping to be rescued from this fuzzy business endeavor by a job offer, I began to write and post blogs and articles about how the culture of a supply chain and external relationships is affected by how we operate. Regardless of the what, the why and how remained the things that differentiated the best successes from the biggest headaches. And the rescue from this messy road I was heading down never came.

What did come was an opportunity to do some work for a client that would replace my salary that was coming to an end as my replacement got up to speed, so this still half-baked business plan was now holding all my weight as I prayed it could float. And it did. Until the next month a pandemic brought my kids home from school, ended most of my business development and networking, and put me on unemployment while trying to figure out how to pivot this thing that had never gotten off the ground.

The articles I had written were starting to add up to a significant amount of original writing, and I had sketched out an outline of a book, what I thought might be a manual of sorts for anyone wanting to operate differently. I had never written a book, and wasn't sure who would be interested in this book, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I had a message that needed to get out, and no other way in the middle of a pandemic to reach anyone. It took longer than I expected, and the unemployment came to an end before I found any clients or job opportunities.

When I set August 10th as the release date for Operate Differently, it was mostly to keep me from giving up after this much effort. I had no idea how to get my awful drafts onto a Kindle or printed in a paperback, and still little hope that this finish line would lead to anything material. Over a year without paying work has a way of assuring a person that they have no value, or at least what I was working on wasn't worth anything to anyone. At least not enough for them to pay me for it!

One of the first ideas I had before the pandemic hit was that For Influence could gather leaders together to hold each other accountable to defining and living out our organizational values in the way we operate our businesses. Interestingly enough, my desire to fill the void left by not being in a key player group became a passion for getting operational leaders into communities where they can be real and authentic about the realities of business pressures and the obstacles to doing the most right thing. I firmly believe it is impossible to sustain this kind of counter-cultural for long without having support around you, regardless of a leader's skill or passion for their core values.

For a time it looked like an opportunity to do exactly that with another organization might work out just as I finished the book, and hopefully it still could happen at some point in the future. But I had envisioned completing a book explaining what it means to operate differently, creating some practical tools to help facilitate this in organizations, and having a community of like-minded people to help navigate the business challenges. And then, just as everything looked to be coming together, the financial reality of not having any income or revenue caught up with me. I didn't have time to wait for everything to align.

I am immensely grateful that someone I met connected me to a friend who had an immediate hiring need, and in just four weeks I connected with him, learned about the business, and accepted a job offer to come work with him. Providentially, I start next Monday after submitting my final book manuscript today. The day the book comes out, I will be operating in a very different capacity than I had expected just one month ago! And ionically, after four months in limbo, the unemployment issue that created financial pressure just resolved today.

As I reflect on the last two years and even the last few weeks, I can't help but wonder if I was following a calling or wandering down a detour. There is a nagging sense of wondering what all that was for if I never succeeded with the business I created, and now am giving up. Setting down a dream that I never wanted still feels a bit disappointing, wondering if I failed or perhaps will be able to continue that mission and building on that work at some point in the future. As excited as I am about the opportunity before me next week, I really wish I could make sense of the path that led to this point.

The one thing I know is that God provided the income my family needs in a way I never expected at exactly the right time. It feels a bit strange to be releasing a book I never planned to write at the same time as setting aside a business I never intended to start to work in a field that was never on my radar until last month. The one thought that sticks with me is this was God's plan all along, and even when it doesn't make sense to me, I can trust His plan for my life. Though I feel a bit bewildered and don't fully understand the last two years leading up to this moment, I still choose to believe that the future is bright!

Though I'll be operating differently by the time Operate Differently is available, I'd still love for you to check it out and share your feedback, questions, comments, or insights with me!