What Have I Learned?
Jack Crabtree
Helping others be their best - Consultant - Writer - Project Manager - Human
This is the 50th newsletter I have shared on LinkedIn
The 56th story I’ve posted on Medium
And the 60th formal dissemination of what started as the Truth of the Day
I don’t share those figures in an attempt to feign expertise or lucrative insight
Rather, an attempt to ask myself
What have I really learned?
What do I see differently?
Where do I want this to go?
What’s changed?
What do I still not know?
Without coincidence, questions like these are what led to writing in the first place
This started as an experiment of sorts
I’ve kept journals, notebooks, and far too many Word documents to keep track of
Trying to get thoughts out of my head, seeking a better understanding of life
What am I doing here?
What really matters??
Where do I want to go?
What might I try differently?
Why am I here?
Deep, existential questions
The more I asked, the more I wondered, the more I thought
For a while, I found myself conflicted on what to do with all of this
Part of me felt like the right thing to do is to share it
Perhaps it could help someone trying to navigate through their own thoughts and experiences
The other side of me felt too embarrassed
To put myself out there
To share my work
To accept the vulnerability that comes with being open
It’s easier to judge the creations of others, than to create ourselves
Who I am, to ask these questions??
Who I am, to share these thoughts??
Who I am, to have something to say??
I have experienced extreme highs and lows in life
That doesn’t make me special?
To a varying degree, we all have our ups and downs, our peaks and our valleys
If we are willing to share that with others, our internal experiences create external connection
There have been times when I woke up thinking everyday was bound to be the best day of my life
There have been extended periods where I have battled depression, suicidal thoughts, and the constant mental refrain of “I don’t want to be here”
I don’t share this out of desire for praise or pity, but rather perspective
The paradigms through which I see life and myself continue to change, transform, and evolve
Throughout it all, I have had a desire to document this process, this journey
To leave behind some record of my own experience
How I was feeling, what I was seeing, and how I thought about things
More than anything, these journals are something I want to leave behind
A window into how I saw the world
How I experienced it
How my own perspective shifted
That desire began to push me to challenge the fear that came with sharing my thoughts
But it wasn’t enough
What was the tipping point??
Not merely the idea of leaving some history of myself behind
But the idea that someone else could benefit from it
That in reading about Jack’s perspectives, others may see their own lives differently
To offer a reminder that you can go from seeing a glass half-empty, to seeing the beauty of the glass itself
No one accomplishes anything alone
We were each brought into this world by actions outside of our own
This wisdom, experience, and perspective left by others, continues to shape my life paradigm?
For that, I will forever be grateful
To share in wealth of knowledge, that man has left behind
Is in itself a blessing
To contribute my own understanding, is walk on the shoulders on giants
We tend to forget
We are all on the same team
We are all human beings, trying to navigate through this journey we call life
No one knows how the story will play out
But there is one thing I know
To work, to live, and to act in order to serve the greater whole, is the greatest privilege we will ever know
To leave behind all we touch, in a better place than we found it
To contribute to a collective purpose
That is what is most important
That is what I have learned
As I began this draft, my plan was to share some lessons, insights, and themes I’ve picked up
Those seem trivial compared to what really matters
I see now that this series is not truly a newsletter
But rather a series of my journal entries
(I will save my extended takeaways for a future entry)
Best to not to water down the clarity of this thought
What did I really learn?
That to serve others is our greatest privilege
And that this journey is just getting started