What If Happiness Was Never Meant to Be Earned?

This video and article happened before I received a message from a friend mentioning a conversation happened 2 decades ago in a 5-star hotel in Mumbai.

Back in that moment in time,

She asked me, “Are you happy now?”

I can’t say I remember this conversation but her message brought me back to who I was.

I wouldn’t have answered this question.

It would have been too painful to be honest and too melancholy to lie. I was not mature enough to acknowledge myself either way.

Here I am today, sharing my take on a happiness no one and nothing can steal away from me or from you. From anyone. Really.

Before we go into the stories and insights,

?? What’s happiness to you?

?? What’s your relationship with happiness?

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The nag of the mind and flash backs

On this particularly ordinary morning, as I stood in my kitchen making a smoothie, I stared at the swirl in the glass jar, listened to the monotone mechanic sound,

A thought popped in,

“Now, it’s 5 mins gone.”

The mind which is addicted to chasing efficiency, productivity in a very narrow definition wouldn’t rest.

There was a time when I outsourced nearly everything that is not in my job description – laundry, house cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping, shopping.

Life was so streamlined.

My days were structured around efficiency and optimization to have maximum time in the office.

Life is work and I tried to squeeze some other flavors into it so I felt a sense of diversity; hence, gym, manicure, hairdo, learning a new language, getting a new certificate… ceaseless chase of NEW.

I was not not happy.

I wouldn’t be able to answer unapologetically that I was happy.

Life had no layers.

Exciting, for sure.

Happy? I was at the mercy of things – projects, colleagues, holidays, pay raises…

When I reached my 10-year career goal being the leader of multiple departments in one of the biggest and most versatile markets with one of the most renowned luxury brands and I was not joyous,

Oh yes, super excited. I even announced it on my social media.

The excitement subsidized in 3 days.

I was not happy or joyous. It’s… just one more thing I got.

I wondered what’s life really about on my sofa.

Why I couldn’t stop?

Oh, I wanted to stop. I was exhausted. I had secretly looked for that holy grail called, “feeling set” for my whole life.

Connecting with my WHY

When I left corporate career, one of my intentions was to experience the layers of life, all sides of it.

I made a point of doing my own laundry, planning my own work out, cleaning my own house and all.

Not that I knew this for sure would give me something but I gotta start somewhere.

Somewhere I haven’t looked.

At first, I resisted, judging myself for wasting time, feeling frustrated at how these “little” things accumulated into hours.

I would chastise myself,

“Am I being productive enough? Am I using my time wisely?”

But then, I asked myself – what is productivity, really?

If I had been chasing efficiency, constantly seeking the next thing to do, then why did I leave corporate life in the first place?

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The sound of the juicer, nothing else.

Standing there, in front of my juicer, I paused.

I watched the blade spin, the liquid swirl downward in a tiny vortex.

I brought my awareness and attention to my breaths.

The sound of the machine,

the cool air against my skin,

the quietness and bird-singing of the morning;

They held a space of incredible stillness – no judgement, only presence.

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THIS is happiness.

THIS is happiness.

THIS IS HAPPINESS.

Not in the grand achievements or in waiting for external validations.

Not in accumulating milestones or ticking off a to-do list.

Happiness is in the care I pour into my body,

in the simple act of peeling an apple, heating up soy milk, adding sesame powder.

It is in the presence I bring to each action, the love expressed through tending to myself.

The sound of the juicer became the sound of love.

The swirl of liquid, an expression of devotion.

The morning air, a silent embrace.

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We all search for happiness, whether we admit it or not.

We believe that if we have more money, we can go on a trip, and then we’ll be happy.

If we land the right job, receive the recognition, feel seen in our relationship, then we’ll be happy.

Even in the smallest things, like catching green lights while driving, there is an underlying pursuit of happiness.

Yet, when we place happiness on external conditions, we give away our power.

Life, by its nature, is unpredictable. There is no real control over it.

Some days, we won’t be able to squeeze in extra five minutes of work.

Some days, we won’t be able to cook for ourselves.

Are we happy then?

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I am offering a new perspective.

?? What if happiness is not about achieving, but about feeling?

?? Not about seeking, but about sinking – into the depth of each moment, however ordinary.

If we allow happiness to be the depth to which we can feel, then even sadness, grief, or anger become invitations to go deeper… into happiness.

When sorrow arises, what happens if we lean into it, peeling back its layers instead of resisting?

What if anger is simply a doorway to something tender beneath it?

If we allow ourselves to be with what is, instead of fighting against it, then happiness is no longer something we chase but something we embody – an identity we wear in every moment, in every breath.

If happiness is our identity, what new possibilities might emerge for us?

What shifts in our world when we stop outsourcing joy and start reclaiming it in the simplest of ways?

This morning, my juicer reminded me of something profound.

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Be love, and be loved.

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Oh, and by all means, I will be your most passionate cheer leader if you ever decide to dream big, play big, achieve big.

This time around, you will be playing in the game on your own terms!

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? What does happiness feel like for you? ?

Is it in the quiet moments, the simple rituals, the pauses in between? Or have you been chasing it in places that never quite hold it?

I invite you to reflect – what shifts when happiness is no longer something to attain, but something to embody?

Hit Reply. Share your happiness.

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?? If you feel someone in your circle needs to read this, FORWARD. REPOST. SHARE the happiness.

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Hi, I am Shuang-Min.