What Happens to You is not Your Choice - Your Response Is

Sometimes, things happen that make us feel a wide range of negative emotions, from anger and frustration to despair and depression. We can't always change what happens to us, but we can choose what to do with it; always.

Read the below story, to see what I mean - or not; after all, it is your choice.

The True Story

On my way back from Fiege Düsseldorf to Vienna, as I was about to get on the plane, a friendly flight attendant approached me and said: "We have assigned you a new seat. It's on the wings, on the window side."

"What!? How could this be? I have paid for my seat reservation. Because of my knee problem, I must sit in the aisle seat. And I hate sitting on the wings -…."

I felt a pinch in my stomach, my throat stiffened, and my heartbeat rose. I heard a voice: "How dare you change my seat!? This is bad! I don't like it. Why me? What about my knee? Poor me."?

I was angry, frustrated, and sad at the same time.

Knowing that I was being hijacked by my saboteurs (inner voices that rooted in fear and get triggered through external stimulus and have unique names like: Judge, Hyper-vigilant, and Victim), I quickly started rubbing my fingertips (A technique call PQ Rep that activates parts of right brain and leads to generation of positive hormones like serotonin) to get focused.

Relaxed my throat, looked gently into her eyes, and said: "Oh my goodness! I might need your help then."

I explained my health situation and asked her if she could find another seat for me. I finished my request by saying," And if you can't manage it for me, I thank you anyway—just for listening to me."

You should have seen the surprise on her face—priceless! I think this was the first time that someone, after being forced to change their seat, had talked to her so calmly.

In the next five minutes, she did everything imaginable: played with the seat planner, talked with several of her colleagues, and so on—all without success.

With sincere sadness dripping from her eyes, she approached me and said: "I'm so sorry. I can't do anything. Perhaps you can ask the flight attendants to change your seat."

Her calm being and gentle voice touched my heart:?

“Danke, dass Sie Ihr Bestes getan haben, um mir zu helfen! Which means: Thank you for doing your best to help me out!"

I sat on what I call my "destiny seat" while all my attempts to get the support of the flight attendant were fruitless. Ignored by the stewardess, sitting at the window, on the wings, cramped between the wall and the next passenger, with a painful knee, I couldn't help but think:?

"What are some hidden gifts in this event? What would have happened had I sat in my original place? Was it just a random happening?"

The Hidden Gifts

Perhaps, the hidden gifts were not so hidden after all. Perhaps the gift was the gift of practicing my choices: to choose upset, anger and frustration or to choose calmness, compassion, and persistence. Whichever the gift, I'm pretty sure that this experience will make a more resilient, and more compassionate person.

It is your turn...

Think about all the so-called "bad" things that might happen in someone's life:

• A delayed flight.
• An unexpected change of your reserved seat.
• A credit request that gets rejected.
• An emotionless rejection letter from the 99th job that you've applied to.?
• A new career that didn't turn out the way you expected.
• A venture that burned all your savings.?
• A death in the family that hit you hard.
• An unexpected critical health issue, like a tumor or broken spine.
• A house project that was paused due to a financial crisis.
• ...

How would you respond to the above situations?

What could be some gifts in the above happenings?