What happens when you need to step back from leading others in order to lead yourself?

“When you say ‘yes’ to others makes sure you are not saying ‘no’ to yourself.”

-???????Paulo Coelho

Leading a team, regardless of size, is not easy. When you care passionately about the people around you, leading them is an honor and a tremendous emotional investment. As a leader, it’s here that the delicate balance of caring for others and caring for myself has tipped out of equilibrium: I’ve given too much to others and left too little for myself.

And so begins an uncharted phase of my leadership journey, where I am taking the time to lead myself with the same compassion, curiosity, and empathy I extend to my team. I’m focusing on doing this by taking a step back from leading others, for the moment.

I’ll be honest: it feels scary, unsettling, and unnerving to make myself the center of my attention. It feels selfish to prioritize what I need.

And it’s opening my eyes to the belief I held that I am only a good leader if everyone else’s needs are met before my own. The past few months have made it crystal clear to me just how damaging that belief is.

I’m consciously, albeit uncomfortably, taking the time to ask myself what I need in each situation, and working on being courageous enough to honor it. Right now, what I need most is to focus my energy inward. It means saying yes only to things that are a resounding full body YES, and being ok saying no to everything else. It means stepping away from leading my teams, for a time, to recalibrate the scale of caring for others and myself, back into a nurturing balance where both can thrive.

As a leader, how are you ensuring your balance of serving others and serving yourself stays in a healthy balance?

“Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean me first, it means me too.”??- L.K Knost