What happens when you ask 200 people for a recommendation?

There's only so many times you can write about how amazing you are before others (and yourself) stop believing it, particularly when there is a pandemic raging out there and people are already bombarded with so many messages.

It was late September 2020, the one year anniversary of my little startup business (Shiageto Consulting), and I decided that I needed a supplementary marketing strategy to go with my blogs, vlogs, articles, sharing of content and such to drum up new business. It was then that I was reminded of a quote from Mark Zuckerberg that echoed with research I'd been reading:

"People influence people. Nothing influences people more than a recommendation from a trusted friend. A trusted referral influences people more than the best broadcast message. A trusted referral is the Holy Grail of advertising"

With this resonating in my mind, I decided it was time to ask my LinkedIn network for recommendations. I literally emailed everyone that I had substantially worked with in the preceding 3 years with a simple request: "Would you please write a recommendation on LinkedIn for me; it can be about any aspect of our work together? Thanks!"

I thought, this would be a great way to get a few endorsements plus reconnecting with my network and hearing some nice things about me on the way. Little did I know that I was also accidentally unleashing a fascinating experiment into human behaviours.

So, what happened?

Having crafted 200 individual messages and sent them (ok, there may have been a bit of cut and paste), I sat back and waited for the responses to roll in. By the end of the day I had my first 2 recommendations and I thought I was flying but then over the next few weeks new patterns began to emerge...

Basically, I found that people fell into one of 6 categories:

1. They didn't reply - a staggering 40% just never replied to the message. My paranoia went into overdrive as to why that may be the case; maybe they didn't log into LinkedIn, maybe they didn't like me, maybe they missed the message... my mind raced. I even contacted a few but still no response and there were even some that replied to me on other topics but just continued to act as though I had never sent a message about a recommendation. So strange!
2. They replied saying they would provide a recommendation but then nothing - this was a whopping 25% of folk. This group confused me even more, they took the opportunity to reply, said they would and then went quiet. Similar to the first group, there were several on this group that continued to interact with me on other topics but no recommendation ever turned up (even with a prompt :o ).
3. They wrote a recommendation with no further interactions - this 15% were my fave group. No questions asked, just a really nice recommendation that made me feel all warm and fuzzy :)
4. They replied saying they were happy to provide a recommendation but could I draft it - Now, I don't mind writing my own review but I didn't expect 10% of folk to ask me to do this (I was hoping for something personal after all). I get it though, people are busy or they don't know what to write so a little first draft never hurt (although in a few cases this was the final draft), so a couple of ghost written recommendations appear and I'm just grateful they said yes.
5. They replied asking for more info - this 9% seemed hesitant to pen anything without more direction. For most this was so that they could tailor their recommendation to best suit what I needed but in the case of others it was so they could assess whether they wanted to proceed.
6. They replied saying they wouldn't be providing a recommendation - in this final, but small, group of 1%, I actually got a nice response (in all cases very long responses). Each time the sender took great lengths to explain why they wouldn't be providing me with a reference. In one case it was because it was against company policy apparently, in another it was against their own personal policy and in a third it's because they didn't want to be shown to be showing favouritism. As weird as this group were (in one case I know the person has provided recommendations before), I actually preferred these to those who just ignored me completely.

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't setting out to conduct an experiment when I started this but it turned out to be a fascinating insight nevertheless. These ratios may change a little over the next few weeks as a few of those no shows prove to be merely slow replies and I get a few more recommendations pop up but I generally find these ratios apply in most aspects of my interactions with folk across different platforms.

It doesn't matter what the topic is; there will always be those that ignore you all the time, those that ignore you just on certain topics, those that are massive proponents and even those that are against you. Some will be slow to reply, some will be quick. Some will ask for further clarification and others will need none. I may try to guess which camp each individual falls into but the important thing is I never judge each individual (there are numerous reasons why they might not be able to respond this time); I have faith I will get recommendations at the end of the day.

Most importantly I have 75 shiny new recommendations that will help my business immensely. Not only that but this exercise has allowed me to reconnect with a whole bunch of folk that I've not spoken to in a while (I've jumped on zoom calls, had long Whatsapp messages and plenty more interactions that I wouldn't have had otherwise).

So, the long and the short of it is that I will be asking for more recommendations and such in the year ahead. Watch this space as I may be asking you next! Which group do you think you would fall into? How would you respond?

Faris

Faris is the Founder and CEO of Shiageto Consulting, a strategy consultancy focusing on IQ, EQ and FQ. Shiageto helps organisations improve their effectiveness through emotionally intelligent facilitation and training. Contact Faris to learn more