Management Lessons that every home is learning post the COVID 19 …

What happens when Mother's day & Woman's day stretches forever and feels like Ground Hog Day ?

What many homes have learnt across the world … is a window to the boring, tedious world of women, domesticity and a lesson in humility.

The virus may be invisible, but it has made a lot of things visible … to many with no place to hide.

When the home and work lives fuse … many men and children are beginning to understand … and develop the eyes to see…

• That running a home is a 24/7 thankless task. With, or without help.
• What men and children look for encouragement or praise every day is something that mom did without, every single day
• That meals do not cook themselves, dishes do not wash themselves, clothes do not wash themselves nor get put away, that dust does not clean itself, that toilets do not sanitize themselves, that the garbage does not put itself out, and food does not miraculously appear in the fridge … that life is an endless cycle of maintenance which when money cannot buy those services or get outsourced … still remains to be done. Every day. All the time. And, till now was not fully their job but taken care by the unpaid mother or the lady of the house or simply someone invisible but paid for... That a click on a website or money in the bank buys partial immunity or a reduction of guilt for low emotional or physical contribution in a home but in reality, is just a convenient escape from pulling one’s weight.
• That every house has a blue print to make it a home and only one person knows it, and no one has bothered till now to learn it or felt the need to.
• The weight of running a home earlier borne by women feels heavier and heavier even when divided by all in the house, as each day progresses. How did women manage it alone all along?
• That running a home is boring at most times. And, needs continuous self-motivation to stay the course. To do it day after day without ceasing till the end of life is an unbearable burden if one gender has to do it all along. It is like being in one role, office, company with no change till one died.
• And, that it is easier for a woman to be in a man’s world than for a man to be in a woman’s world as it is perceived …        
• That a woman’s work or what was forced as her lot is as important as a man’s work and less rewarding. And, women who juggle demanding careers along with running a home need double the understanding and support and not less. 
• That gender roles that were assumed to be convenient to both sexes are not in reality very fair to women. And, many men are now realizing why women do not mind entering the world of men and love excelling at careers, but most men only reluctantly taken on the roles women have played all along as carers. Until now. When, the shift in homes across the world with a Work From Home Culture is forcing a new change. That the sacrifice of time, self, energy, and thankless work is much, much higher in the case of women when it comes to running a home.
• Most homes have no training in working as a team, using skills or resources wisely. And, some of the principles of a workplace can be applied to a home
• Most homes are not wired to blend and balance individual needs to the common collective. Team building can and should begin at home.
• Cross-functional stints, multi-tasking, upskilling, resource management, time management, role reversals, gender diversity etc…, need first to be practiced at home. These are not mere work terms but working terms that need to find a place in a work from home atmosphere...
• There are no promotions, appraisals, team outings, skip-level … etc. for a home. The home is its own reward and punishment.
• That the choice earlier to ignore what was not fun or appealing to do at home was an unearned privilege, the weight of which was borne by another.
• That duty is doing something you do not enjoy, learning to do a task and doing it well, and finally embracing it to excel in it. That duty is not fun, but still essential. That there is a lot to learn about a home.
• Getting a window to how women who have ambition, work hard, excel, innovate in their careers, run their own businesses, lead teams, and still run their homes, while also parenting and socializing manage to do it all and deserve a better respect and support than an annual woman's day or mother's day pseudo-pamper.

That shabby Women’s day messages or Mother’s Day messages seem almost insulting and demeaning and such an easy thing to do. That the test is now? If given a choice, if the lock down lifts would families go back to old ways or embrace a new home culture that balances the load? Would this finally divide the emotional load of running a home in a family?

Are we at a moment of permanent shift?

Will things go back to the old normal? Or, will a new more balanced world be created in every home? Will we remember these lessons and make it part of the new HOME COMPANY culture? Or, forget it post the lock down?

And, finally the realization that a home is not really a woman’s world but in reality, a world for everyone in the family to play a role and do their bit. That anyone can play any role, or simply learn to. Because they have to. And, it is the only way forward...

Until this new culture of home sinks in across the world to break the cycle forever, much like the Ground Hog day movie, it would otherwise feel like Mother's day or Woman's day endlessly playing out every day ... with the rest of the family hoping the act will end and tomorrow will go back to the old normal where women held all the load.

PS: This is a reflection of the bulk of the homes that are yet to become part of the new Woke and largely patriarchal at its core. For those who live in homes where division of labour both physical, emotional and mental is already balanced, it is just life as usual with or without a COVID lock down.

    - SS [ 10/5/2020]   

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https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/emotional-labor

https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20200406-coronavirus-isolation-is-creating-new-love-under-lockdown

https://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2020/03/feminism-womens-rights-coronavirus-covid19/608302/

https://qz.com/india/1823823/with-coronavirus-lockdown-working-indian-women-face-family-sexism/

https://msmagazine.com/2020/03/31/op-ed-the-all-consuming-emotional-labor-caused-by-coronavirus-and-disproportionately-shouldered-by-women/

https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a31912468/coronavirus-women-feminism-essay/

https://www.newindianexpress.com/magazine/voices/2020/apr/05/coronavirus-changes-household-equations-with-work-from-home-initiative-2124900.html

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/mar/16/womens-coronavirus-domestic-burden

https://www.today.com/parents/mental-load-coronavirus-pandemic-means-moms-take-more-t179021