What Happens to our Brain in an Emergency? My Children Found out Today...

So today my little family and I went to Wales for the day. We visited a Caernarfon Castle, threw rocks in the sea and collected shells. Then on the way home, we decided to stop just past Conway to have an adventure to find a random beach we always see when driving on the motorway. We found it! There was a really high wind, but we played in the sand dunes and walked along the beach. The next thing we know, the wind got really high and a hailstone storm started. It was really really hard hailstone because of the wind and it was raining too (either that or the hailstone was getting us wet, I can't figure it out) anyway. It all happened so quickly, a bit like a movie where there is a sudden natural disaster and the everyone jumps in to action. It was getting dark and we had walked quiet a way without realising it, at first i walked with my daughter closely but the hail was hard and she was struggling. My husband was carrying my son but he was also unhappy. My husband got the kids in the sand dunes for shelter and to hear what I was shouting in terms of instructions. The kids were crying, hunched down next to each other in the sand. They had got panicked. I told my husband to get my eldest on his back ( knowing he could carry her further without having to stop) and told her to put her head down, with her hood up, burying in to his back for shelter. I got my son on mine and reached my hand back behind me to hold on to his hood so it stayed up, with my other hand under his bottom to keep him up on my back. We walked quickly through the sand storm and hail and rain. My stupid hat kept slipping over my eyes so I could hardly see, which probably looked ridiculous and was definitely not helping and the hale was hitting my face really hard! But regardless, the whole time I was holding my son calmly chatting and talking about how the animals might feel in the storm.

We got back to the car finally and once they were in and we had given them hugs and told them how well they did. I talked to them about their monkey brain and how it is so important, when we are in an emergency to try not to let our monkey brain take over and panic us. But instead to keep going and tell yourself it's not that bad and focus on the end goal. Keeping your brain as calm as possible.

Everyone reacts differently in an emergency. I always go super rational and plan a strategic way through the situation. I hardly panic and am very calm. I am also good at calming others down and taking over a situation. Years of living in an abusive home with an alcoholic helped with that.

When we are worried, scared or feel threatened our thinking, rational brain turns off and our reptilian brain (monkey brain) turns on. When we are in our monkey brain (that's the best way to describe it to the children) all rational thought, planning, reflection, empathy and memory goes out of the window. The rational brain is in charge of all that. That's why when we are in a scary situation or we feel threatened or unsafe, we often can't remember much about it afterward. It's a blur. Our reptilian brain is designed to keep us safe and so we generally do one ( or all ) of these three things 1. Fight (fight back/ argue/ stand up for ourselves) 2. Flight (run away, hide, need others to take over) 3. Freeze (stop and can't think properly at all. We shut down). For some reason I have trained myself to work though these and keep my thinking brain on. Although I do go in to fight mode slightly (which gets me out the situation) and we were all probably in flight mode( which is why we were walking quickly to get out of the storm). I am always aware, in these situations that I can still think rationally and my thinking brain is still on. It's so important we teach our children about their monkey brain and help them to understand how to be more in control so they can work through difficult things. That point where my kids were crying in the sand dunes, was them in freeze mode. They didn't know what to do so they just stopped and cried. My talk afterward with them helped them to understand that when we freeze, we are not using our thinking brain to help us get out of the situation. Instead we have shut down and have let our fear flood and take over our brain. These important discussions, when they are most relevant and happening in real time are crucial to helping our children develop in to emotionally intelligent little people. The more we can help our children to have this insight in to their feelings and emotions, the more they will be able to navigate themselves through difficult things when they are older.

So, I ask you, do you go in to fight flight freeze and if so which one?

Shahana Knight x