What is happening right now?

I love this photograph. In this situation that many of us have been in as a child or adult what would have happened next if one of the adults in the room asked the question to themselves and others around them “What is happening right now?”.

Possibly one of the adults may have suggested distracting the children with a game or involving them in some way. Maybe they would have decided to do nothing and keep chatting, choosing to leave the children bored and wondering what to do.

Either outcome is fine because the adults would have made a conscious decision rather than not noticing what was going on in the room.

This article highlights three ways that leaders can raise their awareness of what is going on right now in the present moment and make a choice of whether they want to change it or not.

Relationship with Self

Firstly as leaders many of us have negative thoughts throughout the day. I know I have doubts about my own ability to write thought provoking content every day. When I feel like this I can either procrastinate and wait for something easier to distract me or I can ask the question “What is happening right now?”. This gives me the space to stop, think and reflect and notice what is going on in my head and my body. This is always a good time to notice resistance and be curious about it. What am I resisting? Where does it show up? How does it show up? Where in my body do I feel the resistance. Just noticing some of these things for a few moments enables us to become conscious of our negativity and move us from judgment to discernment. I am now aware enough to make a choice whether to write or procrastinate and do something else. But it is now a conscious decision.

Relationship with Others

In key relationships both professionally and personally we can get into disagreements or misunderstand each other very easily. The other day I was in conversation with a friend of mine and we were having a heated discussion that resulted in us both raising our voices and becoming defensive of our own positions. Our main channel of communication had completely closed down even though we were still talking with each other. We had stopped listening. Using the question “What is happening right now?” in a curious and non-judgmental manner can create space in the conversation and cause both parties to pause and reflect from a variety of perspectives. It is important to recontract with each other at this moment about how you want to be with each other in order to continue the discussion in a more helpful and co-creative way. We have raised awareness that we have both become defensive and stopped listening and can choose to behave in a different way or leave the conversation for another day.

Relationships in Teams

Time is precious in any team meeting whether it is remote or face to face but when was the last time a member of your team asked the question “What is happening right now?”.

This question can be powerful in many situations but I would like to highlight two frequent events that tend to amplify dysfunctionality within teams.

There are many times in team meetings when the same voices can be heard over and over again and there are constant interruptions taking place before others can finish their sentences. This is a clear flag that there is not enough listening going on. When somebody interrupts the meeting with “What is happening right now?” there is usually confusion and frustration with the fact that someone has asked this uncomfortable question. However once this awareness has passed it gives the team space to become more aware of how the rest of the meeting should run to achieve its objectives.

The second example happens in most team meetings at some point. Even though we can not always articulate it we have all felt when the energy in a meeting is flat and we don't know why. There is a lack of engagement and dialogue is short and lacking purpose. When a team member feels this at any point it can be extremely powerful to ask the question “What is happening right now?”. This enables the whole team to become conscious of what is happening and feel the low energy in the moment. This in itself can lead to a change in team energy but if it doesn't the team leader can try and shift the energy through a change of topic or change of chair of the meeting. This again gives the team the conscious choice of how to conclude the meeting.

Whenever there is an opportunity to ask “What is happening right now?” we should also understand that courage, self-confidence, psychological safety and acceptance need to present with the relationship. These qualities make it easier for someone to ask the question of themselves, of their partner in the relationship or of the wider team.

In all of my years of coaching I have never seen a bad outcome after this question has been asked because it always raises awareness and enables the leader to change the dynamics in the present moment should they think it is the right thing to do.

When will you next ask the question “What is happening right now?”.

Andrew Tallents

Andrew Tallents has over twenty-five years’ experience in delivering a wide range of leadership consulting solutions to a variety of organisations around the world. He grew up on a council estate in Manchester, and after graduating from Salford University with a business degree, he joined the utility industry and spent his early career in business support functions.?

He then moved into the recruitment industry where he supported CEOs in growing their organisations and developing their own careers. During this time, he was fortunate to work with global organisations and developed his multicultural awareness, enabling him to work with a wide variety of leadership styles.?

He established the Tallents Partnership in 2017 to support leaders who are ambitious for themselves and their organisations. He has worked with large corporate organisations to small not-for-profit organisations and has learned that in any organisation, a leader is only as successful as the relationships they develop.

Andrew is an amazon bestselling author and published his first book “Self-Coaching for Leaders - The unique and simple approach to living your personal and professional dreams” in 2021. He is a keynote speaker and travels the world sharing his experiences of self-coaching as a way of living our personal and professional dreams.

He is proud of his family and circle of friends and associates. When he is not supporting his clients, he enjoys working towards fulfilling his potential on the golf course. He also supports charities in the social mobility sector. Andrew lives in the Wirral in the UK with his wife, children and Ollie the Cavapoo.