This is what happened when I returned from maternity leave

May 2019, I returned back to work after 6 months of maternity leave. For those of you who aren't Dutch, in the Netherlands, 6 months is a long time for maternity leave. So after being home with my little girl for months, it was time to get back into the working life. I felt ready to start working again and I was looking forward to speaking with colleagues and customers instead of focussing on targets for milk and sleeping hours. (for all moms around here, sleep is sometimes a more challenging target to reach than sales targets are, right?!)

So I stepped back into the office as a new person, a working mom, everything had changed in my life. I was excited, curious to see what was new and maybe a bit worried about the time I would need to get back on track. But after a couple of hours I realized, nothing had changed! The office was still the nice and cozy office I left 6 months ago, my colleagues where still interested and caring and my clients still had very similar challenges and questions. Yes, we had some new products and features. And yes, some systems changed but it all felt so comfortable and do-able that all worries were gone within hours.

So after getting back into the routine, catching up with clients and completing some product and system training it felt like I never left. Well, almost, because a lot had changed for me personally. When I returned I made the decision to work 4 days a week, to spend an extra day at home with my little girl. And although I love my job, this day at home is my favorite day of the week, sorry, not sorry! Working 4 days a week means in my case my role hasn't changed I just have less time to get the job done ;-). And interesting enough, after giving birth you get much more productive and focused! Mother nature knows what women need, for sure! As a mom, I got some news skills; prioritizing what really matters, getting shit done and work against deadlines (a.k.a. picking your baby up from kindergarten on time some you still have some time together before she goes to bed).

So it all sounds perfect, right? Well, there is another thing that happened after I returned from maternity leave; I feel guilty, all the time. Yes, all the time! When going to work, I feel guilty about bringing my girl to kindergarten, when I'm at home I feel guilty not doing any work. I feel guilty about missing out on work events, I feel guilty coming home late and not having time left to play with my daughter before she goes to sleep. And I haven't even mentioned the guilt you feel when your baby is sick. Beginning at home with a sick child or bringing a half sick child to kindergarten, the guilt is real. I'm sure it's a mommy mind-fuck but it's one of the most interesting things your mind does after returning at work as a mommy.

But having said all of this, I couldn't be more grateful for being a working mom. For me, it's the best of both worlds and I wouldn't change a thing. From my own experience and all experiences around me, I believe working moms really add a lot of value, experience, and unique skills to a company. To all working moms; You've got this! So tell me working mom, what happened to you when you returned from maternity leave?!