What is a Habit?

How did your day begin? What were the first handful of things you did? Perhaps you made the bed, drank a glass of water or brushed your teeth. At the starting of each day, habits are performed without much thought or consideration from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to bed, likely because of the various habits embedded in you because of what we have been taught or instructed by our parents/guardians or development on our own over time.

A habit is what exactly?

A habit via the dictionary, is ‘a settled tendency or usual manner of behavior’. I find this a bit interesting for a couple reasons especially as it uses the word behavior but let’s think about this. When I think of a habit, it’s something as simple as you wake up and you make the bed. For me, it’s not something I really find myself thinking about before doing it — it’s an action I do before exiting the bedroom each morning — this feels like a habit. Perhaps you’re a person who does not make the bed or does it right away (no judge zone) but is something you remember in the middle of doing something else. I believe this is more of a thought-out behavior that you took the time stop, say to yourself “I should go make the bed” and you go and do it. If it is something that doesn’t happen routinely or around the same time each day or whatever the cadence maybe it’s a course of behavior that at some point has the potential to becoming a habit after you’ve completed the pattern over and over until it becomes an unconscious and automatic action. So, a behavior is not a habit, but you have the potential to turn it into a habit and maybe vice versa?

The good & the bad

As we examine where certain habits may fall, because everyone is different not everyone will feel the same way and that’s okay. Feel free to share your thoughts below in the comments, as I have my opinion on the good and the bad habits. I think there may have been one that can be viewed as simple and yet may have changed in the era of COVID. If you’re like me and many others that have been used to having to travel to the office for work each day for most or all of your career you developed a habit of knowing exactly how much time it will take you to wake up, get ready, commute and have your butt in the chair at work. Before COVID, for example I know I needed to be awake about 30-45 minutes before I left the house and have about 20-25 minutes when I needed to be at work so by doing this routinely, I have created this good habit to ensure I am punctual and arrive on time for work. I don’t like being late for anything or sometimes get annoyed when others are late because that’s just my expectation through habit. During COVID, working from home has maybe knocked me off my game or simply modified my existing habit. I know it’s not going to take me 20-25 minutes to walk across the house to my office and log on and let’s be honest I am not dressing up as much as I did before. Due to this added time, I have an opportunity to do a couple things…do I sleep in for an extra 20-25 minutes and how much added benefit am I getting from this? Another option that I have is to read a chapter or two of a book, go for a morning walk, get some fresh air and sun to kick off my day. Or on some days because I don’t count those previous options as a habit yet (not consistently enough in my mind) do I sleep in and move the timing of when I get ready to after I send that first email or two? To me, this is my bad habit I have developed because it throws the whole flow of my day off balance. I can do a whole piece just on this.

Importance of being self-aware

Starting to think everyone was right when they told me you get wiser with age or when I was younger and I thought I knew everything was told by colleagues, others that I didn’t — “I’m just a kid yet”. Through experience and time there are certainly things I wish I can go back and tell my younger self to shut up and listen to everyone around me and just absorb as much as I can and process who I am and who I want to be. In recent years, I believe I have been having this aha moment like that time where Jerry Seinfeld was telling George Costanza, “If everything you’ve done up to this point has been wrong, then the opposite must be right”. Being more self-aware with what I do each day gives me that few moments to think about the effects of a decision that I wouldn’t have thought twice about before and then ending up in a situation I wasn’t too pleased with or feeling regret. Regardless of what it is, it’s important to assess things and what is the outcome, cons or benefits of something happening. For example, you make a purchase on something rather expensive and instantly gravitate toward the what are we going to get of it for having that item — filling a void we think we have, how it makes us feel when we have something new. Depending on the level of the financial commitment it will take to have it’s important to think about a habit where we may have had that impulse to just buy and think about the con side of things at the cost of how it makes us feel initially. Why is it that I need this? Can I afford this? The duration to pay for this may last longer than the gratification it brings…whatever it is not just in this situation how does this decision help me become who I ultimately want to be in life and is it something that is truly helping me get there. The more self-aware we are about the habits we have embedded within us will surely help us decide whether that habit is good or bad for us or if we need to take a different approach.?

Be the agent of change to influence your habits

Only you can be that voice of reason with yourself to influence who you are through your habits. No one is going to come knocking at your door to take you to the gym, no one is going to come knock that food out of your hand (wish someone would sometimes), no one is going to stop you from swiping your credit card (certainly not that salesperson), nor will someone come to tell you to get off social media and do something productive. Is anyone perfect, no — I’m certainly not and still trying to work through a couple of these and it takes discipline and energy to fight against yourself or in this case we should view it as fighting for yourself. Remember the question earlier, “maybe we can change a habit into a behavior just as we can turn a behavior into a habit?” If you want to kick the habit, you’re not too pleased with, it’s time to behave and maneuver differently than we have subconsciously for so long and evolve to be better for ourselves. Last year, I made it a habit to read more and give myself additional opportunity to learn, grow and be a better version of myself. Want to guess what topic of books I started with??Books about habits!

Benefit from new or changed habits

It’s not something that happens overnight even though in this world we live it with everything being so convenient and providing instant gratification we think it should be that easy. As a result, we tend to give up on those goals, changes etc. that we want to achieve. While it’s important to have a main goal on the horizon, it’s just as important to focus on the path we need to take along the way so we can truly reap the benefits of what we want. I want to go to the gym and lose 20lbs but it’s not going to happen after one or two trips to the gym or after going for a run. I have my goal, but I must plan out and develop a strategy of how I am going to do this and come up with a realistic timeline to see the progress I have made with a few stops and downfalls along the way. Same with other habits, just because we didn’t get the result we wanted after a few tries or we went back to our old ways doesn’t mean we give up on ourselves. It takes practice and repetition to change and see the benefits of what we worked so hard for and that feeling will serve you better for other challenges you may face.?

Final thoughts

How will your habits define you? Are you being self-aware to be better than you were yesterday? I don’t know who said it but it has always something I have tried my damned best to strive for — I want to be better today than I was yesterday, and even better tomorrow than I am today. Habits are something we develop from when we were children and carry with us our entire lives sometimes but the time we take in between childhood and old age is something so powerful to be better not just for ourselves, but everyone else around us. At this time, I invite you if you’re comfortable to talk and share your experiences with each other to engage and learn/teach one another. We all have different perspectives and ways of doing things and be willing to accept those other ways…and through that your habits just may change.

Original post can be found at new habit district