What Grace Tame can teach us about our own leadership style on International Women's Day
Anneli Blundell CSP (She/Her)
Helping people get heard at work | Speaker | Author | Communication Dynamics Expert
You no doubt heard the reports, saw the photos, or watched the video.
There was our Prime Minister in a very public moment, being given the cold shoulder by the outgoing Australian of the Year, Grace Tame. It was clear, she was ‘not happy Jan’.
Now, I’m not going to talk about whether that was the right thing to do, or the wrong thing to do by Grace. I’m not here to talk about the cause she is fighting for (weird I know, given it’s an IWD article), nor the politics of the day that led to this uncomfortable moment for the nation.
Nay my friends. I’m here to talk about what we can learn about our?own leadership style?based on?our personal reaction?to that moment.
What I loved most about the discussions that ensued, was what it revealed about our human propensity to judge, and weigh in with our opinions… as if they were facts.
I read lots of comments about her motives and intentions, about the political game playing and the statement she was making. But rarely did I read questions about the context, about PTSD, about her neurodiversity and social anxiety. Rarely did I read the most important response of all – curiosity.
This very public, very polarising situation is an opportunity for us all to examine our default leadership style – where do you go when people don't behave as you expect them to?
What kind of leader do you become?
Are you judging, controlling, directing??(“You shouldn't do that. You mustn’t behave like that. You need to act like this instead”)?– a?Directive?focus.
Or are you curious, empathetic, compassionate? (“I wonder what’s going on here, what’s her intention, what am I not seeing in this?”) -?a?Discovery?focus.
A discovery focus?encourages a?coaching approach.?This allows us to see the intention behind the behaviour and to dig beneath the surface to find out what’s really going on, and ultimately, how to support the person to find their own way forward in future situations. Incidentally, this is how we truly?#breakthebias.
A directive focus, creates a?command-and-control?environment. This approach sets up a parent-child dynamic and builds behaviours through punishment and reward, rather than self-exploration and critical thinking.?
Whether Grace should or shouldn't have acted like that, as her boss, just telling her she was wrong?would have been a poor approach to changing her behaviour.
A considered and curious coaching approach would have led to rich dialogue and a deeper understanding about the situation, for all parties. And who knows, maybe by the end we would have changed our own mind instead of trying to change her behaviour. It’s not guaranteed, but at least the possibility is on the table.
To?#breakthebias?once and for all we need to remember:
Before?directing behaviours,?we need to?discover intention.
This is the cornerstone of inclusive leadership – seeking to understand the ‘edges’, before shaving them off to fit the box.
领英推荐
Every day we need to remind ourselves:
I’d love to know what you think.
About Anneli
Anneli is on a mission to humanise the leadership landscape and change the way we see each other.
With her keynote speaking, and flagship programs on Women at Work, and Applied Allyship, Anneli brings her gender advocacy to large groups of leaders, creating safe spaces to explore the issues and opportunities of inclusion, belonging and allyship in practical and profound ways. Anneli gives leaders the tools and strategies to value all voices equally, to sponsor hidden talent, and to develop the unlikely leaders waiting to be discovered. It’s about knowing how to cultivate the right conditions to turn potential into performance at every level, for everyone.
To Anneli, workplace equality is not only about policies; it’s also about the daily practices that support them. This is not about eradicating our human bias, it’s about humanising our leadership habits.
Website:?www.anneliblundell.com
Email:?[email protected]
Twitter:?https://twitter.com/AnneliBlundell
I have often thought we could reverse the focus from Grace to the Prime Minister. He could surely see she was uncomfortable. Where was his 'grace' to help a young, inexperienced but ardent social campaigner in such a difficult position. In this case, perhaps he could have acknowledged the situation and said something like 'Grace and I have had our differences about how to best tackle the issues she campaigns for. In my position I have to call it as I see it. I'm sure I get it wrong a lot of the time. I continue to admire and applaud Grace's tenacity. I'm keen to continue dialog with her and learn from her. There is a great deal I still have to learn. I simply cannot imagine the trauma Grace has been through. Perhaps, over time and with experience, she may come to understand my position a little better. Perhaps not. Regardless, I will continue to have the utmost respect for her as a person and for her cause and I look forward to her continued contribution and efforts to eliminate the type of appalling behaviour she suffered from our schools and indeed society. Thank you Grace for everything you have done."
Executive Coach | Leadership Development | Team Building | Workshop Facilitation | Strategic Planning | Change Management | Career Development
2 年Love your work Anneli! Thank you for reminding us to press pause before we judge either way.
Inspirational Leadership Speaker | Creator of 'DIVERSIFY - A musical for the keynote stage' | Author of PROJECTIFY | Showing leaders the value of difference
2 年Oh hell yes!! This is a GREAT post, Anneli! ?????? I distinctly remember being drawn into offering my opinion on this 'situation' (okay, no one 'drew me in' - I did of my own free will ??) and thinking later that all I really knew about it came from a (carefully chosen) photo and other people's opinions. But to your point, how many of us have come to judgement based on a 'snapshot' combined with our preconceptions and biases...when a little bit of curiosity and empathy might have presented an opportunity to lead. Thanks for this, my friend! ??
Strategic Leadership & Planning | Stakeholder Management | High-Performance Teams | Community and Health Services | State and Local Government | Emergency Management
2 年Great article Anneli, thought provoking and insightful, as usual. Good reflection for IWD.
Chief Human Resources Officer
2 年Great post Anneli. I admit I fell into the oscillating category and the reminder to just pause judgement for a while and remain open and curious is timely and very helpful.