What if giving up on a dream is a good thing?

When I was a kid, I never had to think about what I was going to do when I grow up.

At age 6 I decided I would be a composer and musician.?

Did I know how to play an instrument? Ha! Like THAT’S going to stop me!

I spent the next 15 years learning about music and spending endless hours of practice and rehearsals until I eventually got signed to a record label. I used the advance to build a project studio in my tiny Amsterdam flat.

I finally made a living doing the thing I LOVE.

And then things changed. I lost the love.?

What was very appealing at age 6 (attention!) and 14 (fame!) wasn’t that interesting when I was 25.?

What lit me up was the art of producing music, exploring what is new and exciting. But I realised I just didn’t love the profession.?

The profession of being a musician involves being on the road and continuously feeding the social media beast. As an introvert, neither of those lit me up.?

I pushed through, thinking the people around me wouldn’t notice. But they did.

People can tell when you’re not putting 100% in, sometimes even before you do.

I was reminded of this situation when I had the pleasure of interviewing the wonderful Rebecca Tapp from FutureCrunch about purpose.

Our purpose may change over time

Our personalities aren’t as fixed as we used to think -?what we value or what excites us changes over time, and with it our purpose.

And when that happens, we may have to give up on a dream that we’ve held dear for a long time.

So NOW what?

Change in purpose doesn't always happen overnight.?

As Angela Duckworth describes in her book Grit, it can take a few years to find a new direction.

Purpose can be developed

For a few years, I was searching for a new purpose.

I started doing video editing work alongside composing. It was a good enough job; enjoyable, decent pay and nice clients.?

I started shooting my own content, and then I discovered interviewing people! A whole new world of people and stories opened up for me.

People are weird and wonderful.

Interviewing people was as exciting to me as the journey of exploration and discovery that music provided, but infinitely more complex and interesting, because people are.

I was hooked!

Now, 25 years and 3000+ interviews later I’m still excited to meet the next person I get to talk to. FInding the stories is a process you never stop learning about.?It’s something that can change and evolve alongside me, as I change over time.?

We shouldn't wait for the light bulb moment.

I learned that finding a new purpose is a process.?You build interest while deepening expertise, and as a result, the work becomes challenging and interesting.?

So when is the right time for a career change?

Dropping performance or a temporary slump doesn’t have to mean you need a new career. However,?it can’t hurt to ask yourself a few questions that Rebecca kindly shared:

• Am I living life by default or by design? How consciously did I choose the work I do?
• Are my choices based on fear or inspiration? If you’re worried about failure or feeling you’re never ‘enough’ it may be worth getting different perspectives from your own.?An outsider's perspective may give you the courage needed to make the change.
• Is the work meaningful to you? Does it connect to your values and do you feel you make a difference in some way that matters to you?

Dream some more!

Never give up on your dreams: just allow for them that evolve over time, the way you do.

And when that happens, you’re about to learn something new and exciting about yourself!

Things to read up on:

Check out Rebecca’s white paper about decoding purpose:

https://www.rebeccatapp.com/newday

And The Great Transformation from the wonderful FutureCrunch people: https://futurecrun.ch/the-great-transformation-ebook