What gives you the most joy?

This has been a pet day-dreaming exercise of mine. 

I keep asking myself, my family, my colleagues and friends this question again and again. Most times, the answers are always consistent. They have somethings much coveted after, destinations to go to, a lifestyle to achieve and emotional topics like better relationships, quality of life and so on. 

Mine has always been to retire when I turned 40. 

But unfortunately, when I turned 40, I decided to put myself on a learning journey and take up challenging assignments to learn specific skills from each role. I will capture that journey in another post, but the concept of retiring at 40 was to save enough money so that I need not work ever for the sake of money for the rest of my life and my son has a relatively easier life navigating through his own (I wish my parents thought that way too, back in the day :-))

A few close friends I know achieved that goal. But very soon, after a brief hiatus, they were itching to get back to work or be gainfully employed. They discovered that the passion and drive they had during their working days is what kept them gunning for more and without something to do to keep themselves clued in, they were living a rudderless life which is not working for them. 

Of course, a few went on to try their hand at writing that hidden book which never happened as after a few pages, they ran out of words. They tried to make the film they always wanted for the sake of art and they realized that the movie industry is a shark pit. They painted little, holidayed a lot and even spent a lot of time with their kids. What brought them back to earth was the innocent questions the kids asked, ‘Daddy, why aren’t you going to work like the other daddies?” which crashed into their self-esteem like nothing ever could. 

We spend our entire career getting better and better at whatever we set out to do and around the time (10000 hours if you subscribe to Outliers by Malcom Gladwell) you’ve become an expert at your chosen field, you don’t throw it all away. Of course, every rule has its exceptions and there are those who let everything go for passion, love, health or frustration. But those are few and far between and I’ve discovered that after the stage of an expert, one option is to become altruistic and groom others in your chosen field. How I discovered this was an epiphany of sorts. 

One of my colleagues who worked with me several years ago has now become the head of communications in a large MNC. When I heard it for the first time, what I felt was genuine joy. I was happy for him and all that he worked for and what he had managed to achieve. I planned to meet him and one day, after much coordination, we set up the time but, before reaching his office, I called him to ask if we can meet below his office for a smoke? (desperately trying to quit. Will do it one of these days)? Given that we hadn’t met for a while, I first checked if he still smoked 

His answer brought a smile to my face and tears in my eyes. He said, “Everything we did together and whatever you taught me - I still do, so will come out for the smoke. Thanks for asking”. 

That moment was pure pleasure. I realized that I gave me the greatest joy. It is such a treat to watch people grow and become better than their mentor or managers. I recalled a line by David Ogilvy and now understand its true meaning, “Hire people better than yourself. And then leave them to get on with it. Look for people who will aim for the remarkable, who will not settle for the routine”.

That’s the only way, you will continue growing and churning great work till the last working day of your life.