What is getting in the way of your health and wellbeing?

One of the most important aspects of my health is how I show up as a dad to my two boys.

Investing in my health gives me more capacity to show up for them. AND spending time being Dad with them also helps me be a healthier person. It’s a two way street.

Over the last few weeks I’ve noticed myself being more distracted while with them, and less present. I’d put it down to sleep debt, and lots of ideas firing off around business. No matter how hard I tried, my attention kept wandering.

I’m sure many of us can relate. We’re working on something and it just seems elusive. We can’t get it so we push harder, and when it still doesn’t come we get frustrated. In the case of being Dad, frustration just makes things worse.

In these instances it's often not about pushing harder and trying more. It's usually about removing a barrier that stops the desired action.

What are some common barriers that get in the way of healthy behaviour?

1. Social influence. Many of us have people around us that encourage us to be better versions of ourselves. When we’re with these people it’s often easier to take healthy action. We usually also have some people around who encourage us away from the behaviours we are trying to take action on. Our “pie and coke” friends aren’t ideal to hang out with at the moment we are trying to take healthy action.
2. Location. The geography of where you want to take a particular action can create a significant barrier to it occurring. People who try to go to a gym on the opposite side of town usually find it a more difficult behaviour to sustain than going to a gym close to their home. Inconvenient locations impede healthy behaviours.
3. Temptation. Sometimes the action that we are trying to take doesn’t create the same hit of dopamine that another easily accessible behaviour does. Our willpower gets overpowered for the hormone hit.
4. Boundaries. Many of my clients find that they are “on-demand” as well as being “in-demand”. They have multiple pulls on their time, energy, and attention. When they haven’t defined their boundaries well, one priority bleeds over and impacts other important actions - It’s not always, but nearly always work.

How do we get around these barriers?

• Review exactly what happens when you are trying to action your desired behaviour
• Identify what you do instead of the desired behaviour
• Identify what triggers that alternate behaviour
• Remove that trigger, or minimise it

When I was playing with my boys, I would notice my mind start to wander. I’d begin to think about business ideas some of the time. Especially if I got an email alert on my phone (boundaries). Sometimes general thoughts would pop into my head and take me away from the moment. At other times my agitation levels would increase pulling me away from the action.

When my mind wandered, or I felt agitated I’d pull my phone out of my pocket and check email, or social media, or cricket scores, or even how many steps I’d taken that day. The phone was the temptation. And the dopamine hit that it gave me from the brain candy it delivered pulled me away from the action I wanted to take.

My trigger for getting pulled out of the moment was the phone that was sitting in my pocket.

Over the last week I’ve left my phone in the other room, or in the car, or on the charger most of the time I’ve been playing with my boys.

There is nothing that I need to be “on-demand” for, the most important things are right in front of me. If I’ve been contacted when I check my phone again it’s great to get that rush of dopamine from being “in-demand”. And the time I’ve taken for my priority means I’ll respond more effectively.

When you are struggling to action a particular behaviour. It’s often not about pushing harder. It’s usually about asking “why aren’t I doing this now?” Spending some time looking at what is getting in your way can make progress so much easier.

If you want to improve your health or the health of your organisation in 2024 book a free no-obligation chat with me https://calendly.com/healthmentors/30min