What Gardening Taught Me About Personal Development

We all know the old saying "you are what you eat"....

Yet often times we ignore "you are what you think" ,"you reap what you sow" , and "you are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with".

The mind is so powerful, it took us to the moon, and cured disease yet we cannot accept that with such power comes extreme caution....

We must control what we let dominate our minds, we must tend to our thoughts like gardeners tend their precious plots.

We must weed out all that will not deliver beneficial fruit.

1.)Balance is everything

I have literally drowned plants, while at the same time felt like I was drowning myself.

"Balance, you must have" - in my best garden yoda voice.

When attempting to encourage little seeds to become delicious plants you learn that balance is a tight rope you must walk.

Water too much, your plants drown, water too little your plants look like a raisin.

Too much sun, your plants will be burn to a crisp (you dont want that), too little sun your plants will never turn into the deliciousness they are planted for.

Fertilize too much, your plants will also die a toxic burning death (you also dont want that) fertilize too little and they will progress slower then a snail running a marathon.

13 years of depression had alot to do with lack of balance. Yeah Im 26 so half my life.

I experienced a lot of suffering, a lot of pain, fear, and grief but instead of working through it I did what alot of us do and put on a mask.

I was everyone else's lighthouse and life preserver. I simply didn't know how to unload all the weight I carried, and I planted seeds in my garden (life) that weren't going to grow what I was actually seeking.

If you plant a lettuce seed guess what? You get a lettuce plant.

If you plant a seed of negative thinking, you get negative thoughts.

If you plant negative thoughts, you better believe you're going to get negative actions.

."You reap what you sow" is no joke. Trust me I have run a-lot of experiments.

How does one get to a place of balance? Well the world is filled with negativity, so fill yourself up with pos·i·tiv·i·ty. No not pixie dust, rainbows, and butterflies but real actionable things like therapy, mediation, writing, exercise, GARDENING, prayer and praise.

2.) Companions can help you or hinder you

The corn earworm is the same as the tomato fruitworm(Also known as the cotton bollworm). Growing the plants in proximity that are susceptible to the same pests can invite disaster and a decimated garden.

It's alot harder to rid yourself of negative thoughts and actions when you surround yourself with people who are negative. Its even harder to change your circle of influence when they are family and friends, but you only get one life.

In gardening companion planting is a real thing. Some flowers like Marigolds actually repel insects. Some plants hinder the growth of the plants around them.

All lessons I had to learn the hard way. I don't advise you to do the same.

In order to grow or heal, we must take time to do some inventory on the people in our lives. We must either nurture the relationships or weed out the relationships. Of course there are graceful ways to do both, and I highly recommend you do so. Sometimes we are just as negative a influence on others as they on us. Yes we actually can be the problem person in other peoples lives to.

3.) Focus on what you can control, make peace with what you cant

You can do everything right in the garden, and sometimes the sun don't shine.

Everyone has their fears right? For some its spiders, or public speaking (public speaking spiders) mine just happens to be the fear of helplessness.

Wouldn't you know I watched a lot of suffering as a child and teen. Friends and family in pain and there wasn't a lot I could do. I despise not being able to help people, but I have had to make peace with the fact that sometimes no matter what we do people are their own people.

I spent to many years so focused on trying to help other people who didn't want to help themselves and very little time working on my own pain and healing.

The fear of helplessness also raised its ugly head in the garden, storms would come and wreck the garden beds, rabbits would eat the lettuce, or the sun wouldn't shine for days.

When you're on an emotional roller-coaster of depression and anxiety little things like it raining for a week can really put a damper on things... if you let it.

Something had to give, but it would require me to focus on what I could control, and make peace with what I couldn't.

I had to plant seeds that aligned with what I wanted. I had to do the work.

I wanted "you reap what you sow" to mean something good in my life.

It required me to help myself, to seek out therapy, to fill myself up with beneficial things like prayer, gratitude, exercise, mediation, and writing . It required me to make the hard decisions and the sober realization that no one was coming to save me. I had to save myself.

I put sticky notes all throughout my house. Written on them were the things I was grateful for, bible verses of encouragement, the words of people admired, and reminders to let go of the past.

I saw my therapist, and became an open book. I started to share my struggles with others who were struggling, and surrounding myself with people who overcame.

I chose me! I chose to change the outcome of my story, and the meaning of it. I chose to conquer my demons, and now I help others do the same.

I choose everyday to keep the balance, and to continue to do the little things that have gotten me to a place where my garden outside isn't the only thing prospering.

I hope the above brings you value, and look forward to your feedback. This is only a small part of what gardening has taught me about life. If you ever have questions about gardening, or want to learn more about it let me know.

If you're in a difficult time in your life, reach out, I will help anyway I can.

I have been there. If you're taking steps towards a better life, just remember one thought one action at a time.

The following is a small part of a book I'm writing, please let me know your thoughts!