What is gaming teaching my son?

My son loves sport. He plays four organised sports a week and is fit and active. I just thought I'd throw that out there first because, he's also the sort of kid that if you let him, would sit on an electronic device all day and the rest of this article is going to talk about his love of video games. #pitchforksdown.

Two years ago the family got a PlayStation 4. That's actually a hilarious thing to say, because really, my son is the only one that plays it.

About 12 months ago, boy child started nagging me to connect the PlayStation to the internet so he could play online games with his friends.

I ducked and weaved this request for about 11 months as I was worried about online interactions occuring with people he did not know.

This was my first learning point on the issue. I was interested to realise that my hesitation to let boy child play online was directly correlated to my lack of knowledge on the PlayStation platform.

I'm actually quite techy and am often asked for advice about child:social media use but gaming is something I know very little about. It made me reflect on the importance of trying to understand, if not experience, the platforms and technologies our children are using (I literally just asked my daughter to teach me how to use snapchat today 'cause I got no idea what's going on in that app!).

So I did my research, i.e. consulted my 19 year old nephew who is a keen gamer. He talked me through what was and wasn't possible so tentatively, I logged boy child into the internet on the PlayStation so he could play online with his mates. #paperbagging.

Cue mother guilt.

Now, the PlayStation is in an open area directly in front of the kitchen, so while cooking dinner last night I observed my son communicating with three of his friends online. They were playing a game called Brawlhalla. That's about as much as I can tell you about the game!

Learning point number two on this issue.

Well. Let me tell you, it was an eye-opener. It totally changed my perception of the experience and value of my son playing games online with his friends. Put those pitchforks down and hear me out!

Boy child had three friends he played this game with online last night:

1. Greg* - nice kid and knows how to play the game.
2. Billy - new to the game, wasn't quite sure what to do.
3. Alan - he's a little bit special... not a good listener... has the attention span of a gnat.

* Names have been changed to protect the innocent. Can I just declare that he goes to school with all three and I made sure he knew who they were. I do have some parenting skills...

Now as boy child had a headset on, I could only hear what he is saying. So this is what I heard while I'm preparing dinner (and inserted are my thoughts on the skills I was hearing demonstrated):

• "Billy, you have to pick up the box from the left and pull the lever. That's right. Great, now we can all enter." (Team work! Training!)
• "Greg, can you take care of that guy and I'll sort out the ones on the right." (Team work. Delegation).
• "Alan. Alan. ALAN! Please stop hitting me. That's not helpful." (Conflict resolution. Negotiation).
• "OK guys, we all need to work together or we wont get through this level." (Leadership. Teamwork).
• "Billy, you have armour in your backpack. You need to click on X to access it". (Onboarding. Leadership).
• "Greg. What's that green thing in front of us? I haven't seen that before?" (Communication. Teamwork).
• "Alan. Can you please move away from the door so we can all get through? Alan. ALAN! We can't get through until... Alan? Where did Alan go?" (Patience. So much patience).

Look, maybe my son is just a bossy little cad but the stark difference between him playing a video game alone and this one-sided interaction I was hearing were not lost on me (keep it together pitchfork people, I know it would be better if he was not gaming at all and perhaps helping me in the kitchen but he does that regularly and please stay focused on what the article is about.... breathe...).

A large amount of my work focus at the moment is on supporting newly placed staff in a large organisation to improve their skills working in dispersed and often online teams. Maybe this has tainted my view on what I was observing and perhaps I'm reading way too much into it but I genuinely feel he was learning how to function in an online team to achieve a common purpose.

We are hearing so much about "skills for the future" and online team, leadership and communication skills would seem a rather handy one to have! Especially if you have an Alan in your team...

And yes, pitchfork people, I am well aware that physical and actual human connection with his friends and the outside world are more valuable than playing online video games. Greg is actually coming over for a playdate this afternoon and they will be jumping in the pool, playing handball and kicking the soccer ball around so all good.

But then... I'm pretty sure they might both sit and play Brawlhalla next to each other with Alan and Billy online and you know what? I'm OK with that!