What Fuels You?

CIO Unplugged. A blog at the traffic circle of professional, personal, 

technical and healthcare. Opinions my own.

My passion for healthcare began in high school, working as a janitor at an outpatient facility. Equipped with my Walkman cranked to The Clash and Boomtown Rats, I knew I found my career calling. From that point forward, different encounters refueled that passion. The most dramatic experience was personal and career changing.

A Journey Home. Fourteen years ago today, mom traded her earthly rags for a robe of righteousness. After a courageous four-year fight against the ravages of ovarian cancer, Ida Wilhelmine Marx bid us farewell. The experience profoundly impacted me as a man, and in my profession. As the youngest of seven kids, mom and I were tight. As I blindly stumbled my way through adolescence, she represented mercy and grace. When busted for shoplifting, arrested for joy riding, setting the house on fire, partying excessively, and flunking school, she was there. If not for father’s discipline balanced by mother’s care, you would not be reading this.

Radiance. Mom suffered much from illness her entire life. She took cancer in stride: eight rounds of chemo, two rounds of radiation, and a couple of surgeries. Her sole desire before transitioning to her next life was to celebrate her 50th wedding anniversary. When clinicians transferred her to hospice weeks prior, it was clear she would not reach her golden goal. With parents’ permission, my brothers and sisters planned an early 50th anniversary party and vow renewal — the final celebration of mom’s life. Knowing our world would change the following day, that night we put on the best party ever. Ever.

Hollywood could not write a better script. Hospice physicians bent rules and gave mom life-sustaining nutrients and fluids through the big day. They arranged a “Sentimental Journey” pass: a limousine (ambulance) service for mom and dad to the picturesque Colorado Cheyenne Mountain Resort. Two paramedics waited outside while the party raged inside. They quipped how special mom was since the only other person who received paramedics as escort was Dick Cheney.

All seven of us children attended, plus all grandchildren. My parents invited their closest friends. With the backdrop of the Rockies and the majesty of a traditional wedding ceremony, I had the privilege of walking dad to the front. My oldest brother Mike had the honor of escorting mom in her wheelchair to join dad at the altar. She looked ravishing. My sisters had dressed her to the “nines.” Mom’s dream was unfolding in real time.

Each brother and sister took part in the ceremony, as did each grandchild. Assigned to deliver the sermon, I gave thanks for my parents and the legacy they created, against all odds. Holocaust nor wars nor sickness nor cancer hell could keep them apart or undermine the influence they were created to impart. Their legacy continues through successive generations. The ceremony ended with the exchanging of vows. Pope Benedict XVI signed a Papal blessing of the 50th milestone, which touched my parents deeply. We printed the blessing in the renewal program. Unity candles, songs, prayers, and standing ovations lent to the evening’s incredibleness. But this was only the beginning.

One Heck of a Show. We entered the ballroom for a superb five-course meal. Taking advantage of the live music, dad rolled mom out in her wheelchair to dance. My parents are fantastic dancers, and seeing my dad wheel mom around was poignant. Throughout the evening, we danced to our hearts’ desires. All four boys danced with mom, who was clearly delighted. Even my oldest son Brandon danced with her, to which she commented, “You’re not dancing. You’re just shaking your ass!” Mom was fiery as ever. Next came toasts, the garter ceremony, and the accruements of a fine celebration. At that point, Mom addressed the room with loving words. Dad tried but fell apart. As a finale, guests and family formed a tunnel by joining hands. Dad wheeled Mom through as we hugged, kissed, cried, and spoke blessings. Returning to her limousine, she was still beaming. Dad shared that as he laid mom to bed that evening, she exclaimed, “We sure gave them one hell of a show tonight, didn’t we?”

Timing. During her illness, I flew out often to visit. I wanted to be at her side when she passed, just as she had been at my side so many times before. That 2am call from my brother (No! No! No!). I missed by eight hours, damn-it! Arriving shortly after her death, I supported my brokenhearted father and assisted siblings with funeral arrangements.

Kiss. Mom took her last breath after midnight. Two siblings and dad were bedside and described that, while painless, her body struggled for every breath. As a result, her mouth was stuck wide open. The hospice nurse explained, the mortician would be the only one able to close mom’s mouth. Meanwhile, dad held mom’s broken body, the first time in months he could touch her without causing pain. Comfort permeated the room and reinforced our belief that she indeed transitioned to a place, free of pain.

Dad kissed her lips. Wept over her. Held her body. While awaiting the mortician, mom’s mouth closed…and she smiled. 

Passion Fueled. Mom’s battle gave me considerable time in various care settings. I observed processes, evaluated technology, and imagined how experiences could be improved. Clinicians treating mom lacked the communications and clinical decision support needed to deliver the best care. I was saddened by lack of access to critical and timely data. The amount of paper and manual processing disappointed me. I created medication reconciliation lists and pulled charts together myself. I swore I would be an agent of change. My passion to leverage technology and transform the clinician and patient experience was fueled. To save lives. It remains the drive in my daily work.

This is the "why" I remain tenacious advocating digital transformation, the "why" I continually innovate and collaborate with clinicians. It is the "why" I write. It is the "why" I advocate for courageous leadership. It’s the fire behind time invested with people on leadership, service, process, transformation and passion over novel techie topics. We must first develop empathy and heart for patients before tech platforms. The full potential of technology in healthcare is only realized when our hearts align with mission. It is the intersection of empathetic leadership and technology where digital transformation explodes.

Thanks, mom, for fueling my passion as a leader of healthcare digital transformation.

What fuels your passion? What stokes your fire?