What to "Fix" If You Want to Be a Leader

It's commonly supposed that leaders are born and not made, but there is no real evidence for that. More realistically, leadership is a quality you discover in yourself, not by a sudden revelation but by a series of steps. Each step leads to the same conclusion: "I can do this." As you meet one challenge after another, you grow into leadership. The process is entirely personal and different from one individual to the next, which is why no university or business school course can actually produce leaders through a course on the subject.

On the path to becoming a leader, there will be obstacles and resistance, as with any difficult skill. Generally, people take the attitude that these obstacles are external--the fault of a bad boss, the wrong job, an uncooperative team, etc. But in reality the external circumstances you find yourself in reflect your own inner state. When an obstacle faces you head on and you find it difficult or impossible to remove, look inside and fix yourself before blaming anyone around you.

"Fixing yourself" doesn't mean acting as your own therapist. You aren't out to psychoanalyze yourself. Instead, you objectively consider what your strong and weak points are as a leader or potential leader.

The skill of leadership requires certain specific abilities, so ask yourself if you can:

• Inspire loyalty

• Make others feel safe

• Listen to all points of view

• See past your own needs to fulfill the needs of others

• Make others feel accepted and respected

• Motivate others to succeed

• Open up a space for creativity

• Foster harmony in a team

These are the major requirements as judged from the viewpoint of followers. The vast majority of workers are going to be followers, at least for part of their careers; therefore, you need to see the qualities of a leader from their perspective.  The Gallup Organization has done research in this field all around the world, and their data shows that what is most valued in a leader is loyalty, making their followers feel safe in their jobs, and the sense that a leader pays attention to what his followers do and say.

Unfortunately, leaders tend to alienate co-workers and followers in the present economic climate, where the salaries of top executives are outrageously out of proportion with workers' pay.  This isn't a pressing matter for the time being if you are just climbing the ladder to leadership. Yet there are behaviors associated with a hostile management-worker relationship that apply to all leaders. 

If you do the following, you need to think seriously about fixing your behavior:

• Acting superior and high-handed

• Enforcing rules rigidly

• Favoring a small core of people over everyone else

• Measuring your success and others' by how much you earn

• Using money as a primary reward, leaving out praise, respect, and appreciation

• Being a demanding perfectionist

• Holding on to your own fixed opinions while excluding new input

• Seeming to look out only for yourself

• Criticizing team members or employees in public

• Failing to show respect to everyone

• Assuming that you always know best

• Coming to snap judgments and pigeon-holing others

• Managing through fear and intimidation

These are behaviors that range from ill-advised and inefficient to downright toxic.  Everyone has worked under bosses and leaders who probably exhibited one or more of these behaviors, and this experience tends to stick. You feel that if X ruled through intimidation and heads up a corporation, you should follow in his footsteps. 

In fact, imitating bad behavior isn't the key to success. Leaders who behave badly have learned how to succeed despite their behavior, not because of it. Keep in mind that leadership is a skill. If you really want to, you can master the skill, and along the way you will be building a self whose maturity, balance, and wisdom will serve you for a lifetime. 

Deepak Chopra MD, FACP, founder of The Chopra Foundation and co-founder of The Chopra Center for Wellbeing, is a world-renowned pioneer in integrative medicine and personal transformation, and is Board Certified in Internal Medicine, Endocrinology and Metabolism.  He is a Fellow of the American College of Physicians and a member of the American Association of Clinical Endocrinologists. Chopra is the author of more than 80 books translated into over 43 languages, including numerous New York Times bestsellers. His latest books are Super Genes co-authored with Rudolph Tanzi, PhD  and Quantum Healing (Revised and Updated): Exploring the Frontiers of Mind/Body Medicine.  www.deepakchopra.com