What it feels like to be laughed at by shop assistants, crying in a changing room... in nothing but your pants.

Hot, rage-filled tears streamed down my face, as I stood there in my pants, unforgiving lights spotlighting all the bits of my flesh I'd been made to hate.

I wanted to tear it off. Grab big chunks of it and rip it from my body.

Why was this what I looked like? Why, just for one day, couldn't I feel like the other girls felt.

Why was I the one being laughed at by the shop assistants, their silhouettes visible through the thin changing room curtain.

This is the story of something that happened to me. And as humiliating as it felt at the time - now I'm glad it happened.

Because it formed the basis of the thing I'm here to give you today.

It's a tool I wish I'd had when I felt at my lowest.

So - let me take you back to where it began.

If we are connected on social media, you may have seen me discuss some of the things that happened to me in the long and exhausting battle to like my body.

?I know what it's like to feel like you don't fit in; like style and fashion is for other people… but not for you.?

?I know what it's like to feel so self-conscious that you dread going to the beach, or you turn down invitations.?

?And so when a new client came to me recently and told me she had turned down an invite because of the way she felt about herself, all of those experiences and memories came flooding back to me.?

I hate the thought of other women feeling the way I did.?

One summer, my cousin was getting married. I was around a size 18-20 at the time (so what, a number is just a label)… but I could not find a single outfit to wear.?

I'm an editor by trade, but I struggle to sum up in words the deep feelings of humiliation, shame and disgust I'd been taught from a young age to have about my body.

It had started when I was about 5.

We were getting costumes made for a dance concert and as I stood there in my little pink pants, not a care in the world, the costume designer said 'you're too fat.'

I remember that moment so clearly because it was the start of a very bad relationship with my body.

It was the moment I realised - OH. I'm wrong...

I should have a care in the world - and it should be the fact I'm 'fat'.

I have a body, but somehow my having of that body has got messed up.

I've done something bad.

I am bad.

I should spend my life rectifying this terrible crime. I should spend every second of every day thinking about it; punishing myself and missing out. I should spend all my money on crazy fads and miracle cures.

Fast-forward through endless crash diets, daily self-loathing, adults telling me to lose weight, kids bullying me at school, people taking advantage of my lack of self-esteem and and...

Here I was again, nearly 20 years later, standing in my pants listening to the shop assistants snickering about the Whale Who Had to go to A Wedding, feeling a familiar wave of humiliation wash over me.

I wanted it to pick me up and wash me right away.

And maybe that sounds dramatic to some.

But I know there will be others reading this with tears in their eyes, or a jolt of knowing in their tummies. They know exactly what I'm talking about.

They, like me, have probably wasted years living in a ‘one day’ state.

One day when I've lost weight.

One day when I fit the standard…?then?I'll go after the opportunities I deserve and wear the clothes I love.?

Honesty is the best policy, and so being completely open and honest with you - it took A LOT of work to become the 'confident' Sam you see today.

It took A LOT of undoing.

It took A LOT of remembering that none of that sh*t was ever mine to carry in the first place.

I hand it back to the costume designer.

I hand it back to the shop assistants who laughed at me.

It was never about me - it was about their own relationships with themselves, existing in a society that taught them to hate their bodies too.

I am so grateful these things happened to me, because they gave me my purpose.

Helping other women feel strong and confident, remember who they are and wear what they like.

And with that in mind, I have a gift for you.

Summer is legit the worst time of year if you struggle with body confidence.

Does panic set in every time you have to dress for hot weather?

Feel conscious about your tummy/thighs/arms?

I used to HATE summer.?

I felt so self-conscious that I’d do anything I could to get out of going out in the heat and risk having my flesh on show.?

It breaks my heart to think there are other wonderful women out there missing fun times they deserve because of {quote unquote} 'bingo wings.'

Last summer, I put together this guide to help you.?

It was really popular and I’ve had a lot of feedback about how much it’s helped.?

So - I’ve dusted it off again.

Someone told me I should be charging for it, she found it that comforting.

But that would defeat the object of what it's about.

I want as many women who need this to have access to it.

You deserve body confidence whether you can spare cash for an e-book or not.

I created this guide because I see so many incredible women ‘one-daying’ themselves out of great outfits, opportunities, fun. And they deserve to see how magical, beautiful and brilliant they are right now, today.?

Here's the guide - please do me a favour and share it with just one other person you think might need it.