What is Executive Communication, Anyway?

And why does it sometimes feel like an impenetrable magic box?

Dear Readers,

If you’re like me and other professional women I know, you’ve had some not-so-fun interactions with the concept of “executive communication.”

Earlier in my career it looked like being underestimated for leadership roles on account of my alleged lack of “gravitas" (aka male chromosome-driven huskiness).

Gravitas, Executive Presence, and the like are subconsciously (or consciously) used against people who don’t fit the exact physical mold that certain roles have held in our society since time immemorial.

And since we don’t fit the bias-ridden mold, we must lack these essential characteristics for leadership, right? WRONG.

And while we can’t wave our magic wands today and wipe out thousands of years of structural power systems, we can take a closer look at what impactful communication really is, and how it can be had by all. Let’s break it down into some foundational elements, just in time for those sometimes-complicated holiday get-togethers!

• What’s the purpose?Authentic connection. If we’re not seeking to connect, understand, and (where appropriate) influence others in an honest and well-intentioned way, what’s the point? Make sure your intentions are in the right place and the rest flows so much more easily.

• What are the most important ingredients?Curiosity and integrity. When we are curious, we come from a place of genuine interest in learning about the other person and what they have to share. When we act with integrity, we are honest, thoughtful, and intentional in our communication with others. They know that even when we’re under pressure, they can count on us to do as right as we can by ourselves, our relationships, our work, and our broader communities.
• How do we achieve these?Empathy and Listening. Empathy, in this context, means caring about and being able to understand the perspectives of others. When we are truly listening to understand, we focus intently on the verbal and non-verbal communication of others, ask questions, and seek to clarify and deepen connection. We avoid offering unsolicited feedback, interrupting, and “correcting” them. When we need to set a firm boundary or deliver unfortunate news, we do so with clarity and humanity. We do not avoid the challenging conversations—we understand that healthy conflict resolution is essential in life.
• How do we know if we’re getting this “right?People trust us. And they want to be in relationship with us (whether at work or in our personal lives). Trust is the foundation of all successful relationships, whether personal or professional. When people trust each other, they don’t get bogged down in the fine print and waste time planning mitigations for every possible negative outcome of their relationship. They trust that they can work through problems and disagreements as they arise on a solid foundation of integrity and empathy.

• Let’s put it all together.Here’s a real-life example from the real estate development world where I spent 20 years of my professional life. Communicating with investors and lenders requires a high level of both technical and executive communication skill. It requires having a solid understanding of your project(s) and key elements, risks, and drivers of success.Communication with financial partners needs to be conducted at the right cadence, with the right level of detail, and with the right tone. A tone that conveys forthrightness, dedication to shared success, and a “steady hand on the tiller”—a lovely sailing reference a lender once made about my project leadership. Ultimately, investors and lenders want to know you have the skills, judgment, and agility to lead the team and project successfully to the finish line, and they need to trust in your ability to mitigate risks as they arise. This doesn’t mean that there can never be uncertainty or (sometimes significant) challenges. It means that they know you’re actively managing risks and problems strategically and that you’ll keep them informed (as needed) of issues that you are working to resolve. When your financial partners at work trust your ability, judgment, integrity, and communication skills, they are pleasant and easy to work with. Proactive, useful, effective communication saves everyone so much time, stress, and conflict. It takes effort and energy to establish clear and authentic connections with our colleagues but it pays off exponentially over time.

Ready to go out into the world and cultivate some seriously connected, meaningful, influential relationships?

#selfpossession #leadership #stepintoyourpower #carahouser

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