What exactly is 'self-care'?

We hear a lot about this now. I have to confess that I’m of the generation whose toes curl at the term. I’m not completely stiff upper lip, but certainly of the ‘don’t make a fuss, don’t worry I’ll be all right’ tendency. The problem is that business owners and leaders like me are also just not very good at looking after ourselves, we’re woeful.

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What it’s not:

·????? Giving in. I was recently inspired by the story of Felix Klieser who plays the French horn without arms! He uses his left foot. If I didn’t have arms it wouldn’t occur to me to even think of playing the French horn

·????? Jumping to the conclusion that we have mental health issues or looking for a label. Some labels seem much more acceptable these days, even sought after, eg ADHD.

·????? Giving up. If we’re at that point, we really do need to get some help.

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What it is:

·????? Knowing ourselves and what we need

·????? Recognising the world is a tough place and always will be

·????? Learning how to take our place in it

·????? Knowing what success means for us, and this will be shaped by our stage in life

·????? Finding a place where we can do well and be ourselves

·????? Surrounding ourselves with the right people be they friends or colleagues. I was reminded of this when I attended a lunch this week with people with whom I had worked over 30 years ago and how I had such a good work experience because of how they nurtured me

·????? Knowing when to ask for help

·????? Getting the right help, not self-diagnosing based on something you’ve just read on social media.

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I’ve done a lot of stupid things recently – forgotten my passport going on holiday, got my phone hacked, driven when I was tired. I’m not going to beat myself up or catastrophise – early onset dementia?? They’re signs that I need to get myself into a place where I slow down, think things through, give myself the best chance of getting through life in one piece and enjoying it.

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For people like me, we need to find a different way of framing the signs that tell us we need to do something. Calling the problems ‘mental health issues’ is not what I want to hear. That’s not because I am unsympathetic to people with mental health problems, it’s not a label I want to apply to myself.

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If you’re a business leader or owner who feels they can’t step back from the business to take some time out that you need, why not? Are you bad at delegating? Would your staff see you as a control freak? Do you think your senior team wouldn’t be able to cope without you? Or is it even the case - whisper it – that the aspects of your personal style which are getting in your way are also making it hard to for others around you to look after themselves?

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These are all issues in themselves and are more than likely contributing to your needing to get help. I’ve come across all this many times in the people I have coached, so I know it doesn’t have to stay like that.

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?#selfcare #health #wellbeing #success #performance