What exactly defines a "Bad" boss?

I've certainly encountered my share of difficult bosses. But what truly makes a boss "mean"?

Is it someone who enforces rules, exercises authority, and says “no” when we’re hoping for a different answer, especially in moments that feel crucial to us? Someone who isn’t flexible when we bend or break the rules, or who doesn’t cut us slack after we’ve been late multiple times despite warnings? Someone who doesn’t have time to listen to our personal issues because they’re swamped with work themselves? Or someone who has to follow orders from their superiors, even if it means risking their own job because of our actions or mistakes? Is it the bearer of bad news, the person who has to fire and hire, who we consider "mean"?

Or...

Is a "mean" boss truly someone who is a jerk? Someone who berates you in front of your peers, is offensive and disrespectful, and seems determined to sabotage your efforts, setting you up to fail? Someone who forces you to work ungodly hours, refuses to credit your work, lies about you, and assassinates your character? Discrimination, sexual harassment—these are serious issues that define a bad boss, not simply disliking their mood, authority, or decisions.

The topic of horrible bosses has been discussed so much that I worry it’s losing its impact. Are we too quick to label someone a "bad" boss for not meeting our personal desires? Being told “no,” having your ideas rejected, or being asked to follow a dress code doesn’t make someone a bad boss. Sometimes, it’s about accepting directions, whether you like them or not. We don’t always know what’s happening behind the scenes that leads management to make decisions we don’t agree with—and we don’t need to know everything. Otherwise, we’d be the ones in charge, not them.

In my past jobs, I’ve seen real examples of bad bosses: arguments, manipulation, sexual harassment, discrimination, verbal abuse, substance abuse, jealousy, and bitterness from those in power. To me, that’s what defines a bad boss—not stressing over what you’re told to do or not do. If I have to repeatedly remind someone of the same thing, eventually, I might develop an attitude or tone with them too. But should that really drive someone to quit?

When I started my first business, I did so because I wanted to create a positive work environment—a place where people felt safe, supported in their professional growth, and had a good work-life balance. But I’ve also faced challenges with employees who didn’t take directions well, who seemed to need constant explanations to understand their tasks. Some took advantage of our flexibility, and others expressed dissatisfaction even after receiving multiple advances on their salaries. I’ve encountered situations where, despite providing all the necessary tools, employees never voiced their needs or challenges. And when asked, they said nothing. One of the key questions I ask now is: “How do you feel about taking directions from a woman?” (if it applies to a male). I want to know if they can accept leadership, regardless of gender. I’m willing to give everything to my team, but in return, I expect accountability, reliability, and integrity.

In the end, it’s not about what generation you belong to. It’s about having grit and respect for your work obligations, whether you’re single, married, or have a family. If you’re not responsible enough to do your job and hold onto it, how can anyone trust you with their company? That’s why recruiters are concerned about short stints on a resume—they’re a red flag in your employment history.

Ultimately, the conversation about "bad bosses" requires nuance and perspective. It's important to distinguish between legitimate grievances and the challenges that come with being managed in a professional setting. While true misconduct, harassment, and abuse of power are serious issues that deserve attention and action, we must also recognize that sometimes the discomfort we feel is simply part of being held accountable. A good work environment fosters respect, understanding, and clear communication, but it also requires us to accept direction and responsibility. As we navigate our careers, it’s crucial to balance our expectations with a commitment to professionalism and personal growth. After all, it's not just about finding a great boss—it's about becoming a great employee.