How I learned everything that happens in your life is FOR you, and not to you, and how you can have that attitude, too! Click on the picture to read.

Let’s start with a brief snapshot of my childhood, my parents, and my four siblings. My guess is, that growing up with non-attentive parents may have caused some my insecurity, worry and anxiety that I used to struggle with for years. 

My dad was a very kind man. He worked hard to support our family. When he was home we didn’t get much attention from him because he was always working in his front or backyard. Don’t get me wrong, working in his yard was a wonderful hobby that filled him with joy, and it was a healthy way for him to relieve stress. Later, when I had my own home I found myself enjoying this very same hobby! I forgot to mention, his yard was beautiful!

My mother was a stay at home mom. Her way of escaping was by reading anything and everything she could get her hands on. Getting her attention was a rare occurrence! I remember times, wanting to grab the newspaper or book away from her so I could see her face and maybe have a conversation with her.

Lets, fast forward! I married in 1978 and in 1980 I gave birth to my beautiful, sweet daughter, Nicole. 

My marriage was rocky to say the least… nothing physical but verbally abusive. He was an alcoholic. I will spare you all the details just know it was turbulent. After 15 years of marriage my husband decided that he wanted to be single and refused to join me with a counselor. He wanted out of the marriage so there I was, getting a divorce with a For Sale sign in our front yard!

Divorce is like the death of a loved one. For me fear, worry, anxiety and grief set in immediately. Fear that I would have to live with only one income. The grieving process set in as I realized after 15 years, our family unit was truly broken without resolution. Seeing and feeling the pain my daughter had to endure was heart wrenching. 

I would say that any age for a child to go through something like this is hard, but Nicole was twelve, and it was especially hard - she was strong willed and just hitting that rebellious age.

My daughter and I moved into a nice, two bedroom apartment in Northridge.

After a few months living in our new apartment, we endured two very difficult hardships:

1. I lost my dad and Nicole lost her Pop-Pop. (My mother had passed away 2 years prior.)
2. The 1994 Northridge Earthquake hit! It was terrifying!

I would have much rather denied the pain and the whole grieving process but I knew I had to go through it. I not only felt my pain, I felt my daughters too.

In our complex a few places were yellow and red-tagged meaning unlivable. Our place was yellow tagged. Needless to say we lost everything that was glass, TV, glass tables, a hutch, dishes, glassware and much more. It was pretty devastating but I felt blessed that we were not hurt. There were a lot of lives lost in that quake!

I think it was around this time that I decided to have a few pity parties, pity parties by myself! I remember asking God if He thought I was Job in the bible.

It was during this time when I met Jim Uptain, a very nice gentleman that worked for the same company I worked, General Telephone. (Now Verizon) He reached out and offered Nicole and myself a place to stay in Thousand Oaks until we found another place to live. We couldn’t be picky because we were not the only ones getting out of dodge and looking for a place. We did find a place, not to our liking but it was temporary. Jim and I started dating which was kind of tough because my daughter had a hard time with it. Remember she was 12 going on 13.

Many POSITIVE things happened in 1997. I married Jim. During our marriage Jim not knowing it, helped me build my self-esteem and my confidence back up, the confidence I had lost during my first marriage. He taught me that I shouldn’t care so much about what other people thought of me. That sure felt good when I allowed that to happen.

A couple years after we were married, we bought a lovely home in Thousand Oaks. I always treasured my home because I always felt that home is where the heart is; a place where family and friends could visit and enjoy each other. I especially loved decorating our home during the Christmas season and having family and friends over.

I don’t remember the year but I transferred into the Customer Care Department within GTE where I took calls to help resolve customers with their phone problems. This department also pushed sales. Even though I didn’t understand much about all the phone features and packages we offered, I wasn’t afraid to jump right in and start selling. In a very short time I became the 2nd TOP seller in California winning awards and holding 2nd year after year. I enjoyed all the extra perks, such as all paid vacations - Puerto Rico, Puerto Vallarta, and Las Vegas to name a few. I especially liked the extra income.

When Verizon took over GTE everything changed. As time went on my job became more and more stressful. I was working 10 hours a day and 6 days a week. My doctor had me on medication for high blood pressure and he could not get it down so I decided to retire early after 27 years. Retiring felt REALLY GOOD!

After retiring and with my success in sales, I wanted to do something that I was passionate about. I remember my mother always telling me that I would be good in real estate. I thought now would be a good time to start my new career in real estate. I studied, took the final exam and passed on my first try. That was a relief. My new career started in 2005. Yahoo! I was so excited and could not wait to sell my first home!

Although my daughter did not like Jim at first, she grew to love and respect him as her dad over the years. He was a very generous and a supportive man. He challenged her to see if she could get into Art Center College of Design in Pasadena and told her that he would pay her tuition if she did.

I don’t believe that he thought she would get in for a few reasons: 1. It is VERY hard to get accepted there. 2. Nicole was very social and it would take her a lot of hard work and discipline to buckle down. She did just that, got all the credentials needed out of the way and took classes at Art Center at Night to get her portfolio together.

Although, he was very generous, he really didn’t believe he would end up paying her tuition (tuition is very expensive to say the least.) She got in, graduated and now she is an award winning, published graphic designer. Need a designer? Check out her work! I am very proud of her.

Jim was also very stressed from working so much overtime at Verizon. He decided to retire and try something new. He started his own business, a motorcycle repair shop. He invested with the worst type of person you would ever want to share a business with. I expressed my concerns about his partner early on and more so when I saw the business crumbling. Long story short, he lost the business and $400,000 of his retirement money. Needless to say, I was feeling many different emotions. I would definitely say I felt angry and worried about our future and our finances. I felt trapped in that I could not express my emotions with him because I knew how terrible he felt inside. So I felt both angry and empathetic. I would just sit alone and pray that my heart would not get hardened. I have to admit that it somewhat did and I am sure it showed up in unhealthy ways.

Shortly after losing his business we heard the horrible news. Jim was diagnosed with stage 4 Melanoma skin cancer that had metastasized into his organs. God let us have him for 4 more weeks. Now I was really scared, sad, anxious, and somewhat numb. I remember thinking, what do I do now? I again, not only felt my pain but I felt Nicole's as well. She really got attached to him and considered him a father. I think feeling her pain was worse.

I was talking to God A LOT! I specifically remember telling God that I am not like Job in the Bible nor do I want to be like Job. Needless to say, I short sold our home, downsized and leased a town home in Westlake Village. Again, it felt very scary and lonely dealing with another loss. I kept thinking am I going to be ok?

I continued with my real estate and most of the time I was worrying about closing deals and making money. My daughter did help out financially but not as I was custom too. My doctor put me on stronger blood pressure medicine along with medication for high cholesterol.

It was 7 years after Jim Passed away that I opened another chapter and reconnected with an old love from 40 years ago, Otto.

Otto's home was in a very remote part of Oregon, about 1 hour from Bend, Oregon but he worked and lived on his boat in Catalina Island most of the year. He would travel to the mainland almost every weekend to see me in Thousand Oaks. Everything was great in the beginning but after about a year I thought it would be best if we shared time together as friends. Otto wanted to get married so he was not a happy camper. He tried and tried to make it work. I visited him in Oregon a couple of times. While there, it came clear to me to remain just friends.

While in Oregon, I ran out of my blood pressure medicine. I figured it would be ok to wait until I got home to refill my prescription. When I got back home I totally forgot about refilling my meds.

Lesson learned, stay up to date on medications and health check-ups. I had a hemorrhagic stroke (a bleed in the brain) and I was in the ICU for the whole month of December of 2016. I missed being home for Christmas.

I feel so blessed to have had my daughter with me through the whole ordeal and that I did not die or have any physical damage. The neurologist said that if I had not come in to the ER when I did, I would not be here to tell my story.

I am sorry about the picture but I wanted to show the severity of the stroke.

After I recovered from my stroke, Otto asked my daughter and I to move to Oregon. He thought it would help with my stress because the lifestyle there was much slower and it was a more affordable place to live. We didn’t wait long. We packed everything we owned and moved.

It was a treat waking up every morning to deer wanting their breakfast and then feeding all the chipmunks in the afternoon. It was definitely a different but enjoyable lifestyle! It did take some getting used to it though!

While living in Oregon, exactly one year after my stroke, I was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer. Otto had prostate cancer for 10 years and was told around the time that his cancer was spreading rapidly throughout his body. We were an hour away from a hospital which I thought was insane, especially in the winter with all the heavy snow. While in Oregon I had three surgeries in three weeks on my left breast. The surgeon could not clear the margins. At that point, I decided that it was in my best interest to come back to California so that I could be minutes away from a good hospital and so that I could also choose from the best oncologists and surgeons.

After completing my chemotherapy in California, my surgeon wanted me to have an MRI to see if there was any cancer left before removing my left breast. Good news, he couldn’t see any cancer but he did see a spot on my right breast.

He encouraged me, stating that if he had to bet on it being cancer, that the odds were slim but he needed do a biopsy to make sure. I wish I would of bet him big bucks!

The pathology report came back stating that I had cancer in my right breast, a whole different kind of cancer than the other two cancers in my left breast. It was devastating news to say the least but in retrospect it was truly a blessing that they caught it. So, I had a double mastectomy and reconstruction. Boy, was it ever painful! I mean, excruciating pain!!!

Shout out to my sister, Lisa and my BFF Julie. They went over and beyond to help get me through this. I have no words to describe my gratitude! Love you guys so much! Now, 9 months later I am doing great. Sadly to say, Otto didn't make it. He passed away in August 2018.

During this whole ordeal is when I decided to surrender to God. Whatever HE decided to have me go through and whatever the outcome, I would be okay as long as it is for HIS glory.

I overcame the concept of being like Job and I trust GOD and I know now that I am in HIS good hand’s. I now have peace and contentment, something that was missing throughout my whole life!

I feel mentally strong and I know that I can accomplish anything when it is in HIS will and time. You see, if I had not gone through these tragic things, I would not be the strong person that I am today; the person that God intended me to be all along.

I have always had a passion for real estate but I am now driven in a different way. I now know that the Lord has and always will provide. I no longer worry about making ends meet. Truly knowing and trusting this has decreased my stress level immensely and my blood pressure is now under control. Surrendering to Him has been truly transformative in every way of my being and lifestyle.

Now that I am fully recovered, I am eager to continue in my real estate career helping my past clients and I am looking forward to creating new relationships. I am excited to be back with Coldwell Banker in Westlake Village.

I want you to know that, it's ALL about YOU, my client, making sure YOU are content and trusting me without worry, allowing me to give you 100 percent!

I understand how stressful buying and selling a home can be. It is my goal to help minimize any stress and anxiety that might come along during this time.

Also, I strongly believe in giving back. I give a part of my commission to the Cancer Society and to L.I.F.E. animal rescue where I volunteer. If you choose to partner with me, you get to choose a charity and I’ll make a donation in your name!

Please call 805 657-2173 or email me, [email protected] so we can get together and see if we are a good fit. I look forward to working with you!

Sincerely,

Jeanette Uptain

Realtor | CalBRE #01495856

Coldwell Banker, Westlake Village | 883 S. Westlake Blvd. Westlake Village, CA 91361