What Every Leader Can Learn From My Brilliant Dad

When did you last think about the lessons you have learned from someone significant in your life? I encourage you to think about what you have learned from important people around you. Yours could be from anyone?prominent in your life, maybe someone who raised you, a neighbor, a guardian, a teacher, or a family member. Here are mine about my Dad, aka?The Boss, whose 75 years of life?we celebrated last week .

8 Life Lessons from?The Boss:

1.Scrapbooks are magical

My Dad kept stacks of scrapbooks with newspaper cuttings, bus tickets, and photographs from our adventures growing up.??“On this day five years ago” is the main reason I stay on social media platforms like Facebook. The memories from this day one, three, or ten years ago are great grounding moments for me. As much as I love looking back at all of the dusty scrapbooks of photos my dad kept in his garage, it is far more convenient to get a daily digital reminder of years gone by. Sometimes I’ve even completely forgotten a particular event or moment. I love to end my day checking social media and reminiscing about places, friends, and family from days gone by. You can add this to your routine for your work life too. Jump back in your calendar to this day one year ago. Where were you—who was on your team, what product had you just launched, what challenges have you overcome? You can also proactively set reminders so you memorialize the first anniversary of a product launch, customer success, or financial milestone. Celebrating your achievements and remembering them keeps you and your leadership team focused on the right spot.?

2.When you haven't had something, you appreciate it even more?

My Dad had a very strict upbringing. Our celebrant who wrote Dad's eulogy observed something that had never struck me before...Dad lived his life to the absolute fullest because growing up he wasn't allowed to.?You might be able to relate if you have ever had a significant sports injury. As soon as you are healed you attack that sport with a new found vigor. Now what if you applied that to your whole life, what if what you take for granted today suddenly went away....what if you could in advance appreciate it today before you loose it?

3.Not every question has to be answered

Conversations are optional. Consider that every topic is not compulsory for you to take part in. My Dad’s conversation?exit strategy was to stare out of the window or look up to the sky and say “Soon be dark” even if it was 11pm at night! This was his signal to us he was ready to talk about something else.?

How often have you wished you had an exit button you could push to remove yourself from a conversation? Maybe changing the subject or simply saying?“I don’t want to talk about this right now"?will give you the break you need.?Or, in honor of Phil Wright, feel free to gaze out the window and utter?“…Soon be dark!”

4.The Power of a Poem

My Dad could rhyme! At important moments of our lives he wrote us poems that shared just how he was feeling or how proud he was of us. His wit and wisdom coming through in his poems that he hand wrote and mailed to us around the world. Far more meaningful and memorable as we knew the thought he put into them and now we treasure them even more.?For his celebration of life service last week, together with my brother and sister, we wrote a poem?"An Ode to The Boss" .?It is amazing how once you put your mind to it - you can capture great messages in just a few lines. - Really - you don't have to be Chance the Rapper for this to work!!?It can be good at work too. It landed me my first big promotion when I worked at House of Fraser department store.?I wanted to apply for a job at aged 22 I thought was far to big for me: being part of the management team opening a new store in Swindon. I wrote my application titled?“Recipe for Success”?as a poem and had to present it to the board of directors.?It worked, I got the job, ( but that’s another story….)?Why not try telling your story in a different way next time you want to share something at work, on stage, or in your social life? (...and now we have websites that quickly give us rhyming words for any phrase!)

5.Learning to use your ears?

I distinctly remember watching my dad in social situations. He’d be stood surrounded by many people and he’d rock back on his feet a little and glance discreetly at a other of people in addition to those he was in deep conversation with. He’d know just the right time to move between groups of conversations, politely excusing himself and joining a different group, inserting himself just at the right time with a question, comment, or funny story.?“How do you listen to three conversations at once Dad?”?we as kids would often ask. Eventually many years later he told me his technique… he’d listen out for key words, and that would pique his interest and use those moments to shift between one group and the next without appearing rude or awkward. I’ve tried to master that when I speak at conferences and events and need to meet many people, but I’m still working on getting my ADHD brain not to get too distracted in the moment!! We’ve all seen the brilliant leaders who talk to everyone, know how to spark conversation with anyone, and don’t stick with their buddies— conversely, we know too well when the opposite is true!

6.Teenagers need to work!

While neither my Dad or Mum ever told us this outright, they clearly encouraged us to get part time jobs while at school. You only have to look at my?first seven jobs? to see all of them were as a teenager. It gave me a peek into the world of work and what I did and did not want to do later in life and of course the financial independence and freedom was amazing. Whether you have teenagers of your own or know a neighborhood kid, help them figure out how they can find ways to earn money independently.

7.You’ve gotta live your life.?

First, I can’t write that phrase without Ultra Nate’s 90s hit record getting stuck in my head. But anyway, it was a motto my Dad lived by. Too often when I’m talking to leaders they tell me all the things they are doing for other people, or trying to keep others happy at the expense of their own stress levels.?“You’ve gotta live your life”?was the first response my Dad had when I told him Microsoft had offered me a promotion to move from England to Seattle.?It was my Dad helping me to be?Thoughtfully Ruthless?before I’d even coined the phrase and written the book! You have to know how take care of yourself so you can keep taking care of others.?

8.Be Grateful: You Woke Up Today

I wrote about Peloton instructor Alex Tousaint's famous catchphrase?“You woke up today. You are blessed!”??In my third book?Words That Work. Just like Tousaint, my Dad would often say?“Well I’m still here!”?when others inquired how he was doing. I can't yet imagine getting to the age of my parents?where a large part of my social life is going to say goodbye to friends and colleagues at their funerals and celebrations of their lives most weekends. That gives you a great perspective of the power of being here in this moment right now today. So how can we embrace it sooner?

Now the real question is: what lessons are?you?teaching others and are how are you creating your own legacy ? It is never to early to start.

Dedicated to growing your business,

Val

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