Putting in someone else’s shoes?

Have you tried to put yourself in someone else’s situation? To understand them better or to relive their situation? If your answer is yes, you have experienced the feeling of ‘empathy’. Empathy is a word that is used often by many people.

So, what is Empathy? For me, empathy is a feeling. Empathy is the glue that holds our communities and relationships together. Everyone’s quality of life increases when we make an effort to understand others and assist them in any way we can. Empathy has long-reaching implications that go well beyond the individual with whom we are empathizing. It has an impact on our health, social abilities, and even the world in which we live. When we empathize with others, we try to see a situation from their perspective and imagine what we’d feel if we were them. Understanding this feeling, helps us to act compassionately towards them.

Why is empathy important?

Empathy is crucial because it allows us to understand how others are experiencing so that we can respond appropriately. Being a psychology student, I think a lot about empathy in my personal as well as professional life. I often wonder whether I am being empathetic, how to be compassionate without emotionally exhausting others, and so on. People who lack empathy tend to go through life without considering how others feel or what they might be thinking. Each of us has a unique viewpoint. We all have moods, feelings of grief and hurt, joy and melancholy. And when we just see things from our own point of view, we are severely limited. It’s easy to make assumptions and jump to conclusions without taking the time to examine another. If you show empathy towards another person, they feel understood, heard and as though they belong. Let’s be honest, who doesn’t want to feel understood?

What exactly does it mean to be empathetic?

An empathetic person is someone who can share another person’s feelings. So if you feel sad when you see a painting of a woman weeping over a dying lover, that’s because you can imagine what it’s like to lose someone you love.

When you use empathy to figure out why someone is angry or why an adolescent acts out, you can discover that something happened that seems to be upsetting them. You can ask inquiries regarding someone’s conduct or emotional condition instead of reacting to their emotions or becoming defensive. Although discipline may still be necessary, the individual will feel respected and heard if empathy is used first. As a result, they will be more willing to accept responsibility towards their actions.

If in a relationship people refuse to see things from each other’s point of view, problems are likely to arise. No two people will ever think the same way, and no two individuals will ever have the same experiences. Both partners in a relationship contribute their own perspectives, life experiences, and challenges to the table. People in relationships will likely feel neglected and uncared for if they do not take the time to try to understand one another’s feelings and opinions. Nurture, care, and understanding are all necessary components of a healthy partnership. Without empathy and understanding, a friendship or sexual relationship will soon fall apart.

Five Things worth Knowing About Empathy

• Empathy is primitive

Many creatures have shown evidence of the most fundamental type of empathy — “emotional contagion,” or sharing another being’s emotions — implying that it is innate in humans. “We are biologically programmed to have empathy. It’s something we can’t suppress,” says Frans de Waal, a primatologist at Emory University in Atlanta. The ability to experience other people’s emotions allows parents to be more sensitive to their children’s needs, increasing the likelihood that their genes will survive. This basic empathy also motivates us to look after our friends and relatives, fostering collaboration and ensuring the survival of our tribe.

• Empathy isn’t automatic

Despite its deep and ancient roots, human empathy can vary in quality depending on the situation. According to German researchers Michaela Riediger and Elisabeth Blanke in the 2020 Annual Review of Developmental Psychology, several studies have suggested that as we become older, we lose our ability to feel empathy. That could be because empathy necessitates cognitive abilities such as paying attention, processing information, and storing it in memory, all of which are resources that dwindle with age. When a topic of conversation is more important or enjoyable for them — in other words, when they care more — older folks can perform similarly well in those skills.

• Empathy is often selfish

Empathy itself tends to be selfish. It’s usually directed toward those we care about the most — reflecting those evolutionary drives to care for children, relatives and others similar to ourselves.

• Empathy can be learned

Empathy is a skill that may be honed through practice. People who believe they can “develop” empathy, according to Zaki, will put forth greater effort to show empathy in difficult situations. Other studies have suggested that meditating can help people develop empathy, or at the very least increase their ability to discern emotions from facial expressions.

• Empathy only goes so far

Empathy, in its most basic form as emotional contagion, may fail to lead to altruistic conduct because altruism frequently entails some sort of sacrifice, according to Jesse Prinz, a philosopher at the City University of New York’s Graduate Center. “Every hand rises up when I ask my pupils how many of you have donated money to a homeless person,” he says. “How many of you have crossed the street to do so, or if you notice someone who isn’t directly in your path?” I ask. Often, there will be no hands at all.” “Empathy just doesn’t get people out in the streets,” he says.

In our homes, our schools, and our businesses, empathy is the missing link. People can be cruel to one another as they get older. If we begin teaching empathy in elementary and middle school, we may grow up to be more loving, tolerant, and understanding of one another. Therefore, how a person perceives another person can be influenced by empathy to a great extent.

Being empathetic towards others will help us understand each other’s suffering and create peace and harmony in the world.

References:

https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/five-things-worth-knowing-about-empathy.html