What drives you to change?

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Just a little under a year ago I invited my bosses at my former company out to dinner. This was something that I had a habit of doing every 6 months to ensure that my path was (still) right, and our goals and visions were (still) aligned. Furthermore, these meetings also served the purpose of strategically discussing my future in the organization.

After a brief introduction on the subject in matter, it was clear for both parties sitting at the table, that wherever this conversation was going, it was going to end up with us toasting to the future and all the extraordinary successes it would bring for all of us.

As predicted, by the time dinner was over, I had just made the biggest commitment that I had ever done in my then 26 years of existence. Both me and bosses agreed that we would help each other reach our individual and company goals, and stick together for the upcoming three and a half years. If all went to plan, I would be turning 30 which seemed as an appropriate time to reevaluate my future.

I would continue to help them make their company ever more successful contributing for their own personal growth objectives, and they would help me continue to develop myself into becoming an ever more honorable man, as well as aiming to reach my goal of having 1,000,000€ by 30.

And just like that, we had a plan; a clear vision on how we could get there; and so we continued striving onto our quest to success.

It just so happens, that life wasn’t meant to be that way. And as she tends to do when we think we’ve got it all figured out, she pulled her foot back - way back... Oliver Tsubasa-style back - and kick me right where it hurts.

Pause.

In order for you to fully be comprehensive on what just happened, it is paramount to be aware that this was the first time in my life that I had ever made a commitment that was larger than 12 months. The only time I had actually done a 12-month commitment before this was when I joined this company, and it was a commitment to myself, not to others! Being born as a millennial and being victim of all the symptoms that characterize this "corporate disease" (not my saying, of course), this was one of the biggest decisions I had ever made. Amongst other symptoms of this “disease”, I do have a hard time committing long-term (to basically anything); I have this underlying feeling of tangible extraordinariness (obviously); I believe there is a higher purpose for me in life (what’s the sense of it without one?!); and I want everything that is cut out for me to achieve in my entire spawn of life, to be achieved as of yesterday, free of charge (thanks a lot e-commerce!).

So, as you can see, when I say that life kicked me “right where it hurts”, I actually mean... “right in the nuts!”

Unpause.

Circumstance took over and just 6 months after that joyful and inspiring dinner, both parties involved in that love story have decided that it would be best if we would each go on our own ways.

After falling deeper into the existentialist hole from which I have been gradually climbing out of for the past 10 years, I was once again facing a two-way interjunction. And it’s in these moments that you really have a chance to appreciate life in its most simplest form: a binary code.

Every now and again, life tests our progressive discernment by making us face decisive binary choices.

In these moments where change is imminent, we are faced with deciding between what’s best for us and what’s easier for us. But like the saying goes: easy choices, hard life; hard choices, easy life.

And so I made the easy, but hard, choice of looking at this moment and deciding that I would take my future into my own hands and start living my life according to my own set of rules. And if for some years I was in doubt if I could or not do it, this time I would put myself to the test and decide to take a look at the cards life had just dealt me with.

And so it begins. A new life where, for the first time ever, I’m 100% accountable for everything I do. The good and the bad decisions. Now there is no boss, colleague, mother, father, brother, sister or friend to act upon when something doesn’t go to plan. Now, I carry myself into the future and face the ultimate question:

Am I able or not to live up to my own expectations?

Furthermore, will I be able or not to sustain this desire? Because after all the unicorns and rainbows of living a free life with no bosses, corporate jobs or strings attached, one does still have to face the money issue, and that’s where it gets tougher.

Despite this technicality, I have known for quite some time that my life would have to go through this testing phase. A period of my journey where I would take a leap of faith, adventure into the unknown and really put to the test my own expectation of doing something great and extraordinary.

Having now the need to reinvent my future, I ended up getting stuck on shit from the past. Almost like when you step on bubble gum. It’s not like your not moving ahead. It’s just that it’s freaking annoying having your foot get stuck to the floor, making that “shqwik” sound every time you take a step. And so I did to myself what I would do to that freaking bubble gum: I stopped walking and took the time to carefully take it out and wash the shoe off clean.

Growing up, I never felt really comfortable at school. Don’t get me wrong, I had a lot of friends and did enjoy the time that I spent in the social environment that school provides. But looking back in retrospective, it’s now easier to understand why in every parents-teacher night my teachers insisted on telling my parents “he has a lot of potential, but he’s not living up to it”. I never understood why we were learning the things we were being taught. And most of all, why did we have to learn so much theory that was so disconnected to our own individual life and wholesome living.

Ironically enough, this acts upon your upbringing - more than most would care to admit - and you're left with the idea around yourself that maybe you just don’t have what it takes to live up to the expectations of your teachers, your parents or society.

But growing older, having now done quite a few things that I can take pride on and give myself a tap on the back for (yes, you guessed it... I did learn how to tie my own shoes by myself), you begin to understand that the problem was greater in the circumstance than in the ability. The fact is,

it was probably more an inability of the ones who guided me to see where they lead me into, than actually me having an inability to perform and exceed standard expectations.

And as time moves forward and you become more and more critical of your existence, you begin to understand that, to a great extent, you’re just a product of circumstance.

Just think about it. Would you be the same person you are today if you by any chance had been brought up in a different environment? And I’m not suggesting at any point that you would be a better person. I’m really focusing on if you would be the same person or not. Would you?

Well, apparently not. At least according to Gladwell’s investigation on Outliers. And if Gladwell says so, I will definitely believe it. I mean, if success is a product of hard work and circumstance, we would have to agree that any other condition of achievement is valid to the same variables.

But life’s too short to dwell on circumstance and nobody likes a crybaby. No. So that’s when you take matters in your own hands. That’s when I took matters in my own hands. This not-fitting-into-school-environment is probably what has had me questioning myself for as long as I remember. And I for sure know that I’m not the only one that suffers from this. So why don’t the other people I know of that are like this decide to take control of their own lives and do like I did? Why do they refuse to change? And what about everybody else that I don’t know of that is going through the same? Have they decided to make change in their lives? If not, why? My guess is that there is only one out of two possible answers: either they are not conscious that it is a possibility for them, or simply they do not know how they can do it.

Society is getting number by the day.

And this is a problem I very much believe should be addressed. Just look at the habit of going to the toilet and with your smartphone and taking that time to check everything that’s going on in the world. It’s like your third eye is open (ba-dum-tsss) and all of a sudden, you’re accessing information regarding everything thats going on around you. But the problem is that, no matter how much awareness you get about everything that is happening out in the world, with your friends or with that person-you-follow-just-to-see-his-life-although-you-actually-hate-him, when you’re done with your business, you’re going to try and get up but you won’t be able to move because you can’t feel your legs! You’ve fell numb. And this is how I believe millions of people are living their life. It’s like they’re in auto-pilot and they don’t even realize that their heading into a deep storm.

Coming to this grinding halt conclusion, I face the question that will determine most of my life from now on. Am I going to continue to ignore that this is a problem of society and actively try and do something about it or am I going to just keep bitchin’ about it until I get my legs numb? In other words, am I heretic or am I a god-forsaken sheepwalker?

If you’re thinking “what the fuck does heretic mean?!”, don’t worry: I too had to google heretic (I’m literally doing it again just to be sure on what it means); or if you’re thinking “where does this guy come up with these questions?!”, don’t worry either: this question is not mine, I just stole it from someone because it would make me look smarter than I actually am and give me a chance to introduce the final part of this article.

In case you’re wondering, the question was verbalized, or better yet, written down by Seth Godin on his book Tribes (his talk about this is also extraordinary). In the book, he analyzes the principles behind building strong communities that have the ability to move together into a specific direction. And one of his most brilliant conclusions is that

although anyone could try and lead a tribe, not everyone can actually do it.

The ones who can, are heretics. These are the individuals that keep sticking their head out of the cue when they’re standing in line. These are the ones that question long habits defined by society. These are the people who get uncomfortable by following blind rules that were set out by others. In other words, these are the people that are getting shit done and making humanity leap forward.

And so I rise and I proudly say to myself “I am no sheepwalker!”.

I believe I’m heretic. For the third time on this post I will say it: I believe I was made for something extraordinary. And in doing so, I stand before another binary choice: do I live up to my beliefs and realize that this is bigger than myself and that it would be selfish to be quiet; or do I just ignore it and go on about it with my life as if I had not just come to this realization. Obviously, I will not back down (otherwise why would I have just written these past two pages, spent 11,90€ on a server and domain for a website and traveled half-way across the globe?).

I will actively enforce myself upon myself and live up to my beliefs.

I know that there are people shackled to the ground that need to free themselves and explore their full potential. My mission will be helping them doing it. And by doing so, maybe, and just maybe, I’ll be realizing mine own. And so I leave you with my final question:

Are you living up to your beliefs?