What Doesn’t Kill You : How My Brush With Death Inspired My Career Break

Must… Stop… Working…

I’ve always been known as fearless.?I’ll dive from just about any height into water, snowboard 70 mph, drive much faster than that, pick up venomous snakes, and knock on the door of any CEO without hesitation.?However, there is one thing that I have always been afraid of – not working. The thought of not striving toward the next goal, not pushing past the next obstacle, or not achieving professional progress has always frightened me.

I never took more than a weekend between jobs or more than one week off in twenty-five years of employment (other than for my honeymoon). I took great pride in this, wearing it like a badge of honor. I even recall viewing several generous payouts for vacation time not taken when leaving one company to move to the next as a personal trophy.

I didn’t do this begrudgingly. I thoroughly enjoyed my early years getting hands-on with the technology as a Solution Engineer at Compuware and Siebel.?My run as an Account Executive with Siebel, then Oracle, then Salesforce probably taught me more than an MBA could have.?My experience as an RVP of Sales at Salesforce was an eye-opener to the surprising variations of personal motivations, skill sets, and needs of successful enterprise account executives.

But it was during that eleventh year at Salesforce when I was on a backcountry elk hunt in Colorado that my life permanently changed and my perspective as a result. Long and incredible story short, I was rescued from under a tree in a foot of snow in minimal outerwear in sub-zero temperatures at 2:45 am.?This twelve-hour fight for survival and seven hours spent jackhammer-shivering under that tree with only my thoughts was a life-altering experience.?Because I was sure I would die, the miracle of survival immediately changed me and continues to affect me profoundly.

Knowing what I now know, I should have taken time away from work immediately, but I did not. Salesforce did more than make sabbaticals common. The company encouraged the practice, and I saw many take the plunge.?I even covered for my boss while he took one.?Despite the great things he and others had to say about their sabbaticals, I couldn’t fathom asking for one or taking one even though I had worked there for eleven years.

Instead, I did what I always did, and I forged ahead. I jumped to another career opportunity, rejoined the Siebel tribe, and dove into the world of Artificial Intelligence.?However, my near-death insights nagged me the entire year that followed.?While my wife said I was much more “present” at dinner and other family activities, I was systemically burnt out and needed a reboot to bring my best self to work and family. I realized that to assimilate the epiphanies discovered under that tree the previous year and to allow the experience to transform me into whom I needed to become, I’d need the time and space to turn off the auto-pilot mode I’d been on. This was when I decided it was finally time to take on one of my biggest fears yet, a break from work.

My Time Off

In late Spring of this year, I parted ways with C3 AI and have taken the last six months off to focus on my physical, mental, and emotional well-being and spend time with my teenage boys and wife.?One of the great things about living in Colorado is that you don’t need to leave the state to have an awesome rest, recuperation, and reinvention so that’s what I did. Here are a few things I learned and how I transformed along the way.

Novelty was an essential principle for me during the break.?To quote Andrew Huberman, “a good life is a progressive expansion of things that bring you pleasure.” I wanted to try new things, develop new healthy habits, leave old ones behind, and get better at things I’ve been doing “just ok” for a while.

We got our first dog, I hit the Salmonfly Hatch in the Gunnison Gorge for the first time, I shot under 90 on the golf course for the first time, and I volunteered by myself (vs. as part of a work function) for the first time, and even did some new things I couldn’t control like testing positive for Covid for the first time.

However, out of all the “firsts,” these three things stood out the most for me in terms of what I needed for my personal transformation.

Life is a Marathon – Might as Well Run One

At 50 years old and 205 pounds, this wasn’t something I could “just do,” but I had just been put on cholesterol meds, and there were probably other heart issues or drugs on the way if I didn’t develop some new and more consistent exercise habits.?I used Hal Higdon’s 19-week plan as my guide to complete the Denver Colfax Marathon.?My results were well short of a course record, but I was able to run every step of the way and post a respectable time. Here are a few things I learned along the way…

·????????You need to have a strong reason “why” you’re running a marathon.?If you're running to get in shape or lose weight, the awfulness of parts of this training will dump you out.?It had happened to me before.?You will need to take 13-mile training runs at some point in either sub-zero or triple-digit temperatures with missing toenails, blisters, and a sprained ankle, so the motivator needs to be strong.?Thinking weight loss is a good “why”? I gained 12 pounds.

·????????You should also “set a system” vs. set a goal.?Hal Higdon’s training plans are great but just like needing a good “why,” you need a system that provides little wins along the way to your race.?Adam Alter talks about how the goal-setting process is broken. With long-term goals particularly, you spend the large majority of the time in a failure state, awaiting what could be a mere second of success down the track. This can be a hollow and unrewarding process. Have you ever won a big deal in sales and wondered why you felt only an anti-climactic moment of relief instead of elation??I proactively peppered in some fantastic new “destination” runs, group runs with friends, and snowboard cross-training days into my plan. This created a system that ensured every day wasn’t just another day of failure because I couldn’t run a marathon yet.

Embracing Chief Home Officer

A few weeks before my break started, my wife took a full-time job for the first time in 17 years.?I jumped in feet first into my new role as CHO by cooking, cleaning, driving the boys around, raising a new puppy, completing a mountain of neglected honey-do’s, and solving all intraday emergencies.

It turns out I was a natural. And I found it incredibly enjoyable and rewarding. While I certainly borrowed from the “setting a system” structure I used for marathon training to allow myself time to get my golf game respectable and become a world-class fly-fisherman, the two most valuable developments were the improvement in my family’s diet and the depth to which I know my boys.

It’s hard to quantify how much happier and more comfortable I am as a parent. ?I’ve developed a much deeper relationship with my boys, and I can’t help but believe that it has made a sustaining positive impact on their lives.?My temperament has cooled, and my patience has grown as my understanding of them, and their environments have cleared. There’s no substitute for being genuinely present and distraction-free to build deep relationships with anyone – kids especially. I could now emulate the leader I was modeling them to be by making them breakfast, sending them off to school/practice/work, driving them and their friends all over the place, and teaching them problem-solving throughout the day. There are several challenges my boys were facing, and risks they were exposed to that I’m sure would have harmed them had I not been in a position to help them overcome their obstacles.

Becoming a Morning Person

I always read about how the most successful people would get up before 6:00 for their morning routine.?I’m even a fan/follower of Jocko Willink, who posts a picture of his watch at 4:30 am every morning.?But I could never motivate myself to adopt an early morning routine.

Well, a new puppy, growing athletes in need of a healthy breakfast, and a need to get that morning run in before things got uncomfortably hot changed that.?I’m up at 5:45 every morning with a set routine, and it feels great.?Time for journaling and reflection is built in, which helps me better plan my days, weeks and consider new areas for self-improvement and family contribution.

What’s Next?

Before I go any further, I have to mention my wife, who has been beyond supportive of my time off and the sole family breadwinner for the past six months. I am in awe of her ability to remain calm, understanding, and loving throughout this time.?She’s one of a kind, and I’m so lucky to have her in my corner.

With a better physical, mental, and family foundation under me now, I’m excited for the second half of my career. I’ve put a system in place for my job search and longer-term career trajectory to align with the ones my break allowed me to establish for my personal life.?My evolution as a parent has taught me how to develop the patience and temperament to better lead teams of people at work. My morning routine will help me hit the ground running for the workday. I have redefined “why” I’m returning to work and “why” I’m pursuing the role I’m pursuing.

I am seeking my next sales leadership opportunity at an enterprise software company with an inspiring mission, strong core values, and a focus on customer success.?I’m eager to help drive revenue growth, customer value and, most importantly, lead others to succeed and establish systems to achieve their career goals.

If you need someone with a new perspective and a fresh set of legs, let’s talk soon!