What Does Your Home Say About You?
With so many feeling like they've outgrown the places they've hunkered down in, no wonder the real estate market is in a frenzy.
We are ready for change.
But there is a deeper meaning to all of the change and what it means for you as an individual.
Carl Jung, the famous Swiss psychiatrist, believed our homes symbolized who we are. So, if you want a quick way to confirm who you've become and what your next steps are, ask, "what does my house say about me?"
I first heard this concept from the smartest woman I know, Dr. Martha Beck. She asked me this question years ago when she trained me to be a life coach.
My answer was different from what I'd describe now because I constantly change and morph into something more, just like you do.
Back then, my literal and figurative house was filled with everything about my five children. There were very few things in my home that were about me, except, of course, everything that represented taking care of my children.
But as I dove deeper into analyzing my home, I discovered that in my closet were workout clothes and sneakers--those were mine, all mine. Realizing this, I added more fitness to my daily routine, which strengthened my sense of self that often got lost in the demands of small children.
Lately, my homes exactly mirror my life's work and mission. I say "homes" not because I have many at one time but because I have many in succession.
All the "shoulds" in my brain have told me that I am wrong not to raise my children in the same house all their life. But ultimately, my truth is that my kind of mothering is different, and the experiences I give them are far more valuable.
It's nearly impossible for me to stay put for long. Once I get a house where I want it, my creative angst kicks in. And then I find another "gem in the raw," fix it up, and set it free in all its beauty.
And so, currently, after a little more than a year in what we call "The Sunshine House," today we put it in on the market, having already purchased another "fixer-upper."
This process is what I do for people, too. I help others take the hard things they've gone through, redeem them, and make them better than they were before because of, not despite, the scars and imperfections.
What Does Your House Say About You?
The process of becoming more is like fixing up a house. We look at where we are, salvage the interesting and beautiful pieces, and reshape ourselves into something new.
The first step in manifesting a dream life is to take stock of where you are, what you like about your life, and what needs to change.
I will walk you through an exercise I do with my clients to help you do this. You'll need a few moments alone, a place to get comfortable, and a pen and paper:
- The first step is to write down what you notice about the home in which you live. You can start anywhere--list anything and everything that comes to mind.
- The second step is the fun part: reflect on how each detail relates to yourself.
For example, the exterior of your home is the way the world sees you. Noticing this recently about my own home was revealing. My front yard is very understated, unfinished even. This bit of insight might show me how much I value my privacy or feel unsafe or unready for the spotlight.
Your main closet shows you what you do, how you clothe yourself for your daily activities. Sometimes in our closet, we have tucked away a dream--an article of clothing we aspire to wear. Or you may have a lot of clothes that you've outgrown.
The attic holds your memories or what's in your mind.
Closets and cupboards can show us the messy bits we haven't cleaned up yet.
Perhaps your home feels too cluttered--you long for less work, more simplicity, and a space that reflects who you are. Or maybe your home is too sterile--you are bored and want more out of life.
You'll glean a ton of information about who you indeed are and what needs to change to accommodate the new you.
It is supremely easy for me to see individuals like this--to see their rough edges as character with potential for beauty, with just a little elbow grease and vision. It's what I do.
I also teach people how to access these parts of themselves to create a blueprint for the next steps in their lives.
Try this exercise, and let me know what you discover!
"Tami is inspiring, intelligent, and intuitive. She can help you discover or rediscover your passions, develop processes for channeling them, and sustain the effort to achieve your goals." — Martha Beck, Ph.D., "O" Magazine columnist, best-selling author. You can schedule a coaching session with her here.
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