What does “wired differently” mean? (Part 2)

In my last newsletter I shared some of my experience of not fitting in, both as a kid and as an adult. It’s hard to look back on many of those periods of my life; they were painful. Having done a lot of “inner child” work of my own, I can now give that funny little girl a big hug and all the compassion that I couldn’t earlier on.

I still occasionally grieve, though, for what could have been. I wish I’d known many years ago what I do now about how I’m wired—how we’re all wired differently—and actively sought out others instead of always thinking I had to brave the world alone.

Having a community, somewhere I knew I belonged, would’ve made all the difference.

This is why I love the work I do now. I spend my time working with and supporting leaders who think or feel differently in understanding that they're not alone, recognizing and embracing their gifts, achieving their goals, and creating change.

And I’ve found my own community of highly perceptive folks who understand, have been there, are accepting, are welcoming, and are eager to continue learning about themselves and others. And feeling welcomed and accepted, I continue to learn and grow, too.

When a community of highly perceptive leaders comes together—leaders who all identify as being “wired differently”—magic happens.

? When we understand that we’re not weird, or broken, or crazy, things shift quickly.

? We gain confidence and self-esteem. We communicate more effectively.

? Bigger-picture visions come into focus and become totally achievable when we’re no longer focused on every single one of the frustrating details—and we’re reminded of how much we’re capable of.

? We become more fully ourselves, step into our power, and are better able to serve others.

I’ve experienced this myself and witnessed it over and over again in 1:1 clients and members of my mastermind.

The leaders I work with are incredibly smart; many are brilliant. They’re driven. Talented and highly competent. They’ve already achieved amazing things, and they want to do so much more. Each one of them will change the world in some way—or already has.

And yet there’s always something getting in the way—usually themselves.

(It took me many years to realize I was doing this myself and learn how to stop doing it. I don’t have a perfect score—I’m pretty sure it’s a lifelong journey—but oh, the lessons I’ve learned…)

Particularly in the corporate world, with its systems and structures that are usually designed by very few for everyone else, it can be hard to even stand still for a minute and reflect on the disconnects. We’re programmed to run at full speed, all the time. To get sh*t done. To put our game face on and “work hard, play hard.”

We’re also programmed to believe that we have to bend and contort ourselves to fit into those systems and structures the way they are, without question. How many of us at 22 (or 28 or 35) ever gave serious thought to whether our work environment was a good fit for us, rather than the other way around?

True leaders ask the questions, of themselves and of the systems and structures they’re enmeshed in. And instead of continuing to bend and contort to fit within them, they decide to create change. It might be changing their own ideas of the kind of environment or conditions they need to thrive.

It might be changing the way they engage with the existing systems and structures.

It might be changing the rules and questioning, or helping to redesign, the systems and structures themselves.

It takes someone who’s wired a little differently to be brave enough to create change.

?? If you’re one of these leaders and you’re tired of going it alone, the G.R.I.T. Collaborative might be for you.?

?? The next cohort of women leaders launches September 19. I’m excited about the group we have and what we’re building—and there’s still space for you to join us.

?? Intrigued? DM me. Know another woman leader who might be interested? Please share this with her.