What does it take to hold on...

My family, particularly my husband, Shobhit Khare, is my biggest ever cheerleader and the rock I letch on to. He fell sick in May 2021, and ever since, one thing I miss the most is his strong guidance, mentorship, and coaching. While I try to be his mentor, you know it's not easy to change positions because marriage teaches you to be habitual, if anything at all, and role reversal is hard to achieve.

Shobhit would often coach me on a lot of aspects, including self-management. With him being bedridden, there are certain rules I have learned the hard way, and I want to share my wisdom here because you never know what may be useful to someone struggling like me:

• Focus on others' self-interest. When seeking assistance, focus on how the person can benefit from helping you rather than appealing to their sense of mercy or gratitude. Do not remind them of past favors or good deeds; if they are in the past, they will be ignored. Emphasize how they will gain from assisting you, and they will be more enthusiastic about helping.
• Know who you are dealing with. Choose your victims and opponents carefully; different people react differently to the same strategy. One size will not fit all.
• Do not commit to anyone; commit?to yourself or the cause you believe in. Be your own master and remain independent to do what you love without strings being attached or detached.
• Plan till the end—plan?for all the possible consequences, obstacles, and twists of fortune. By planning to the end, you will not be overwhelmed by circumstances.
• Think as you like, but behave like others. Flaunting your unconventional ideas will draw attention, and people will find a way to punish you for making them feel inferior. Instead, prove your thoughts with your actions and create something original and powerful.
• Finally, and most importantly, "AVOID STEPPING INTO A GREAT PERSON'S SHOES." What happens first always appears better and more original than what comes after. You will have to accomplish double their achievements to outshine them.

Self-management requires a certain way of looking at the world and a shift of perspective. Certain basic skills are required, and once those skills are mastered, we will be able to apply the rules more easily. The most important of these skills and foundational rules is the ability to master one's emotions. An emotional response to a situation is the greatest barrier to self-management, a mistake that costs a lot more than any temporary satisfaction one gains by expressing their feelings.

There is more I am learning every day, and I will continue to pen it down. For now, let me try practicing these because learning and practicing are two different games again.