What Does Quiet Confidence Mean?

What Does Quiet Confidence Mean?

Confidence comes from being authentic, while arrogance and cockiness come from a place of insecurity. Quiet confidence/calmness is always attractive and productive. When others scream and shout to get attention, it shows signs of obvious insecurity. People with high levels of self-confidence and self-esteem tend to regularly do their best. One of the ways to help maintain a high level of confidence when times are tough and things aren’t going your way is to keep a personal highlight reel. When I was a call center supervisor, I always tried to keep recordings of my team members when they were performing at their best. I would label them as their personal GREATEST HITS. When my reps would get in a funk, we would listen to those recordings and identify the things that they were doing and fix those things. Improved results would typically follow. 

Doing your best, means pouring your heart and soul into it. BE ON FIRE FOR SOMETHING. People lose confidence not because of lack of ability, but for lack of commitment. Whatever you are doing, whether it be making a pizza, doing art or giving a presentation on employee benefits (that’s me), give it all you’ve got, don’t hold back. There is no in between when it comes to MAXIMUM EFFORT. Jack Welch from GE talks a lot about WINNING. Winning in business is great because when companies win, people thrive and grow. In Jack’s words, winning is not good, it’s great. Winning companies and people are the key to our economy. Confidence also comes from a high sense of self-worth/self-esteem. 

Quiet confidence is contagious, loud arrogance is not. Build that sense of self-worth/self-esteem around those things in your life that are rock solid, not possessions. Arrogant people are more attached to the material things, and you get the sense that it is the bling and flash that defines him or her. Arrogance is a sense that you are better than others, and these folks have a need to constantly sell others on that fact. If you have a high sense of self-worth, you give the glory to others, and try make others around you feel special. 

Don’t get me wrong, I believe firmly in being ambitious and having extremely aggressive goals and pushing oneself past your own comfort zone. I do not however believe in stepping on others during the process, and I think where confidence bleeds into arrogance is when others are manipulated. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. It’s up to you if you choose to soar with your strengths or focus on your faults. When in a state of arrogance, it is hard to accept constructive criticism, and some would rather be killed with false praise than accept any criticism whatsoever. As human beings, we tend to be our own worst enemy, and most of us are too harsh on ourselves. So, in summary, stay true to yourself, and keep a list of your own personal successes as a reminder to YOU that you can do it (whatever it is). Also, surround yourself with friends/family members/co-workers/mentors that truly care about you and your success, and give them the permission to keep you in check. Many times, it is much easier for those around us to notice arrogance than we can ourselves.

I think a perfect example of someone who embodies Quiet Confidence is Tony Dungy who actually wrote a book called Quiet Strength. Tony played college football, played for the Pittsburgh Steelers, spent many years as a coach in the NFL with various organizations, and now is a TV announcer. Tony not only won games at all levels, but was an integral part of every community he touched with his character, his morality, self-accountability and family first attitude. Tony’s style of leadership has intrigued many people especially his success in winning the respect of his players, leading them to a Super Bowl victory without the screaming/yelling/profainity.

Tony Dungy led his teams to victory, became the first African American coach to win the big game and amazed everyone with his quiet, authoritative leadership style.

Here is an except from Tony Dungy in regards to teamwork and success:

You can achieve more with a team than without. I’ve seen it time and time again: A team that is functioning well is more than just the sum of its parts. In fact, the Colts team that won the Super Bowl in 2007 was not the most talented team I had during my years in Indianapolis. But it was the team that came together best and played at a higher level than you might have expected from the sum of its individual pieces. Each member of the organization had bought into our clear vision and the way we planned to accomplish it, both on and off the field. Team members accepted their roles and saw the roles of others as valuable. Together they encouraged and assisted each other in bringing their best to the cause.

The same is true in other areas of endeavor. We have all seen organizations that have floundered and not lived up to their expectations, despite talented individuals. But I have seen numerous organizations accomplish much greater outcomes when each piece is functioning well within the whole. To improve team building and maximize performance, the leaders must do the following.

 1. Put first things first. Create a culture that values people inside and outside the organization. A culture that puts the interests of others first will set a standard by which everyone in the organization will measure his or her own performance.

 2. Get the culture right. The culture of an organization is the first thing other people see. It determines the direction of your organization and the way decisions are made. Get the culture right, and the rest won’t necessarily be easy, but it will be easier. What can you do to start changing the culture of your organization?

 3. Get everyone on the same page. How can you make your leadership more inclusive? How can you help your team to embrace the corporate mission?

 4. Strengthen your organization by embracing diversity. What can you do to build on the differences within your team?

 5. Break down barriers. Confident, secure leaders cross boundaries that otherwise separate society. What can you do to break down barriers inside and outside your organization?

 6. Bring the best people on board. Accept candid feedback and differing opinions with the idea that someone may have a better way.

 7. Accept and promote this truth for the good of the team: We are all important, but we are not indispensable.

 8. Be firm in the essentials but flexible in the nonessentials. Focus on the things that really matter.

 9. Treat the members of your team as you would volunteers. Mentor leaders realize the power of persuading others to follow, rather than requiring them to follow.

Dungy has said that he inherited most of his coaching philosophies from Chuck Noll, and he is proud of his time spent in Pittsburgh. I’ve always appreciated Tony Dungy’s cool, calm demeanor which has earned him the respect of his players, coaches and fans. I highly recommend two of his books – Uncommon and Quiet Strength.

In today’s crazy, fast-paced world, Tony seems to have reached a good balance of faith, family, and career. He seems to have achieved both success and significance in his life. He always puts family first and talks about “doing the best job you can as a dad, that’s what’s number one…”

Have a great weekend!

Dan from Indiana