What Does a Neighbor Look Like?

Imagine: You lock yourself out of your home. You call a locksmith. Shortly after you are safe in your home and the locksmith has departed, 19 armed police officers arrive because a neighbor who didn't recognize you reported a residential burglary.

What Does a Thief Look Like?

This is not fiction. It is the unfortunate story of unearned privilege trumping earned privilege. A white man (who made sure it was known that he is an attorney) couldn't imagine that a black woman (who has an MBA and is a Vice President in her corporate job) could be living in his neighborhood.

Fay Wells, the black woman, said:

"It didn’t matter that I told the cops I’d lived there for seven months, told them about the locksmith, offered to show a receipt for his services and my ID. It didn’t matter that I went to Duke, that I have an MBA from Dartmouth, that I’m a vice president of strategy at a multinational corporation. It didn’t matter that I’ve never had so much as a speeding ticket. It didn’t matter that I calmly, continually asked them what was happening."

She continued, "It also didn’t matter that I didn’t match the description of the person they were looking for — my neighbor described me as Hispanic when he called 911. What mattered was that I was a woman of color trying to get into her apartment — in an almost entirely white apartment complex in a mostly white city — and a white man who lived in another building called the cops because he’d never seen me before."

You can read the entire story in this article from The Washington Post.

Safety First, Right?

Who can fault anyone for reporting a suspected burglary? Most of us want to live in neighborhoods where we can count on our neighbors to keep a watchful eye on what's happening for the safety and well being of everyone.

What's critical to notice, however, is who we assume is safe and who we assume is not safe. Think about who you think "looks like" they should be in your neighborhood and who shouldn't.

What's also important to consider is whether the police response was appropriate. There is no question a response from the police was warranted; I wouldn't want the police to refuse to respond if my home was being burglarized. But was the dispatch of 19 officers - who allegedly started with guns pulled and neither asked for nor confirmed identity before taking strong, physical action  - either appropriate or necessary?

Maybe I'm naive but I would think any situation like this would begin with asking for identification. Was there some other extenuating circumstance that made the officers believe there might be a gang or group of armed criminals behind the closed door even though the neighbor reported only one person (or possibly two people if he saw the locksmith)? Was there a recent string of burglaries in that neighborhood with a similar description of the suspect? Had there been a pattern of officers being ambushed or shot at when responding to residential burglaries in sunny, Santa Monica, California?

“We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.” (Anais Nin)

Privilege

Many people argue that the problems often identified as outcomes of racism aren't racism at all and are actually caused by socio-economic disparities, failure of certain groups to take education seriously, laziness, or some other factor. But the belief that "people of color who get their education and behave responsibly will be viewed and accepted as equals" continues to be proven over and over again as a false belief. 

This idea that you can "earn" your way out of prejudice and racism is still more fiction that fact. Fay Wells has undergraduate and graduate degrees from prestigious universities, an executive level position in a multinational company and yet, she looks like a dangerous criminal to a neighbor.

A few months ago on LinkedIn, Bernard Tyson, President and CEO of Kaiser Permanente shared a powerful example of the way he is treated when he is not in an environment where people know he is the chief executive of a $55 billion company. He said:

"You would think my experience as a top executive would be different from a black man who is working in a retail or food service job to support his family."

A couple decades ago, Ellis Cose wrote a powerful book about "The Rage of the Privileged Class." He shared real life stories of black people who were attorneys, corporate executives, successful entrepreneurs and celebrities who were discounted, ignored, threatened and subject to all kinds of negative assumptions that were based on their skin color instead of their skills, experiences or character. 

Of course, this is not a new phenomenon. We could go back to the end of slavery and find countless examples. But if we just focus on the so-called "post Civil Rights" America of the the past 25-30 years, I could give you dozens of examples off the top of my head from articles and books on this subject. I could give you hundreds of examples from my own life. But that's not the point.

The point is that the neighbor who made the call may have been so driven by his unearned privilege based on the color of skin, that he didn't even realize he was making a negative assumption about another person based on skin color or race.

The point is that the police response may also have been so driven by assumptions based on skin color that their behavior reflected a "we will do anything we have to do to protect the people of this neighborhood" without consideration that this woman with brown skin also called this neighborhood home.

More recently, in The End of Anger, Ellis Cose examines the current generation of black achievers (people like Fay Wells), their attitudes as well as the decline of white guilt and the inter-generational shifts in how blacks and whites view and interact with each other. It's a much more hopeful book. But the point is that even though so much is better than it has ever been before, it is still far too common for black people to have experiences like Ms. Wells did on a regular basis. 

And if these kinds of judgments, stereotypes and assumptions are being made about black people who have achieved educational and career goals that far surpass the average American citizen, it's scary to consider the experience of those who are "just average" or those who don't have economic resources to provide greater credibility. 

The Neighbor

If Ms Wells had been a young, white woman waiting for the locksmith would her neighbor have called the police? Or might he have gone out to ask her if she needed some help? We'll never know.

He indicated in his conversation with her that it was Ms Wells' responsibility to go around and introduce herself to everyone in the neighborhood so they would know she was "ok." But it is obvious he didn't think it was his responsibility to go across the street into another building and make sure all the neighbors there, including Ms. Wells,  knew him and knew he was "ok." 

It's that double standard that's insidious. Unearned privilege shows up as the neighbor's expectation that someone who is different from him must not only (a) recognize what seems "normal" to him but also (b) take on the additional job to actively manipulate the environment in ways that make him feel comfortable, safe or respected.

Where is the neighbor's responsibility to recognize his assumptions, notice his stereotypes or expand his comfort zone? Where is the neighbor's responsibility to apologize for creating such a terrifying and ultimately humiliating experience for this young woman? Where is the neighbor's responsibility to be welcoming and affirming? Where is the neighbor's responsibility to be fair or respectful?

There is neither reward for the neighbor behaving differently nor is there punishment for him behaving poorly.

"If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed." (Albert Einstein)

It makes me wonder if Ms Wells had knocked on his door a few weeks earlier on a ridiculous quest to meet every neighbor within viewing range of her apartment, might this neighbor have called the police then? Would he have called to report a solicitor who obviously was "casing" the neighborhood preparing to rob everyone? Or might he have assumed he needed to protect his own home and opened the door prepared to shoot an intruder and claim it was self-defense?

That might seem far-fetched to the rational thinker, but what actually happened is equally irrational.

Armchair Quarterback

I am very aware that the article I read was from the viewpoint and experience of Fay Wells with some commentary by the police department. I am very aware that the neighbor's side of the story isn't shared in this article. So I am very aware that most of what I've said about him is speculation or conjecture.

I actually believe his intentions were not intentionally malicious in any way. I'd like to think he did some soul-searching after this incident. And, I have no desire to judge him personally or demand some action be taken against him.

Instead, I am simply using this real life story as an example to encourage each one of us to take a closer look at the assumptions we make about people who are different from us in some way. Let's all do the work of considering how our assumptions affect the experience others have of feeling welcomed, valued or included in our neighborhood, workplace or spiritual community. Let's commit to do this work individually and collectively, especially as it relates to race, racism and race relations.

Now What?

I prefer to focus on solutions, but there are still so many people I personally know who keep trying to convince me that there really isn't a problem.

"It isn't that they can't see the solution. It is that they can't see the problem." (Gilbert K. Chesterton)

 How can this not be a problem:

• A person with an MBA works as a vice president in her corporate job but, on sight alone, is considered a suspicious & dangerous threat in her own neighborhood.
• A police force responds with the assumption of guilt and wrong-doing and then, even after they realize she has done nothing wrong, officers continue to disrespect her and refuse to answer her questions.
• A neighbor is unapologetic for his actions and rudely dismisses her with profanity.

When this type of event is not an isolated event and is happening on a regular basis in cities nationwide, how can it be ignored? What is it that causes so many white people to be in denial about this?

But more importantly ... what will each one of us do in our own neighborhoods and communities to replace fear with trust, replace pain with partnership and replace ridicule with respect?

Tracy Brown is President of Diversity Trends LLC and is a nationally recognized expert on the multicultural, multigenerational, multiethnic workplace. She is the author of several books, including 71 Ways to Inspire Commitment to Diversity and Inclusion. She is known for her ability to transform the conversation about diversity from a political focus on civil rights to an empowering focus on mutual respect and increased productivity. She is also the moderator for the Facebook Group: What is Mine to Do. #minetodo