What does it mean to love yourself?

Loving yourself takes work. And you have to LEARN to do it by hijacking your biology to keep yourself safe and small so as not to draw too much attention to yourself.?

The brain wants you to catastrophise and worry, because that often takes less energy than actually going and ‘asking for the thing, or ‘saying what you want.’

It also means you will stay put and not unnecessarily leave your comfort to go and do things you are unused to.?

The sad truth is - as women - we are used to being unkind to ourselves. Here’s how I know…..

• In sessions with clients, when asked to write their thinking on paper - only 2 times in my career have those thoughts been predominantly positive.?
• When mapping out their thinking - women’s thoughts that are based in negativity will ALWAYS come back to the thought that they are ‘not good enough.’

Isn’t it horrifying to think about the impact that this has on the families, industries and friends of talented women who are doing themselves down all the time. Not to mention - the impact on the way they are able to live out their potential.?

With this in mind - let’s look at what it actually means to love yourself.?

Here’s some shifts in thinking to get you started:

1. Use the same amount of compassion with yourself as you would your best friend. Spend some time writing out how you feel about someone you love. Ask yourself if you could feel these things about yourself??
2. Trust your instincts. Easier said than done, right? This is where more biohacking could come in handy. Many of us spend more time in our heads than we need to. So using a breathing technique that grounds you and helps you be more aware of your stomach can help.??
3. Self-Belief - if you could bottle it up it would be so valuable. You need to identify the areas where you have lacking self-belief and proactively work on changing your mindset around this. Worried you’re not a good enough esthetician? Go and have a look at your work and testimonials. What is the evidence?
4. Commit to learning about who you are. Life will pass us all by so fast unless we work on this consistently and with real focus. Clients often feel they are passengers to the outside world or their emotions. The reality is - you can be in the driving seat. You have to take the time to swap seats and that takes work and time.

And this leads me to a very important point.?

Education is for life - not just for school.

Learning about who you are as a person needs to be a lifelong pursuit - not just something you do when it’s the start of a new year or when you are feeling particularly low. More on this later in the month - BUT in the meantime - why not grab a pen and paper and start working on your understanding of your ‘SELF’ today??

Self-coaching questions to help you learn to love yourself?

1. When you were younger, what could you spend hours doing without noticing that time was passing by?
2. Look around you now - what things are you proud to have near you? (I have a plant that I’ve managed to keep alive for 6 years - when all others have died under my care! - it could be the smallest of things but it’s important) Write out a list of these things in your journal.
3. What good stuff about you do you know to be true?
4. When have you supported someone you love?
5. Is there anyone that comes to you for advice or support? If so, who? And how have you helped?
6. What are you proud of?
7. What have you achieved so far on your journey?
8. Who do you love?
9. If you HAD to love something about yourself, what would it be and why?
10. Who told you you couldn’t love yourself?

That should keep us going!?

During a particularly difficult time in my life - in the process of leaving my marriage, I would ask myself these questions regularly. They helped me find love within myself that I have been looking for externally for so many years.?

It’s time to set down your negative thinking and step into self love.?

As always - I LOVE to hear how people are getting on with these blogs and info I’m sharing. So if you’ve had any improvements based on this - please let me know! Let’s keep the good news spreading!

Original blog found https://www.luciennecoaching.com/blog/how-to-love-yourself