What Does It Mean to Have a Role Model? A Thoughtful Reflection

We’ve all heard the term role model thrown around. Whether in casual conversations, at award shows, even during eulogies, the concept of looking up to someone for guidance and inspiration feels like a universal part of human experience. But what does it really mean to have a role model?

If you look up a definition, it’s pretty straightforward: A person whose behaviour in a particular role is imitated by others. Sounds simple enough, right? But, let’s be honest, the actual relationship between us and our role models can be far more complicated—and, at times, a little strange. After all, can you truly consider someone you’ve never met as a genuine role model? The short answer is yes. But there’s more to it than that.

Let’s unpack this.

Admiring from Afar: Can You Have a Role Model You've Never Met?

Most of us have role models we’ve never actually crossed paths with. Celebrities, entrepreneurs, athletes—people we see on our screens or read about in books. We admire their achievements, their poise, or their rise to the top. But can we fully understand who they are behind the scenes?

The reality is, no matter how much we idolize someone, we’re only seeing a carefully curated image. Social media, interviews, and award speeches only show us fragments of a person’s life. We don’t know the full scope of their character flaws, personal struggles, or the reasoning behind their decisions. And yet, we willingly put them on pedestals.

Take last night’s Emmy Awards as an example. It was interesting to observe how many winners acknowledged the "silent characters" who shaped them—people we’ve never heard of, mentors behind the scenes. These unsung figures play significant roles in moulding someone's journey, yet they aren’t the ones plastered all over billboards. Contrast that with how many of us idolize public figures we've never met, and the paradox becomes even clearer.

The Allure of Distant Role Models: Why Do We Look Up to People We’ve Never Met?

So why do we so often choose role models who feel far removed from our daily lives? The answer lies in what we’re searching for in the first place—escape.

The people around us, family members, colleagues, friends—they’re flawed. We see their mistakes and vulnerabilities up close. But with a distant role model, especially a celebrity, we can avoid that reality. They embody what we dream of: success, elegance, confidence—all without the messy human imperfections we deal with in our own lives.

Think about the incident with Will Smith at the Oscars, when he slapped Chris Rock. For a brief moment, Smith, a role model for many, revealed his flaws on the global stage. In that single, shocking action, some saw the unravelling of his image as a positive role model. But wasn’t that just his humanity slipping through the cracks? The incident reminded us that no one, not even those we look up to, is immune to flaws.

The Flawed Nature of Role Models: Why We Need to Be More Flexible

Here’s the kicker: It’s not just that they’re flawed. We are, too. When we choose role models, we’re often looking for some form of escapism, a way to distract ourselves from the imperfect reality we live in. But instead of seeing role models as paragons of perfection, perhaps we should view them as a source of inspiration for specific areas of life—not as holistic guides.

Why? Because no single person can navigate all the complexities of life for us. What works in one situation may not work in another. For example, the ambition of a tech entrepreneur may inspire you in your career, but their approach might not serve you when dealing with personal relationships.

It’s like trying to use a hammer to fix everything—eventually, you’ll come across something that needs a different tool.

The Role Model “System Switch”

This brings us to an important point: We need to learn how to switch between role models. One person won’t have all the answers for every scenario in your life. Think of it like changing the station on a radio—you need to tune into different frequencies depending on your circumstances.

In different stages of life, different people can offer the kind of guidance and inspiration you need. Your grandparents, for example, might be wonderful role models for offering wisdom and a listening ear. They’ve lived through various experiences and can connect with different generations. But why don’t we see them as role models as often? Quite frankly, because they’re “old”—they don’t fit the glamorous, idealized image we often attach to the term role model.

Yet, in their simplicity and wisdom, our grandparents often understand more about navigating life’s twists and turns than the Instagram influencer we idolize.

A Final Thought: Choose Wisely, and Choose Many

At the end of the day, having a role model is not about finding someone perfect to emulate. It’s about seeking out qualities in various individuals that resonate with where you are in life—and realizing that no one person can fulfil every need. One day, you might draw inspiration from a public figure’s determination, and the next, you might learn something equally valuable from a friend’s quiet resilience.

It’s important to be flexible, to acknowledge the flaws in those we admire, and to remember that it’s okay to have multiple role models for different aspects of our lives. So the next time you think about who inspires you, don’t limit yourself to one person, and definitely don’t expect perfection. Embrace the reality that even role models—like the rest of us—are wonderfully, sometimes frustratingly, human.