What does it mean to be a good leader?

Exposure to leadership begins in childhood shaping our perceptions and understanding of what it means to lead. This can be leaders on the public stage such as in political leadership or more mundane situations, such as the clubs and sports teams we are a part of. These experiences, these past stories and influences contribute to our thoughts, feelings and ideas about what it means to lead. Society and our culture also have specific values or narratives about what makes good or bad leadership. I was listening to an audiobook by Peter Block last week and he posed the question - How many good leaders do you know who are still alive? This made me think about how the role models that are often held up as great leaders are often historical from other times and countries.

As I work with new team leaders to support them in figuring out how to lead, it is common for them to feel that they aren’t being a good leader or to doubt their ability to lead. This stems from the unexamined ideas and expectations that they hold about what it means to be a good leader.

As a young leader in my early 30’s, I remember being very excited to step into my first leadership position.? I was then disappointed that the books and ideas about leadership that were offered to me centred the perspective of US, male corporate leadership. The words that they used about performance, authority and productivity didn’t resonate with my values of empowerment and care and the way we talked about service delivery and engagement of volunteers in the not-for-profit sector. It was clear to me that was how I didn’t want to lead. As we reject models that don’t align and remember poor leadership experiences, we can become quite reactive. It is easier for us to work out how we don’t want to lead than to identify some key elements in how we do want to lead.

Crafting good leadership starts with looking inwards first, before you become unthinkingly reactive, set unrealistic expectations or get caught in models from previous eras. The beginning of good leadership is to become very curious about what you already know, think and feel about leadership. Then you can start afresh to build a manner of leading that flows from who you are. Able to start thinking of leadership as something that flows out of your character, temperament and values rather than something that you ‘do’ or a role you fulfil in certain situations. The next aspect of crafting good leadership is to look around and become curious about your team and the context in which they are working. Then you can begin to answer the question of what sort of leader does my team need to flourish and be effective?’

Looking within and around will help you understand what a ‘good’ leader is for you and your context, and it won’t look at all like the type of leadership that worked for dead white guys.

Christina

I am Christina a psychologist and founder of The Kindness Workshop NZ. I am creating a kind world through developing kind leaders and training organisations to get their values off their walls and into daily actions.? I provide

??Leadership Development Coaching for new Team Leaders in Health and Social services.

??In person workshops for teams that want to create a culture of kindness

?? Well-being support for those who struggle with workplace stress and burnout.