What does 'AGING' gracefully mean?

I have stayed curious about understanding what does ‘aging gracefully' mean, because if we are not dying young we are all growing old. Does that mean ‘Hey, you don’t look your age.’ Infact, I made a mental note of the message I read ‘I don’t mind growing old as long as I don’t look it.’

NOW all of that sounds good, light and well?humoured.?But what became apparent to me with the precious time I spent with my aging parents had some interesting reflections.

1) As we age the strength of our life force (vitality) will diminish or rather say they?diminish because we don’t tend to our emotions.?Which means to say we can no longer?suppress unexpressed emotions.?They will?surface?as physical ailments, we are better off processing our emotions to let go of our past resentments. We are better off becoming aware of what thoughts are we playing host to.?Setting boundaries so while we say yes to others we aren't saying no to ourselves matters more.

2) Don’t wait for old age to practice humility. Start early. You maybe young now and pride yourself in being able to do things for yourself by yourself, but always?acknowledge the?cosmic forces that are at play in the form of people and events.

3) Don’t wait for old age to practice spirituality. The INTENTION behind your devotion matters deeply. Also when you are in pain and you know no one can take that pain away having FAITH in greater force can make the process less strenuous. You could even reach a phase where you are reminded this is a role you are playing don’t get attached to the?suffering. Blessed to have a few lived experiences that helped me realign.

4) Hitting the gym has not been my forte but movement will continue to be part of my everyday routine. We don't stop moving because we age, we age because we stop moving, this holds true for me, at so many levels.

You don’t necessarily have to agree with my BIG FOUR. It’s your discretion, you?have the power of choice, and with the passage of time I could add some more arrows to my quiver. But for now these will be my focus areas.

A few bonus reflections.?

- If you are struggling doesn’t mean you are failing.?

Watching Mum in pain was a struggle, and just because I was struggling it didn’t imply I was failing, I knew I had lessons to learn in my moments of PAIN.?

- When you don’t have adequate information you are better off sitting with an ‘unclear picture’ vs an ‘inaccurate picture’.?This quote touched me deeply in the most timely fashion.?Everytime Mom was wheeled into the hospital, there was lack of clarity on what her future course of medical intervention needs to be. But we learned the essence of sitting through the discomfort of not knowing with patience,?‘cause God had a better plan, we just had to start to learn to love the?unknown.?

- It is clear when I asked God?‘Make me patient’,?I was presented with numerous opportunities to tend to my aging parents. Hehe - I joke about it with God. I must be mindful about what I ask you.

- When the chips are down-as siblings making each other laugh, treating ourselves to a good meal together, sleeping in the lounge during our visits to the hospital, made bonding over our moments of grief meaningful. 'This was possible because Mum?wouldn't make us feel you guys are having fun when I am in pain, in the hospital and I feel abandoned'. She now sees how vulnerable we are?beneath the surface. She sees how we are all dealing with our own set of insecurities. As her children we see this as a a blessing and we won’t take that for granted.?Growing old doesn't necessarily mean you are evolving, but she was. YAY.

NOW?the biggie.

While I love the person I am becoming, I?notice I am grieving.

Aiyoo?

It is important to recognise this can feel like death and as Dr. Nicole LePera rightly put it...‘Your old conditioned self is dying as you become more?conscious, and you need to allow yourself to grieve, mourn and rest through this journey.? And I can’t even begin to tell how having a friend in a partner who holds a non-judgemental space has been my gift. Having a friend in my healer who extends herself with such deep compassion that I start to love myself a little more has been my awakening to hold myself gently through the process, and our 11 year old is the source of daily inspiration.

This is me signing off for now, with the hope that my sharing could help you feel a little less alone in your moments of grief and pain, and you will come out stronger.