What Does It Actually Mean to Be Empathetic?

There is an interesting debate about how humans experience empathy. There is a neurobiological side that believes empathy is tied to neurological and chemical responses. In this scenario, we experience empathy through strong first-hand emotions. This is a raw and human experience with much validity.

The other side explains empathy as more of an intellectual experience. A process of re-evaluating situations to gain a truer understanding of them. This form of empathy is built through time, experience, and interaction with others.

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When evaluating these two schools of thought there is one main difference that stands out. One is a quicker but likely more intense experience. While valuable, this form of empathy can only be applied within a narrow scope. This scope is limited to our individual experiences and perspectives, shaped by a myriad of internal and external forces.

While the ‘intellectual’ or ‘experiential’ method of empathy might not elicit an instant, intense, emotional reaction, the process it encompasses is more valuable and important. Compared to the neurological method, this form of empathy requires us to leave our realms of understanding, exit our comfort zones, and actively work to change, evolve, and improve.

Yes, we can debate the science of empathy all day. Regardless, the exercise understanding of what goes into building a connection to people and cultures that are different from us is invaluable. We have communities that are divided and workplaces that are increasingly diverse. Putting in the work to expand our sense of empathy is beneficial on an individual level, and vital on a collective level.

So how can we actively work to become more empathetic people?

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Embrace a Curios Mindset

Curiosity impacts the way we interact and connect with other people. By having a curious mindset, we are able to approach conversations with the intention to listen and learn. This means we’re asking more questions and listening to other people’s perspectives in their words. Curiosity rids the conversation of debate or angst because it reshuffles the root goal of the conversations themselves.

Get Better At Understanding Our Similarities With Others

Some of our greatest differences with others are often rooted in similarities. For example, citizens of conflicting countries may have animosity towards each other in part, due to a shared sense of patriotism for their respective countries. While they disagree on a specific issue, they might share a deep love for their country. Understanding the small areas within larger issues where we are similar is an effective way to build empathy.??

Putting Ourselves in Others’ Shoes

Through learned, connected experiences, we can better understand and experience the emotions of others. This prevents us from being too quick to judge and helps us find connections through our differences with others. When debating the two schools of empathy I always say, why not both? The simple exercise that goes into consciously and subconsciously becoming more empathetic is inherently beneficial to us as individuals and to our collective communities.?