What do you do when things are going wrong?

This morning I’m taking inspiration from my dog. In the dark, finally allowed to race up the stairs, she launched onto the bed only to miscalculate and shoot straight off the other side and land in a heap. Barely awake, I suddenly have a shot of adrenaline.

She might be hurt.

Immediately I’m up to check. She’s fine. She shakes it off straight away, as dogs do right after any shock or stress. For dogs, that’s it. The trauma is done for them, immediately. It’s not quite so easy for us, is it? Some of us carry stress and trauma for years, decades even, because it feels like we can’t shift it.

I’m not sure whether that’s why my Monday started strangely, that shot of adrenaline before I’d even opened my eyes properly, but this morning has been one of those mornings of mishaps. Nothing major, a couple of things (some pure slapstick) that didn’t go as smoothly as I’d like. And as I drop the youngest at school, I realise NOW I have a choice. I can carry on that way, or I can consciously do something to change it. So, I wonder, when things are going wrong for you, whether it’s a morning of mishaps or a something more fundamental, where life has been feeling hard for a longer period of time – what do you do?

Many of us have learned that unless we have it all together, we need to hide away until we sort ourselves out, and I do that sometimes. But more and more, I am realising that’s how those struggles continue. By shutting down, things stay the same - for the rest of the day, the week or longer. We are made for connection, and as Brene Brown says 'without [it] there will always be suffering.' So, why do we choose to suffer more when we are finding things hard?

What if during those tough times we opened up instead?

If we stop and we consciously change our state, by doing something different – obvious statement – IT CAN CHANGE. So many of us remain stuck feeling like things are hard, because we can’t see a way to change it. Sometimes, the change can be pretty simple, if we start with just the next moment, rather than trying to tackle it all at once. If LIFE feels overwhelming, changing just the next moment feels pointless. I know. But if we want change, we need to start somewhere.

This morning, I played some music that I know always shifts my mood and gets me feeling more positive. Singing loudly while getting ready...It helped. It hasn’t yet stopped the slapstick though! Another couple of daft things happened on the way to school, but its OK. Now, because I shifted my energy, I am not beating myself up over them or feeling sorry for myself about things feeling hard and 'Mondayish.' ?Now, I am not adding extra suffering to the already ridiculousness of my morning. It would have been easy to spiral into ‘poor me’ and perpetuate the downward cycle.

So, the next time things are going badly for you, what could you do to buck the trend? Is there someone you can reach out to, that always makes you feel better (choose wisely!). Or is there something you can DO differently? Play some music, crazy dance in your pants? Journal? Whatever works for you. The key is to accept the things that have gone wrong and do something totally different, ON PURPOSE. I used to find that even driving a different way to work would sometimes be enough to kick me out of the same old humdrum and change the course of my day. Breaking your own rules is a great way to do it. Realising and then breaking our longstanding, totally unconscious, rules is one of the most fun parts of my work with women! Talk about switching the lights back on...because when you can access it, a little bit of rebel (especially in our responsible, sensible lives) feels so much fun!

So, is there a way you can TAKE CHARGE? To consciously shift out of the madness, the crazy, frenetic? I’m afraid to say that even with the work I do with working women, and all the tools I can teach you, we can’t stop the crazy-frenetic. I didn’t manage to stop it for myself this morning. Those tough moments of crazy juggling and things going wrong will always happen, but I can show you how to shift out of it much more quickly and TAKE CHARGE of how life feels for you.

And if that improves one morning, wonderful!

But imagine if you could adopt that approach to your whole life?

Imagine if that helped you bring your best self to work every day, to lead yourself and others with grace, serenity and purpose. Imagine your confidence then? Your results and the leadership you’d provide from that calm and intentional place.

And imagine if that also spilled into your home life. If you were able to access that inner peace and intentionality when you are around your kids, your partner or anyone else that demands your attention. Imagine all the extra energy you’d have if you just dealt with the crazy and brought yourself back to calm, intentional and clear before rolling onto the next challenge.

It’s when we press on regardless that life and work feels like a struggle. I did it for years, because I just didn’t know that there was any other way. I didn't realise I had a choice.

If you are a woman that wants to keep doing well at work, AND be able to juggle the rest of your life with a little more ease, maybe it is time to TAKE CHARGE?

Continuing to do what got you here, will NOT get you to where you want to be.

If you want your career to thrive, to live a good life, be a good Mum/Partner (etc), AND be happy and fulfilled as a person in your own right, it really is time to TAKE CHARGE.

Book your free call now and I can tell you how.?

https://calendly.com/flourishcoachingconsulting/takecharge

Because, if you aren't in charge, then who is?

Nicky x