There is much grace in surrender

Baby, you've been going so crazy?

Lately, nothing seems to be going right...

But if you sing, sing…sing, sing sing sing…

Travis

What do you do when nothing seems to be going right? When everything is a fight, a struggle. Each thing that shows up seems to be a challenge to your deepest self… and rakes its fingers across the blackboard of your being.

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I suppose that I have chosen to become an expert at that particular space. Perhaps it’s like the fast-phobia technique that I used to use with hypnotherapy clients where you gradually and progressively immerse yourself in the very thing that you are so afraid of. In fact, it’s exactly like that. I couldn’t bear even the smallest hint of discomfort or uncertainty... the perfect ingredients in fact for addiction to control and, well, anything really.

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As I write this, I’m in a booth in a NEW co-working space. My energy is diffused, all over the place and there is a loud American accent punctuating and cutting the space (you know that us Brits are triggered more by that accent than any other, right?) And a few observations come to me…

1. What if this is EXACTLY as it is supposed to be??What if it’s me that needs to bend and respond to what is? Not wishing and fighting it to be another way? What if I can choose to work on something here (or not work on something here..that’s an option too) that includes noise and communication: I started writing this and the noise stopped!

2. How much in my life is ‘going wrong’ now? How can I choose to view it differently?

• My car has blown up
• At the same time I can’t walk due to hip pain
• My business is changing so fast I no longer recognise it
• I have a less-than-perfect apartment
• My daughter is really pressuring us to provide her with 100% perfection

And what if all of these things are pointing me in the direction of: LET GO; it’s fine, you don't need to work so hard, let the magic happen. Jump off the control train and allow yourself to be delighted and surprised. RE-LAAAAAAAX!?

(I haven’t… yet… by the way. But I’m now seriously considering it.)

3. How many things I have to be grateful for..

• We met people who found us an amazing mechanic straight away and the car is on the mend.
• The car travelled all the way from Montenegro before she elegantly ‘died’
• The apartment is in a beautiful location near four puppies that we can walk.

• My husband is happy and socialising at last (he’s very sociable by the way, it’s just that Montenegro wasn’t)
• We are in a stunningly beautiful location.
• I am learning so much about creation through being present with discomfort.
• I am learning more and more every day how to world-school ourselves together.
• I already love Bansko. They have hot springs. Full stop. End of. (Why did I feel a pang of guilt there? I have a long-awaited newsletter/article to write about the guilts of being free, happy and generally winning at life)

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I’m going to stop there as you’ll have figured out by now that I’m playing Pollyanna’s Glad Game. This is what I’m teaching myself and my family: how to be resilient. How to choose what you really want in life and then get present with EVERYTHING that shows up. You do not need to be more perfect, or have better guarantees, more money even - you just need to repeatedly expose yourself to disappointment, change and messiness and pretty soon you’ll find you're free and happy too.

It’s your own self-directed exposure therapy.

If you're struggling, book a ￡99 100% CLARITY SESSION with me:

https://www.jessicasummershypnogenics.com/shop/100-clarity-session

When you know what you want, everything becomes easier.

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