"What Do You Want to Do With Your Life?"

Ahhh. The million dollar question that everyone decides you’re supposed to know the answer to when you hit the age of 20.?

As a junior, I’ve been asked this question a lot this year. It's sparked a weird juxtaposition between sort of knowing the answer, but also feeling too young to answer it, but also knowing that whatever I answer now will probably be completely different than where I actually end up. Life has a way of taking our expectations and morphing them into a result we didn’t really expect, yet always, somehow, working itself out.?

So, I thought I’d answer that question today on this blog, in all its messiness:

• I want to be authentic. I want to own my mistakes but not allow them to define me. I want to embrace my weaknesses and never hide from them, and be confident in my strengths. Life is too short to spend half of it pretending to be something you’re not.
• I want to make a difference, even if it’s the smallest amount. I don’t need my name to go down in history books or end up in a hall of fame. I just hope that I leave a small legacy behind me of love.?
• I want to create. Nothing compares to the feeling of being face-to-face with a finished product that you created. From school essays to songs to campaigns to feature articles to graphics to paintings to collage walls in my room—nothing compares to that feeling. I want to never stop creating!
• I want to tell stories. I've spent my time in college working in storytelling positions at first, 1893 Brand Studio , and now Carolina Angel Network and UNC Kenan-Flagler Business School . I've had the chance to speak with numerous inspiring individuals, having been entrusted with conveying their stories in a way that highlights their deepest values and strongest motivators. This has cultivated a strong belief within me that every single person has a story worth being told, and I love being a part of discovering it.
• I want to write a lot of cool things. There are so many ways to tell a story: art, music, etc, but my favorite is through words. I write all the time: in my journal, in classes, on LinkedIn (hey!), for internships, social media posts, songs, poems, essays—you name it, I've probably written it. While sometimes a research paper doesn't sound fun, I never get tired of writing. It's like a puzzle that needs to be solved, and when you find the perfect order and combination of words, the message you convey holds power: to evoke emotion, to change ideas, to say something that matters.
• I want to meet lots of people! I am a huge people person, and I love to communicate with others. I want to be a "there you are" person, and not a "here I am" person. I want to say hello to strangers and talk to the person beside me on planes. I never want to be so engulfed in my own la la land that I miss the opportunity to make an unexpected connection.
• I want to go places. So far I've been to London and Italy, and I hope that the list continues to grow. I find so much value in broadening my understanding of different cultures and I would love to experience many more.
• I never want to stop learning. We’d all be naive to think that we’re experts at everything, even our best skills. There is always room to improve, acquire new skills, or hone your craft. Creatives often struggle to hold their work loosely—able to be edited, and I encounter that struggle sometimes too. But, I never want to let that keep me from growing. So much good happens when you open your mind to new ideas.
• When I reach the end of my life, I don’t want my resume, or the amount of Instagram followers I had, or how well I dressed, or how many people knew me to be the thing people remember most. I want to be remembered by the ways I loved, the ways I made people feel seen, and new ideas and perspectives I brought to the table.
• I want to walk at a slow pace. I never want to be so focused on everything we believe will bring satisfaction to us: "success," fame, money, status, followers, recognition, that I miss what really matters. If you've read any of my blogs before this one, you'd know that I see a lot of value in stepping back from our go, go, go culture and embracing simplicity, taking time to slow down and notice the little things. I think most of all, no matter what I "do" with my life—I want to create space to actually enjoy it. It's hard to enjoy a view if you're too busy zipping past it.

The next time someone asks me this million dollar question, I think all of these bullet points will fly through my mind. I'll probably answer with a much more condensed, much less introspective response, but this is what I'll really mean.

Who I am is not a career path or a long list of goals to accomplish before I'm 30. We are not defined by all the things we "do." We are defined by what we value. I value my faith, authenticity, forgiveness, learning, perseverance, creativity, family, community, and storytelling.

So maybe we shouldn't ask "what do you want to do with your life?" like an expectation that we are all supposed to do something grand, and if we fail by the measure of others, we've wasted our one chance of life.

Rather, the question we should be asking is, what do you value? Because if you live by what you value—you'll always be doing something that matters.

So, if you don't know what you want to do, look at your core. I'd say that's a pretty good place to start.